Spouse

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CuriousInIL:
Seeing your spouse nude–always appropriate?, always inappropriate?, or depends? (why and on what?)
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We were raised in a modest home - girls didn’t see boys nude & vice-versa. So when I was a little girl I didn’t have the typical young girl’s dream of getting married 'cause I didn’t want to see my husband without anything on. :eek: I also thought it was a marriage requirement to be there when your spouse went to the bathroom.:rotfl:

Well, I finally got over all that 'cause here I am married for 15 years. And guess what? There is no such marriage requirement (the bathroom one that is).
 
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byzmelkite:
Well, that’s debateable. In general, the Church fathers saw spontaneous passions as a result of the Fall. That is why Adam and Eve became ashamed after they saw each other naked. Prior to the Fall, there would have been no spontaneous lust, but only rational desire.
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so what is the difference between acceptable sexual desire and lust according to you? There is no difference? By rational you mean the sole intention to have children?
 
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Ham1:
The passions that such a viewing “stirs” up aren’t lustful. They are there by God’s design to ensure that the marriage is a fruitful and holy one.
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Thank you!
 
I guess the question would be: Is there ever a time when this could be inappropriate, sinful, for the other spouse to be doing?

For example: Anytime this could lead into a sinful action.
 
I’m not married yet. However, I couldn’t see how seeing your spouse naked, could be ever seen as inappropriate. I also don’t see how a wife could give their husband sinful ideas, being that they are already seen as one in the eyes of God. It’s perfectly okay to be attracted to your wife.
 
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Brit:
I’m not married yet. However, I couldn’t see how seeing your spouse naked, could be ever seen as inappropriate. I also don’t see how a wife could give their husband sinful ideas, being that they are already seen as one in the eyes of God. It’s perfectly okay to be attracted to your wife.
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As long as one doesn’t lust excessively.
 
A person should not guard their body and restrict their spouse from seeing them naked out of fear that the other will lust. If this is done, it then leads to not sharing their entire self.

Nakedness equates with openness and it is hard to withhold part of yourself when naked. I think many discussions would go better and unresolved arguements would be fewer if both husband and wife were naked during the discussion.

It is hard to hide from the truth or to not be vulnerable when naked. Being vulnerable is necessary when trusting your spouse.

If the only time you are naked with your spouse is prior to and during sex, then the nakedness is frequently solely associated with sex. I don’t think that is how we are to experience the Sacrament of Marriage.
 
I would recommend the book “Love & Responsibility” by Karol Wojtyla (John Paul II). He talks about nakedness in marriage on pages 190 & 191. The book is very deep and insightful but if you can wade through it, the treasure is immense.

JPII has a very enlightened (but traditional) view of nakedness, chasity and modesty. He also talks about shame and shamelessness.

It is important to understand all these concepts together to appreciate nakedness in marriage and to avoid making it about viewing the other as an object for use. In short nakedness in marriage is good but we have to understand the whole picture.
 
I think when people are talking about lust, they aren’t talking about a husband wanting to be with his wife (or viceversa), but a husband looking at his wife as an object. This is a fear because of the way people are objectified in our culture, especially with wide-spread porn. A husband should never lust for his wife. A husband should desire his wife.

But presumably, by the time you’ve gotten married to someone, you should know them well enough that you know this isn’t a problem. 👍
 
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MariaGorettiGrl:
A husband should never lust for his wife. A husband should desire his wife.
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How is one to discern the differences? (real concrete suggestions would be appreciated as opposed to the more philosophical “do not treat your spouse as an object” which, IMO is just as difficult to determine as the difference between lust and desire.)
 
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CuriousInIL:
Seeing your spouse nude–always appropriate?, always inappropriate?, or depends? (why and on what?)
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: You’re having a little fun with us right?!
 
I have no problem with seeing my wife nude I think she has a beautiful birthday suit. I enjoy it, it makes me happy and I smile and thank God. She is no supermodel but I think she way better looking. Last I checked, as was briefly mentioned earlier the two shall become one. Thus it should be okay. Either that or I will now wear clothes in the shower. Lust for anything is never right or correct - its a distorted desire, LUST is self serving. Desire can be good or bad depending on the “thing” desired and why. Thus a desire for sex with your spouse can be good or bad. Oh and are we not made in God’s image and God did become man - thus I would say the body is good inherently but now stained due to sin - LUST.
 
I agree that it would be innapropriate if the person doing the looking was seeing the other as an object or if they had been asked not to look (in a serious tone). It is all about respect I think. I’m not married yet and I am having to deal with the thought of someone seeing me nude, so please try not to scare me to much!!! I dont want to have to start worrying whether or not I should be looking at my husband when he’s naked.
 
Migurl I must say you might want to think about it. Hey I hate my nobby knees. My wife … (depends on the day). Nun of us are perfect. But never worry about seeing a spouse naked just always thank and pray for help, hey they (spouse)are most likely alive. And if your “lucky” ie sex, hope you did the best you could for your spouse. When I give myself over for her its beautiful - a sacrifice of sorts but as self giving- surrender the self. PS over time beauty does fade, however the concept of beauty does change, hopefully your love only grows, it should grow, as I must say.
 
I am just a little nervous. I just don’t want to be worrying that I am being sinful if I admire my husbands body. I’ve seen him shirtless before and I know that since we are not married I have to keep my thougths in check, but I shouldn’t have to do that when I am married, should I?
 
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migurl:
I am just a little nervous. I just don’t want to be worrying that I am being sinful if I admire my husbands body. I’ve seen him shirtless before and I know that since we are not married I have to keep my thougths in check, but I shouldn’t have to do that when I am married, should I?
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All of us have to heep our thoughts in check, including spouses, but as a wife it will not be wrong to physically appreciate your husband’s body, nor will it be wrong for him to appreciate yours. Just the opposite, as long as this appreciation is within a proper context of your appreciation for each other as whole persons, this physical attraction is very good.
 
Wow I would sure like to think it is appropriate LOL as I’m never done staring at my hubby’s body when he is nude!! 😛
 
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