SPLIT: Would it have been better to have not gone to Mass?

[Bpinoy730]

My brother recovered fine, other than I few missing chunks of flesh He finished fixing his motorcycle last night and gave my mom back hers.

My car has yet to be recovered, so I bought a new used one…

My issue with said priest is still unresolved, as our schedules seem to not be in my favor. I’ll continue to work on that.

And yes I do see the irony in the priest seeming to be the only person distracted. Only time will tell if I’ve learned my session and mend my sinful ways…

 

[Hadrianus]

The obligation to attend mass is a serious one, but not an absolute one. For a sufficiently serious reason one may miss mass, or be inattentive during it. Car theft sounds pretty serious to me.

As for the priest, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Anyone can have a bad day or be in an off mood and can over react. I am afraid that priests have to put up with a lot of cellphone activity at mass these days, and become understandably annoyed. But this time he jumped to conclusions and made a mistake. We are all human after all. This was an unfortunate misunderstanding, and I suspect the priest will realize it, if you get the chance to talk to him.

 

[quiet52]

OP, I hope that through prayer you can work your way past the humiliation of being denied the Eucharist, and replace it with a resolve to be ever more reverent during Mass.

BTW it is not a sin to not receive the Eucharist during Mass.

 

[cat5wired]

PIBoy, So glad to hear you have substitute wheels and that you didn’t lose your vehicle AND your sibling on the same day! WHEW! I’m glad you can laugh a little about your scenario.

Back to the Fr. at your Mass: I have heard some priests say they have a terrible time looking out over the congregation and seeing all the irreverance during Mass. [Like you said: gum, late arrival, early exit, talking, cell phones ringing, sexy clothes, food, and more.] This I pass on because it might help you forgive your priest for your humiliation. Maybe yours just got past his frustration level . Also, you said there might be a language barrier, so maybe if he is somewhat new to this country he might not have fully understood what you said about the car being stolen. Maybe you are lucky he didn’t send a runner down to you in the vestibule to turn your cell phone off, or run down himself and toss your cellphone into the holy water fountain!

BTW, I know some priests/deacons who will not refuse Communion even when they feel the person is not “disposed” (prepared to receive) or maybe not Catholic. Honestly, THAT I don’t get. Communion is tooooo special a “glue” to give it out like Monopoly money.

If it ever happens again where you get refused Communion, I hope you will make a “spiritual communion”. For me I’ve found that sometimes, missing out on Communion makes me thank God all the more for His sacrifice. Hope this is not too holy a thought for you… Thanks for the update on your status…

 

[Rence]

I was almost the last person in line for communion. As I put my hands out he refused to get me communion, and gave me a lecture instead. He said he had been watching me texting all through mass and did the hand movements and all. I have like 10 million issues going on in my life right now and this priest doesn’t even know me. Last week I lost my work clothes and all my ID after my “heavy-duty” backpack split open on the highway; that is the kind of random junk I’m dealing with. Mass and communion are one of the few real consistent parts of my life. I need them to make it through the week.

I feel like I got singled out by the priest. I see people chewing gum, coming in late and leaving early, wearing “disrespectful” clothes, texting in the pew, leaving phones on, hear them ring, see kids like 10 years old eating, talking, ppl wearing hats, etc…a zillion things.I was the only one who got refused communion. I got tsk tsked in front of everyone by a priest who spent the entire mass watching me. He had no clue what I was doing and he still felt fit to judge me not worthy of communion in my time of crisis. Would it be better if I missed mass and stayed home? Can a priest or person be in the state of grace and receive communion while judging someone? He just assumed what I was doing and my lack of involvement and discipline. he didn’t know or ask what I was doing. I could of been looking at the readings online, or watching a youtube video of the readings/homily. Yeah, I might have some hokey excuses, but I feel so is getting denied communion based on his very few facts of me standing in the very back, checking my phone after getting my car stolen.

How am I supposed to feel, what was I supposed to do?

Wow, what a mess. I hope things get better for you. There are certainly times in one’s life when everything happens all at the same time (or close to that) and leaves one feeling all discombobulated. I personally think you really needed 45min to an hour to just sit and pray but I know that’s not always possible when you’re in the middle of a bunch of messes.

IMOHO, you weren’t in the right frame of mind celebrate Mass, and though you tried to physically be there, your mind just wasn’t there. If you couldn’t NOT stay away from your phone, then you didn’t need to be there. I think you could have waited to do some of the things you were doing in the back of the Church, and I’m sure other things couldn’t wait. For example, I personally think getting texts from your brother or his caregivers regarding his condition would be acceptable. The other stuff can wait until Mass is over.

If I were you, I wouldn’t have gone to Mass if I couldn’t at the very least stop what was going on in the world outside of Church and pray. I don’t think I personally could have paid attention to Mass until the Consecration, but I know I could have stayed off my phone and prayed. If I couldn’t do that, I would have talked to the priest privately after Mass, tell him what was going on, and ask him for confession (if he thought it was a sin to miss Mass under your messy circumstances. I personally don’t, but I’m not a priest) and would have received Communion then. I know you said you don’t know this priest. But I do know a priest who would give me Communion if I went to him and asked him. And I know many priests who would have given me Communion after Mass if I would have gone to him and told him your story and asked for Communion.

IMOHO that priest didn’t handle the situation well. IMOHO his actions were arrogant and hateful. I can see him denying you Communion with a, “See me directly after Mass”. But not mimicking you and belittling you in public. That was just rude. He was probably just mad. Though, I have to say, seeing someone pacing at the back of Church and texting is not normal behavior and what you’re describing is indicative of anxiety. If I saw what you described at the back of Church, I would assume something was wrong. So I think he should have been a bit more compassionate and given you the benefit of the doubt by speaking to you after Mass and giving you a chance to explain youself before determining if you needed a lecture/Confession or some prayers. But that’s just me and my little part of the world. I’ve never seen a priest do that, and wouldn’t like a priest who would do such a thing as what you described. That’s not normal either, but priests are human like everyone else and have their days.