Spouses receiving Eucharist together

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Anyone see this in their parish??----
As a wife or husband come forward to receive Eucharist, she/he steps slightly to one side to make room for the other spouse and both stand side-by-side to receive Eucharist together from the priest/deacon or EM. What is the purpose of this and it is acceptable??
 
Greetings Church,

My husband and I walk up side by side and receive Holy Communion together as you describe.

For us, it started about 20 years ago, when we went on a World Wide Marriage Encounter weekend. This was one of the greatest and most life changing weekends of our 49 yr marriage. If you don’t know anything about it, I suggest you do a search.

When we entered the Sacrament of Marriage we became one. It is in this unity, we receive Jesus together.

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I don’t see any problem with this as long as their doing so does not cause some logistical problem (blocking or bumping into someone else). Other than issues of courtesy, I do not know of any theological or liturgical issue with this.
 
One is going to have to receive before the other no matter how you do it so other than the symbol of standing side by side what is the point?
 
I think it’s a distraction to the priest, to the people behind the couple, and the couple themselves. It would appear they are thinking more of each other than Christ at that moment. I haven’t seen it done, and I hope I don’t.
 
I agree with DetriotSue about it being more about each other than God. THis is a moment that should be solely focused on Him alone. I do wonder if these people make a sign of reverance before recieving the Eucharist? If they dont, then they sure should.

I dont see any reason for spouses to recieve the Eucharist together. If someone has a defense or reasoning, then please enlighten me.
 
Receiving the Eucharist is a joyful occasion and I can see how spouses might want to witness each other receiving the Eucharist to witness the joy in each other. When Jesus served the twelve He didn’t make them line up, or go to seperate rooms, they shared the meal together. I personally don’t see how this can be a problem. I will usually wait for my wife to receive and then walk back to our seats with her. I dont’ do this out of a need or want to watch her receive, but out of respect for my wife. I even open the car door for her whenever possible. I would say that I do get a sense of joy in seeing her receive, much in the same way a parent would when their child receives for the first time. I will also say that I still go back to my seat, kneel and spend time in private prayer with God. I think most people who disagree with this whole thing are simply unfamiliar with it, and question it. I have learned a lot in the last few years, and the one thing I have learned that I know all of us need to learn is that we are not liturgical police. We need to keep to ourselves. If we are busy watching what others are doing, then there is a problem. Afterall, where is our focus if we aren’t watching Jesus during this most important part of the mass? When I am waiting in line to receive, I am not looking around to see what others are doing, I am busy thinking how unworthy I really am, and how thankful I am that Jesus still calls me to the the table.

:bowdown2:

:amen:
 
Good Morning Church

RichT, that was a very nice reply.
My husband and I have been going to Communion like this for so many years I don’t hardly think about it.
When we receive the Body, most often Father serves me first. I wait until Al has received and we take Jesus into our bodies together. This is only one more reminder that Jesus is the center of our lives. I doubt if Jesus gets offended.
We are both Extrodinary Ministers and over the years, have given Communion to many couples this way. Never has been a distraction for us.
If you choose to make Holy Communion a private thing between God and you, that is great.

Uh, someone asked if we showed some sign before receiving communion… haven’t a clue what you are talking about. Please explain.
 
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robertaf:
Uh, someone asked if we showed some sign before receiving communion… haven’t a clue what you are talking about. Please explain.
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I think what was meant by “showed some sign before receiving communion” is in regard to the instruction in the GIRM to bow as a sign of reverence before receiving our Lord in Holy Communion.

I personally do not like it or think it is appropriate for a husband and wife to walk up the aisle holding hands (as I have seen done several times) and receive “together”. I mean no disrespect whatsoever, but I think it is unrealistic to expect the rest of the assembly to “mind their own business” when the Mass is the communal prayer. What we do, no matter what it is or what our intention is, effects all of us. We all make up the Body of Christ. We are supposed to be unified - and that’s probably why people get so saddened and upset over the many liturgical abuses, etc.

I hate to say it, but it is a distraction to those of us who have never seen it done or don’t know why it’s being done when the rest of the assembly is not doing the same thing or have not been instructed to do it.
  • clementine
 
Spouses are made one by their Sacrament of Marriage. I have always thought they should be one in this Sacrament also. God has joined them; far be it for me to separate them.

At Easter Vigil when we have First Communion for those newly entered into the Church I always invite their Catholic spouses to receive with them.
 
Good Evening Church

It has never been our intention to offend anyone. I will, indeed speak to my husband about it and bring it to our pastor for his direction.

How very strange that after all these years it would come to this.

I want to thank my brothers and sisters for bringing this to our attention.

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clementine:
We are supposed to be unified - and that’s probably why people get so saddened and upset over the many liturgical abuses, etc.

I hate to say it, but it is a distraction to those of us who have never seen it done or don’t know why it’s being done when the rest of the assembly is not doing the same thing or have not been instructed to do it.
  • clementine
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I don’t see how you can clasify this as a liturgical abuse, the liturgy is not being changed. As far as the disraction, I will say it again, we as individuals shouldn’t be busy wondering what the rest of the community is doing. Nor is this the appropriate time to be watching everyone else. I am not saying this is none of your business, I’m saying that we aren’t the liturgical police. I was baptised in an Assemblies of God church and ultimately left because I got tired of everyone worrying about what everyone else was either doing or not doing. All I’m saying is that it is not up to us as individuals to criticize anyone about the way they worship. I must say that I am almost sorry I found this forum, because there are so many here who can’t even carry on a decent discussion without talking down about what someone is doing in their church. As far as I am concerned my marriage is also a community, so my wife and I will continue to receive together. And believe me when I say I won’t be looking around to see if your watching us.

