SPLIT: Need to confess to person you wronged?

[CatholicPerson1]

Can someone answer me this please? If you’ve sinned secretly against someone but they have no knowledge of what you did, I know you can confess to God or a priest, but if you feel you need to tell that person,but are too scared to, that would be a cowardly act. What should one do? Does one need to confess to that person as well as God and/or The Priest?

 

[MacQ]

I understand the joy of the Sacrament of Penance but is there anyone else out there who has difficulty putting their sins into words. Who has trouble being able to confess their sins. I’d like to think I am not alone

It’s not supposed to be easy.
I find it goes better if I write it down.

 

[CatholicPerson1]

Can someone answer me this please? If you’ve sinned secretly against someone but they have no knowledge of what you did, I know you can confess to God or a priest, but if you feel you need to tell that person,but are too scared to, that would be a cowardly act. What should one do? Does one need to confess to that person as well as God and/or The Priest?

Note: The time I posted that is incorrect

 

[KD8TZC]

Yeah! But I also use it to my advantage (or should I say the Holy Spirit uses it to help me). I was so humiliated by confessing them, that I flash back to that particular confession and use my feeling of humiliation as preventive measure.

No way do I want to confess that one again!
God help keep me strong!

Amen to that! It’s also not supposed to be easy… if it were, would we be remorseful?

 

[Jean_Anthony]

aaa

 

[Paleocon]

Can someone answer me this please? If you’ve sinned secretly against someone but they have no knowledge of what you did, I know you can confess to God or a priest, but if you feel you need to tell that person,but are too scared to, that would be a cowardly act. What should one do? Does one need to confess to that person as well as God and/or The Priest?

Such is not required.

 

[MacQ]

Can someone answer me this please? If you’ve sinned secretly against someone but they have no knowledge of what you did, I know you can confess to God or a priest, but if you feel you need to tell that person,but are too scared to, that would be a cowardly act. What should one do? Does one need to confess to that person as well as God and/or The Priest?

Start with the priest.
Why do you keep saying God OR the priest?
Go to confession. With the priest.

As for the person you sinned against, some correction is probably necessary depending on how exactly you harmed them.
Did you tell someone a lie about them?
If so, you need to correct it with the person you told.

 

[Scottgun]

I was at a marriage retreat and one of the rules was not to disclose to spouse matters for the confessional.

 

[MacQ]

I was at a marriage retreat and one of the rules was not to disclose to spouse matters for the confessional.

I agree with that. And would add that you shouldn’t disclose things to someone if it is likely to hurt them.
A lot depends on exactly how he sinned against someone.

 

[KD8TZC]

A lot depends on exactly how he sinned against someone.

I think this is important. I know in many of the 12 step programs, they tell you that you need to make amends for your wrongdoings to others, but one of the caveats, is you don’t do anything that might harm that other person. In other words, if you telling them that you are sorry will cause them emotional grief, then keep it in the confessional only.

If though I was rude to my spouse, and I went to confession and confessed my sin to the Priest, I think it might also be a good idea to tell my wife that I am sorry for being rude and that I love her and I should not have done this.

john

 

[MacQ]

I think this is important. I know in many of the 12 step programs, they tell you that you need to make amends for your wrongdoings to others, but one of the caveats, is you don’t do anything that might harm that other person. In other words, if you telling them that you are sorry will cause them emotional grief, then keep it in the confessional only.

If though I was rude to my spouse, and I went to confession and confessed my sin to the Priest, I think it might also be a good idea to tell my wife that I am sorry for being rude and that I love her and I should not have done this.

john

Yes, just so.
If you were rude to your wife, she would know it, and you should apologize.
However…the OP asked about having sinned against someone who doesn’t know it…which implies something else.

 

[EasterJoy]

There is not one automatically “right” answer. The question to ask yourself is this: What good do you hope to accomplish by telling your victim about your offense against them? What additional harm is realistically possible?

What you don’t want to do is to confess to them in order to make yourself feel better or to make your victim hold you in higher esteem, but by doing so actually harming your victim even more. Sometimes you can know that your victim will put some of the blame on himself or herself. Sometimes you know your victim would rather not know. Sometimes you know that your victim will consider hiding the offense to be a second and more serious offense than the first one.