Spiritually attacked on the road - any advice?

[newbie25553]

I am a married man with two young boys (both under 2 years old) who travels occasionally for work.

Recently, I have felt exceedingly attacked while in hotels on the road. I have nearly no motivation to do anything whatsoever when I get into the room, and have slipped into “binge” masturbation. With God’s grace, I have not subjected myself to the pornography I used to view in the past, but also have been binge watching “tame” erotic materials i.e. YouTube).

I run to confession at the first opportunity after this takes place.

I do not have these temptations while at home, and as my family grows I am feeling a huge disparity between who I am at home (motivated, happy, etc) and who I am on the road (lazy, gluttonous, etc.)

I can’t be the first businessman who has gone through this while his family grows, and I’m hoping some of you might offer tips and advice. Thank you very much.

 

[bardegaulois]

My first thought here is that you might want to get on a cycle of morning meditations and evening examens, picking apart little flaws and venial sins that might lead you to such mortal sins like those you mention here, resolving to combat them over the course of the day, and giving an account of yourself to yourself in the evening. And don’t just do this when you’re travelling; your flaws are still with you whether you’re at home or in a hotel. Practice in this sort of self-discipline, inspired by the Ignatian school of spirituality, wherever you are will give you a much better resistance to those urges that bedevil you when you are alone.

You might consider a prayer of St Ignatius of Loyola to begin your morning meditations, such as the Suscipe below. You might also want to repeat it in times of temptation:

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me.

 

[Inquiringperson]

I am a married man with two young boys (both under 2 years old) who travels occasionally for work.

Recently, I have felt exceedingly attacked while in hotels on the road. I have nearly no motivation to do anything whatsoever when I get into the room, and have slipped into “binge” masturbation. With God’s grace, I have not subjected myself to the pornography I used to view in the past, but also have been binge watching “tame” erotic materials i.e. YouTube).

I run to confession at the first opportunity after this takes place.

I do not have these temptations while at home, and as my family grows I am feeling a huge disparity between who I am at home (motivated, happy, etc) and who I am on the road (lazy, gluttonous, etc.)

I can’t be the first businessman who has gone through this while his family grows, and I’m hoping some of you might offer tips and advice. Thank you very much.

Try setting up an appointment with a priest you trust for advice.

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.

 

[katpants]

My husband is a recovering porn addict and sorry to hear you’ve been going through temptation.

PLEASE tell your wife. Don’t leave her out in the dark about this. It will bring pain and issues but keeping it from her will hurt her all the more. An honest marriage is so important.

It reminds me of: Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten secretly is tasty!" from Proverbs.

This is your thing, and has no interaction from family. You can finally not have the kids or wife bothering you and you have time to yourself. We repeat things we’ve done in the past and it’s hard to break an old habit. Did you masturbate quite a lot when you were by yourself in the past?

Definitely talk with a priest, and keep your home life with you on the road. Skype with your wife and kids if possible. Pray the rosary, attend mass in a new church, exercise, just keep busy. Idle hands are tools of the devil.

Praying for you and I hope this wasn’t weird what I wrote.

Kat

 

[mommy_k]

Perhaps if you pack a blessed statue of the Virgin Mary with you and put it in a visible spot in the room it will help you pray and focus on purity. It will help to make the hotel room a more sacred space too.

 

[StGerardMajella]

I am a married man with two young boys (both under 2 years old) who travels occasionally for work.

Quit your job and find one that doesn’t involve overnight travel. The danger to your soul is not worth the job. See if you can transition to a desk job that doesn’t involve travel.

Hotels and motels have all kinds of strange spirits. So many travelers, so many people staying there over many years. The rooms accumulate some strange spiritual dynamics. A really spiritual individual can detect some of these strange spiritual dynamics, especially when sleeping.

If you elect to continue to travel, you need to wear a scapular and a rosary on your person. You should try to make an effort to attend a local Mass when you are staying overnight, preferably the old traditional Latin Mass if you can find one. Bring holy water, a small crucifix, the Bible, and some St. Benedict medals with you. You need to arm yourself with as much spiritual ammunition as you can muster.

Unplug the TV, or ask to have the TV removed for religious reasons - Some hotels might accommodate, some may not.

When you fall asleep, keep the rosary in your hands. Say the rosary as you are falling asleep.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I don’t know if this is any help, but at home you’re surrounded by your wife, family and have any number of things to keep your mind active and busy.

But in a hotel room, in another city, all that is removed. You no longer have these things which help to keep you on the straight and narrow.

It is one thing to develop deep spiritual practices, but the fact remains you’re still on your own, and don’t have anything to do except during business hours when your job or business would keep you busy.

So before you go anywhere, you need to make a plan as to how to occupy some of your leisure time while you’re away (assuming you have any).

Is there a church you can go to? A group you can meet with? A spiritual adviser you can talk to in the city you’re visiting? Are you in Toastmasters, and can you visit another club during your travels?

I think you need some external stimulus which will keep you distracted from the temptation of the cable TV or internet sites you can so easily access in the hotel.

As my old pastor concluded in one of his sermons many years ago, “What you think about when you’re on your own is very, very, very, very important!”

