My husband is a lapsed convert. He left the faith after a major stress-breakdown around 13 years ago. I go the Mass every day alone.
You are right that you need to take responsibility for yourself…and in the end you wife’s salvation may depend upon the intercession of your prayers and faithfulness.
I ask the Lord to help your wife with whatever it is that makes her despair for her soul. This is a serious matter, and if possible she needs to deal with this despair that is coming between her and trust in God’s mercy. And I wonder if she is suffering some degree of depression…
I adapted a prayer I wrote for my husband, but you can perhaps decide on a particular prayer you will offer daily for her, however brief.
I know it’s very painful.
Prayer for unbelieving Spouse
Our God, through the love and merit of Jesus and Mary, I offer You all my spouse’s good deeds, sacrifices and trials, in prayer for her salvation, fulfilment, happiness and peace. Foster her as Your own child, for if she truly knew You, she would be a loving, obedient daughter.
I offer every frustration and disappointment, all sadness and suffering of her life, together with her pleasures, satisfactions, and achievements. I offer her to You, united in that terrible hour that Jesus cried out to You, “My God, my God, why have You abandoned me?” Thus may her sufferings be powerful prayer for souls. In Your mercy, please unite her with the Mystical Body so that even without her knowledge her life is a living prayer pleasing in Your sight.
If in any way, I fail to convey Your love to her, or I do not enrich her life with warm gifts of my nature, please forgive me and heal her. Guide me to give her the love, joy and goodness that you have united us to share, and lead her to love me freely and honestly.
Please forgive and overcome her cynicism and doubt. Open her to Your Spirit. Let her experience Your love in her life, so that she enters into sacramental faith and dedicated Christian ministry. Grant her resurrection with Your Son Jesus.
God bless and give you faith and faithfulness.
Your sister Trishie