Spoke too soon

[Veronica97]

For the last couple of weeks my scrupulosity has lessened. I finally began to feel a sense of peace and a right conscience–that I was right with the Lord. I started to use my rational mind in order to decide whether to receive the Eucharist or not. I’ve told several people this–maybe I spoke too soon? Because yesterday I thought of an unconfessed mortal sin from years ago (which led me to think of MORE sins and now it’s all spiraling out of control again.) Now before anyone says to speak to my confessor–I do plan to go to confession on Saturday and discuss this with him. But I need some help in determining exactly what to say/do. One year ago I had a reversion experience and started going to Confession regularly and trying to form a correct conscience by learning all I could about the Faith (which I had neglected to do for the first 14 years after my baptism and confirmation). I hadn’t been to confession in 7 or 8 years (and had only gone maybe a few times in the years before that) and I made the best one I could make after all that time. Then I started going every 1-5 weeks, depending upon my needs. Well, on one of these occasions I had made up a small list of mortal sins that I had forgotten to confess in earlier sessions. I confess face to face so the priest knew that I had written them down and was prepared to confess them. He asked if I had deliberately concealed them in previous confessions. I said “no” (which was the truth). He said he would listen to them if I wanted to confess them, but that it wasn’t necessary–that they were already forgiven. I smiled and said, “okay” and I didn’t confess them. He said sometimes in our youth we commit sins of grave matter but we only realize later on as we grow in our faith how bad they are–that they may not have been mortal sins for us at the time we committed them. But now I am thinking that they really may have been mortal sins because the problem is: I may have known the church taught these were serious sins, but at the time I thought the church was “wrong” on certain things and didn’t think I needed to obey them. Thus, I may still have been culpable for not learning about my Faith and not obeying the authority of the Church. So I am thinking I need to discuss this with my confessor. The problem is I just keep thinking of more and more sins and more and more issues and I fear it will never end. I have also started to doubt the validity of my marriage convalidation AGAIN, even though my parish priest told me last fall that everything was fine. Only now I am reading more about it and I’m starting to think of more issues that could have invalidated my marriage that I didn’t discuss with the priest. Another issue is that I confessed a sin and the priest didn’t say anything about making restitution but now I’ve read that willful failure to make restitution is a mortal sin. I want to just leave it to the Lord in good faith and forget about it, but I am afraid of damning my soul. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

 

[triumphguy]

Words of wisdom?

If/when you go to confession and you confess a sin and the priest says nothing specific about the sin, but gives you absolution you are ABSOLVED! End off story.

Do you have a spiritual director? If you are scrupulous you need one to help you get through all this.

Learn to breath!

 

[JackVk]

I am a fellow scrupulosity sufferer. Allow me to say this:

Unless you would not hesitate for even a nanosecond to swear on a stack of Bibles before the all-truthful God that you committed a mortal sin WITHOUT ANY INKLING OF DOUBT WHATSOEVER…
…you have not committed a mortal sin.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

For the last couple of weeks my scrupulosity has lessened. I finally began to feel a sense of peace and a right conscience–that I was right with the Lord. I started to use my rational mind in order to decide whether to receive the Eucharist or not. I’ve told several people this–maybe I spoke too soon? Because yesterday I thought of an unconfessed mortal sin from years ago (which led me to think of MORE sins and now it’s all spiraling out of control again.) Now before anyone says to speak to my confessor–I do plan to go to confession on Saturday and discuss this with him. But I need some help in determining exactly what to say/do. One year ago I had a reversion experience and started going to Confession regularly and trying to form a correct conscience by learning all I could about the Faith (which I had neglected to do for the first 14 years after my baptism and confirmation). I hadn’t been to confession in 7 or 8 years (and had only gone maybe a few times in the years before that) and I made the best one I could make after all that time. Then I started going every 1-5 weeks, depending upon my needs. Well, on one of these occasions I had made up a small list of mortal sins that I had forgotten to confess in earlier sessions. I confess face to face so the priest knew that I had written them down and was prepared to confess them. He asked if I had deliberately concealed them in previous confessions. I said “no” (which was the truth). He said he would listen to them if I wanted to confess them, but that it wasn’t necessary–that they were already forgiven. I smiled and said, “okay” and I didn’t confess them. He said sometimes in our youth we commit sins of grave matter but we only realize later on as we grow in our faith how bad they are–that they may not have been mortal sins for us at the time we committed them. But now I am thinking that they really may have been mortal sins because the problem is: I may have known the church taught these were serious sins, but at the time I thought the church was “wrong” on certain things and didn’t think I needed to obey them. Thus, I may still have been culpable for not learning about my Faith and not obeying the authority of the Church. So I am thinking I need to discuss this with my confessor. The problem is I just keep thinking of more and more sins and more and more issues and I fear it will never end. I have also started to doubt the validity of my marriage convalidation AGAIN, even though my parish priest told me last fall that everything was fine. Only now I am reading more about it and I’m starting to think of more issues that could have invalidated my marriage that I didn’t discuss with the priest. Another issue is that I confessed a sin and the priest didn’t say anything about making restitution but now I’ve read that willful failure to make restitution is a mortal sin. I want to just leave it to the Lord in good faith and forget about it, but I am afraid of damning my soul. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

You need to talk to your priest or another priest outside the confessional, a private conference and you can bring all your questions with you. The people here are not really qualified to give you that kind of advice. One thing you must know, you cannot commit a sin after the fact. True you may have been mistaken about a past event or situation. It may have been culpable ignorance or not. Sometimes only God knows for sure and that is how you have to confess the sin. It will be forgiven. Also, restitution must be made any time we hurt our neighbor by theft of goods, money, or reputation. That is in so far as it is humanly possible. Talk that over with your priest too. He can also help you on the marriage questions. See, it is a lot better not to get into these spots. Prayers!!

:sad_yes: