SPLIT: Difficulties with RE for Children

  • Thread starter Thread starter Phemie
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

Phemie

Guest
However you MUST insist on proper training AND ongoing Formation!
That means you do without – as we’ve pretty much done for as long as I’ve been here. We can’t get anyone to volunteer to teach religious education so in the past 10 years the only thing that has been available is immediate sacramental preparation taught by 1 person for the last 5 years… The parents were used to a Catholic school system and when that fell by the wayside they weren’t interested in teaching their own kids and nobody else wanted to do it either.
 
That means you do without – as we’ve pretty much done for as long as I’ve been here. We can’t get anyone to volunteer to teach religious education so in the past 10 years the only thing that has been available is immediate sacramental preparation taught by 1 person for the last 5 years… The parents were used to a Catholic school system and when that fell by the wayside they weren’t interested in teaching their own kids and nobody else wanted to do it either.
Well I see no problem with parents teaching their own Children and parental Sacramental Formation. Children and parents will be interviewed several times along the way to make sure they understand the Catholic Faith and are ready. If the parish cannot find real people interested in providing some ministry, then the parish really does not want that ministry!
 
Well I see no problem with parents teaching their own Children and parental Sacramental Formation. Children and parents will be interviewed several times along the way to make sure they understand the Catholic Faith and are ready. If the parish cannot find real people interested in providing some ministry, then the parish really does not want that ministry!
Interviewed by whom? For 4 years the pastor refused to even meet the parents of children preparing for the sacraments. As for the parents teaching their own children, more power to them, but that’s not what we are seeing.

We are seeing all but a handful of parents refuse to do anything with religious education. We’ve tried to provide a home/parish process, bringing in the parents every month or so to go over the modules and to give them the tools to teach their children. No interest. If they can’t drop them off at a class and go have coffee while someone else does the work they are not interested.

When the school was Catholic they didn’t have to do anything – it was all up to the teachers. They still want it to be up to the teachers, unfortunately there are no teachers.
 
We’ve tried to provide a home/parish process, bringing in the parents every month or so to go over the modules and to give them the tools to teach their children. No interest.
Obviously, I don’t know the details at your parish, Phemie. But, consider this generic question from the parents’ side of the table:

What did the parents who reacted so cooly think of the “modules?”

The truth is that some of the stuff that’s put forward as Catholic catechism material is . . . uninspiring. E.g., the books we’re expected to use, Blest are We, have been described as “silly.”

Sometimes I think I see a vicious circle: The people who run the catechism programs don’t get a good response from parishioners; so, their reaction is to dumb it down even more, contrive even more novel gimmicks, etc. They don’t seem to notice that maybe it’s the dumbness and gimmickry that are putting people off in the first place.
We are seeing all but a handful of parents refuse to do anything with religious education.
My sense of RC Church in America today is that all but a handful of parents are largely ignorant of what Catholic Christianity is. That, presumably, is a reflection of how they were taught in '70s, '80s, and '90s. So, maybe they couldn’t do it even if they were willing to cooperate?

That is a strong contrast to Fr. O’Malley’s description of Catholics in 1950s: best catechized generation in history. (What Happened at Vatican II. Book not handy, so can’t give page citation.)

ASD​

Baltimore Catechism
 
Obviously, I don’t know the details at your parish, Phemie. But, consider this generic question from the parents’ side of the table:

What did the parents who reacted so cooly think of the “modules?”

The truth is that some of the stuff that’s put forward as Catholic catechism material is . . . uninspiring. E.g., the books we’re expected to use, Blest are We, have been described as “silly.”

Sometimes I think I see a vicious circle: The people who run the catechism programs don’t get a good response from parishioners; so, their reaction is to dumb it down even more, contrive even more novel gimmicks, etc. They don’t seem to notice that maybe it’s the dumbness and gimmickry that are putting people off in the first place.
No, it wasn’t the content or the presentation, it was the idea that they should be the primary catechists for their children. They don’t want to do it because they have never had to do it.

In my town the most popular religion is hockey. Parents will give up leisure, new furniture, Mass, sacraments, etc if Jr, or little Miss is in hockey and must travel to a tournament or get new equipment.

The sacramental preparation has had to be compared to hockey practice: "Can your child forgo several practices and then play in the big tournament? No? Consider it the same way with the sacraments, he misses several preparation sessions/practices, he doesn’t get confirmed/make his First Communion/play.
 
Interviewed by whom? For 4 years the pastor refused to even meet the parents of children preparing for the sacraments. As for the parents teaching their own children, more power to them, but that’s not what we are seeing.

We are seeing all but a handful of parents refuse to do anything with religious education. We’ve tried to provide a home/parish process, bringing in the parents every month or so to go over the modules and to give them the tools to teach their children. No interest. If they can’t drop them off at a class and go have coffee while someone else does the work they are not interested.

When the school was Catholic they didn’t have to do anything – it was all up to the teachers. They still want it to be up to the teachers, unfortunately there are no teachers.
Basically you are saying they (the other parents) are not interested in having their children receive the Sacraments. I would take it up with the diocese, office of Catechesis and Sacramental preparation. The diocese can provide a Catechist or require the pastor to become iinvolved, or require the children to attend Catechesis and Sacramental preparation at another near-by parish.
 
