Spouse Dislikes Me

[choose_to_love]

Penguin pop,

If communications styles are part of the problem, maybe you could look in to this: prepinc.com/shopping/productdetail.asp?id=FVS-DVD. The communications piece, the speaker-listener technique, can really make a difference. I’ve heard relatively good things about the rest of the program, but am not really familiar with the other parts.

 

[Sheeniac]

I think not letting things go ‘back to normal’ is a good idea because what you think of as normal must be very painful for her. It seems like her trust needs to be won back, and as someone else suggested, it will take time and a lot of effort.

I suggest starting individual counseling, and not even mentioning couples counseling yet. At a certain point, you might suggest it to her as a way to make the situation better for everyone. I think that it might show her that you realize you need to change things in yourself (because we can only really change ourselves).

Good luck!

 

[whatevergirl]

Praying that things stay on the up and up with you both, penguin! Good to see that things are improving…God bless!!

 

[Blind_Soldier]

OP,

PS
Also, sigh up for a weekly holy hour of adoration. Almost all of my revelations about fixing my situation with my wife happened during adoration.

Your subject title immediately caught my attention because I am in the same situation…It’s been going like this for more than a year. My wife was the most sensitive and soft hearted girl in the early years of marriage and now she has turn so cold…believing that being cold and insensitive, I’ll never be able to hurt her again.

Now she work 7 days a week and comes home when it’s dark (9pm).

We have 2 wonderful kids and it’s indeed a miracle they are spared from any arguments at home. Peace is indeed a gift from God. That being said, there are times when it is necessary to rock the boat. Like the time she wrote a intimate letter to a colleague or buying bikinis for my 8 year old.

We no longer pray as a family and I usually take the kids to mass alone because she choose to work on sundays or she goes to mass alone.

I know the only way through this is patience, prayers and acts of kindness and charity to my wife. Nothing else will work. I now pray the rosary 3 times a day on weekdays, I go for daily mass and I am slowly learning what is the meaning of Christian love.

I will pray for you.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Good day Penguin, I am sorry to hear about your situation…Sorry to hear what you are going through and I pray that GOD may guide your wife and hold you close to His heart…

I was in a situation like that once…with my then husband now exhusband… I was in a terrible car accident and the scars left on me are still with me, not jut emotional but major physical…My then husband told me he couldn’t see me as a woman, his wife nor his woman any more and didn’t want to be with me… It was devastating and I did everything possible to stay with him, humbled myself completely even humilated myself for him, all the while I hated myself and hated my life… I was unhappy and ended up leaving him…

That’s not always the best way to do things or end things…You seem to still have hope and you must work hard for your marriage…The best advice I can give is for you to speak with your priest if you haven’t all ready. Go as a couple and try and get help through him… Take a vacation or marriage retreat I have heard they work miracles…

GOD bless and good luck!