 

[StGerardMajella]

Quit his job over this?
With two children under 2?

If your job is leading you into mortal sin that would lead to eternal punishment in hell, then quitting that job is paramount. Unfortunately, sin is a cancer that will continue to grow unless addressed with prompt action. The long-term consequences are eternal.

Naturally, the original poster should not leave a job without having a replacement job, if possible. By the same token, the original poster should not delay in promptly finding other employment.

Hell is a real place, as is Purgatory. The original poster should do everything he can to avoid those situations that lead to mortal sin.

 

[ccmcmg]

I am a married man with two young boys (both under 2 years old) who travels occasionally for work.

Recently, I have felt exceedingly attacked while in hotels on the road. I have nearly no motivation to do anything whatsoever when I get into the room, and have slipped into “binge” masturbation. With God’s grace, I have not subjected myself to the pornography I used to view in the past, but also have been binge watching “tame” erotic materials i.e. YouTube).

I run to confession at the first opportunity after this takes place.

I do not have these temptations while at home, and as my family grows I am feeling a huge disparity between who I am at home (motivated, happy, etc) and who I am on the road (lazy, gluttonous, etc.)

I can’t be the first businessman who has gone through this while his family grows, and I’m hoping some of you might offer tips and advice. Thank you very much.

FYI, there is a hotel chain that no longer offers ‘adult entertainment’, in case that does become an issue.

Perhaps, in the meantime, if there is a chain or hotel that you stay at, change. Start anew with a new hotel/chain, one that you haven’t ‘sinned’ in this way in.

Fall asleep listening to the Rosary on a podcast if bedtime is an issue. Have a Rosary you can hold. Sleep differently (such as on the couch instead of bed, or while wearing shorts/tshirt so that you’re ‘dressed’). Call your wife. The other suggestions on this thread are great as well. If need be, could you bring your family with you, if it’s a short nearby trip? What about sharing a room with a male coworker? Don’t drink, if that causes you temptation. Maybe fast, such as having a light evening meal instead of a filling one. You might focus on your hunger instead, and offer it up for those that are struggling or hungry. Only use your computer for WORK RELATED things. Go for a walk if possible; don’t spend any more time in your hotel room than required, if possible. Go to a movie WITHOUT sex/violence (yeah, right, I know…).

If it’s an issue at other times besides before sleep, perhaps have the Rosary wake you up, or Catholic radio. Change your routine somehow. Maybe shower at night instead of in the morning. Exercise when you feel tempted. Maybe even, if it’s mornings, get up and go to Mass. Read the Bible, read some Christian fiction.

Ask God specifically for what you need. Address it. Find a good confessor if possible, a regular one, FACE TO FACE. Face to face is hard, especially with these types of sins, but it could really help.

I’ll pray for you. Please pray for me, too. God bless you.

 

[fred_conty]

I am a married man with two young boys (both under 2 years old) who travels occasionally for work.

Recently, I have felt exceedingly attacked while in hotels on the road. I have nearly no motivation to do anything whatsoever when I get into the room, and have slipped into “binge” masturbation. With God’s grace, I have not subjected myself to the pornography I used to view in the past, but also have been binge watching “tame” erotic materials i.e. YouTube).

I run to confession at the first opportunity after this takes place.

I do not have these temptations while at home, and as my family grows I am feeling a huge disparity between who I am at home (motivated, happy, etc) and who I am on the road (lazy, gluttonous, etc.)

I can’t be the first businessman who has gone through this while his family grows, and I’m hoping some of you might offer tips and advice. Thank you very much.

Nothing is easy. There is no easy way.

Try starting out with abstinence for one hour every day except Sunday. Abstinence from every pleasure of the 5 senses. Nothing goes into the mouth including water. No pleasure for the eye such as TV, magazines, etc. No pleasure for the ear such as radio, records, etc. No pleasure or consumption whatsoever for one full hour. Just pick an hour.

Then start a prayer routine that you can handle but make it tough enough that you have to work a little to get it in.

This isn’t going away by itself, you will have to sacrifice and discipline yourself to say no.
Then offer this up each day for someone else so they receive the benefit of your sacrifice. That is charity which is looked upon with great love by Jesus.

The regimen is fasting and prayer and charity…whatever you decide to do.

 

[dangerousdyls]

My husband is a recovering porn addict and sorry to hear you’ve been going through temptation.

PLEASE tell your wife. Don’t leave her out in the dark about this. It will bring pain and issues but keeping it from her will hurt her all the more. An honest marriage is so important.

It reminds me of: Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten secretly is tasty!" from Proverbs.

This is your thing, and has no interaction from family. You can finally not have the kids or wife bothering you and you have time to yourself. We repeat things we’ve done in the past and it’s hard to break an old habit. Did you masturbate quite a lot when you were by yourself in the past?

Definitely talk with a priest, and keep your home life with you on the road. Skype with your wife and kids if possible. Pray the rosary, attend mass in a new church, exercise, just keep busy. Idle hands are tools of the devil.

Praying for you and I hope this wasn’t weird what I wrote.

Kat

I like what Katpants said. Just my opinion, but it sounds like sound advice.

That quote from Proverbs hits the nail on the head for me.