Basically you are saying they (the other parents) are not interested in having their children receive the Sacraments. I would take it up with the diocese, office of Catechesis and Sacramental preparation. The diocese can provide a Catechist or require the pastor to become iinvolved, or require the children to attend Catechesis and Sacramental preparation at another near-by parish.
Oh no, the sacraments they’ll line up for.

“My son is in grade 2, he needs to make his first communion.”

You bite your tongue so as not to say, ‘er, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at Mass before.’ What you know is that this child will come for the preparation for First Communion and then you probably won’t see him again until it’s time for marriage.

For 9 years we celebrated Confirmation and First Communion together but for about 50% you knew that if you saw them again at Christmas you’d be lucky. Effectively, 12 weeks of coming to Mass on Sunday and 6 sessions of sacramental preparation would be the extent of the catechesis they would ever get and they were 8 years old.

There is no nearby parish and there is nobody for the diocese to send in. You have to realize that a great many of our parishes don’t have a pastor, some only see a priest about 4 times a year.
 
Oh no, the sacraments they’ll line up for.

“My son is in grade 2, he needs to make his first communion.”

You bite your tongue so as not to say, ‘er, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at Mass before.’ What you know is that this child will come for the preparation for First Communion and then you probably won’t see him again until it’s time for marriage.

For 9 years we celebrated Confirmation and First Communion together but for about 50% you knew that if you saw them again at Christmas you’d be lucky. Effectively, 12 weeks of coming to Mass on Sunday and 6 sessions of sacramental preparation would be the extent of the catechesis they would ever get and they were 8 years old.

There is no nearby parish and there is nobody for the diocese to send in. You have to realize that a great many of our parishes don’t have a pastor, some only see a priest about 4 times a year.
I agree with the Hockey comparison. What i’m saying we are going to teach YOU the faith so that YOU can prepare your children. If you don’t come to the adult class, don’t expect your children to receive their Sacraments until you do. First Holy Communion can be received at 12 just as well as 8.
 
I agree with the Hockey comparison. What i’m saying we are going to teach YOU the faith so that YOU can prepare your children. If you don’t come to the adult class, don’t expect your children to receive their Sacraments until you do. First Holy Communion can be received at 12 just as well as 8.
It’s not that easy. We tried to do what Phemie described and teach the parents so they can teach their kids. It failed miserbly because the parents were too busy. We have a large number at SAHMs but they too were too busy to come to sessions even though we had baby sitting and did it during the day. Forget about evenings. If we tell them their darlings cannot receive communion the angry letters begin and the talk goes around town how mean the Catholic Church is. We have already seen a dramatic drop in the number of baptisms and weddings, and many have gone to the non-denominational church down the road. Part of me says, well, good for them, let us be happy with a Church that wants to be here. But then, part of me says if they leave then we lose any chance of evangalizing them.
 
I agree with the Hockey comparison. What i’m saying we are going to teach YOU the faith so that YOU can prepare your children. If you don’t come to the adult class, don’t expect your children to receive their Sacraments until you do. First Holy Communion can be received at 12 just as well as 8.
There would have to be the will to do that on the part of TPTB and I don’t see that. What I see is the idea that the very fact that they are asking means that there is faith there so we support that faith by dispensing sacraments upon request. My experience is that couples are told “Even if you’re requesting Baptism because grandma insists that the baby be baptized that’s ok, we’ll baptize your baby (whispered aside: even though we know you’ll never return to church until he/she is old enough for First Communion)” There is no will to say: “No, I’m sorry, at this very moment we see no chance that your child will be raised in the Faith so we’ll postpone this until you are ready to really assume your responsibilities.”

That then extends to the rest of the Sacraments of Initiation. Right now we have no plans to have Confirmation since, due to our 9 year history of Confirmation & First Communion at the same time, the children who are unconfirmed are younger than the new minimum age set by our diocese.
 
It’s not that easy. We tried to do what Phemie described and teach the parents so they can teach their kids. It failed miserbly because the parents were too busy. We have a large number at SAHMs but they too were too busy to come to sessions even though we had baby sitting and did it during the day. Forget about evenings. If we tell them their darlings cannot receive communion the angry letters begin and the talk goes around town how mean the Catholic Church is. We have already seen a dramatic drop in the number of baptisms and weddings, and many have gone to the non-denominational church down the road. Part of me says, well, good for them, let us be happy with a Church that wants to be here. But then, part of me says if they leave then we lose any chance of evangalizing them.
In our experience there was no interest on the part of the parents. They don’t want to be the ones to teach their children. Whether it’s because they don’t feel qualified or because their history has been that the school has always done it so parents don’t feel it’s their responsibility, they simply won’t do it. Heck, even with the small amount we ask of them during the period leading up to First Communion often doesn’t get done and that would only take about an hour total during the week between sessions.

You have to understand that most parents we deal with went through the Catholic school system at no cost to their parents. Our system in Canada is/was very different from what I read about in the US. In this province there were no public schools, all the schools were denominational and supported by our taxes. So you had the Catholic system, the Integrated (Anglican, United, etc), the Pentecostal system, etc. Parents had no responsibility, the school did it all and the parents showed up at church with little bride/little groom to watch them receive the various sacraments. That mentality has not changed in spite of the change of situation 10 years ago.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top