:tiphat:
 
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RichT:
I don’t see how you can clasify this as a liturgical abuse, the liturgy is not being changed. As far as the disraction, I will say it again, we as individuals shouldn’t be busy wondering what the rest of the community is doing. Nor is this the appropriate time to be watching everyone else. I am not saying this is none of your business, I’m saying that we aren’t the liturgical police. I was baptised in an Assemblies of God church and ultimately left because I got tired of everyone worrying about what everyone else was either doing or not doing. All I’m saying is that it is not up to us as individuals to criticize anyone about the way they worship. I must say that I am almost sorry I found this forum, because there are so many here who can’t even carry on a decent discussion without talking down about what someone is doing in their church. As far as I am concerned my marriage is also a community, so my wife and I will continue to receive together. And believe me when I say I won’t be looking around to see if your watching us.

:tiphat:
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But you certainly must agree that something that can be perceived as an abuse could give rise to scandal. I still believe that behavior to be inappropriate for Mass, just as I disapprove of PDAs, and scanty clothing during Mass. These actions scream, "LOOK AT ME!" We are all still human - we will continue to be distracted. I spoke with a deacon friend of ours about this (my DH has never experienced it), and he said it really flustered him. It crowded the area at the altar, and he didn’t know who to serve first. It’s a cute idea, but really, can’t you save your flag-flying for after Mass? Our friend said that he talked to the couple after Mass, and apparently it is something that was propagated in Worldwide Marriage Encounter several years ago.
 
Good Morning Church

Good Morning Detroit Sue

I tended to listen to you when you said receiving Communion as a married couple is distracting to others who do not understand.

However, you went to far. When you say it appeared to be an abuse and hinted at leading to scandal, you really made me uncomfortable.

How, in this day and age, can you say such a thing about fellow Christians?

Do you know what I think is scandalous? I think gossiping is scandalous. I think folks who continually look for the splinter in someone elses eye is scandalous. I think folks who are gawking at how others are receiving Our Blessed Lord and not in deepest awe of Him is scandalous. I think folks who are continually running around saying, “I am so glad I am not like those hypocrits over there…” is scandalous. And so did Jesus.

I have changed my mind about worrying about this. My husband is 74 years old, and we have been married almost 50 years. He has never in his life been accused of such a thing. I have cared for him through diabetes, glaucoma and a 5 way heart bi-pass. This year, he cared for me through losing part of my lung to lung cancer and 7 weeks of radiation. We loved and nurtured each other when we lost 2 babies, lost our parents and many other loved ones. We share happiness and sadness.

I will not allow someone who finds joy in nitpicking to spoil this lovely time when together we receive Jesus in the Most Holy of Sacraments. Our marriage is a Sacrament. There is nothing but grace in this for us. I am so very sorry you cannot share our joy but find fault in it.

Scandal, indeed. I find that offensive and hurtful.
 
Good afternoon Church

Good afternoon Detroit Sue,

I find that I do owe you an apology. I made a very personal remark to you that I shouldn’t have by saying you take joy in nitpicking. That was unfair and very unkind.

The things I find scandalous that I mentioned, were not aimed at you personally. I stand by them. I see far too much of these things in the Church.

I was angry and hurt and I should never have said what I did about you finding joy in anything.

I apolgize to you and to anyone who is reading my posts and ask for your forgivness.
 
Robertaf
I am inspired by the love, devotion and charity that you have shared! Your love and devotion for the church and your husband must serve as a beacon of truth and light in your parish…I applaud you and thank you!
Peace be with you
Middlefork
 
As a loving and devoted wife, I can certainly understand why a couple would want to receive the body, blood, sould and divinity of our Lord together, especially when it has been promoted by Worldwide Marriage Encounter. But, at the same time, something inside me “feels” uncomfortable. Is the motivation something unique to the individual as opposed to what God has taught all of us through the Holy Spirit?

Unfortunately, there are lots of practices that come about nowadays that we are finding don’t belong in Mass. Holding hands during the Lord’s Prayer comes to mind immediately as an example. Why, just today, the priest told us to sit during the Opening Prayers and the Confetor. There is a lot of personal interpretation of Tradition that may not be doing us any harm, but when looked at collectively, it isn’t doing us any good either.
 
My husband and I have also been receiving together for as long as I can remember. The Minister gives Holy Communion to me first, then to my husband. Many other couples in our parish also do this. I’m an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and they approach me in this way.

According to a recent rubric change, all who receive Holy Communion make a slight bow before receiving. This is done before receiving the Consecrated Bread as well as the Precious Blood.

I might add that our Pastor breaks the Host (in my hand) and gives half to me and half to my husband. For those couples who do not approach together, Father still breaks the host for the first spouse, and gives half to each. He does give a quick look to make sure the spouse is the next one to receive. This is a privilege he reserves for himself; the Extraordinary Ministers are not permitted to do this. I cannot recall the exact words he uses but this is close: “As you share your life together, may you share the Body of Christ.” To which we answer, “Amen”.
 
Hello All,

First time here, but felt I needed to say something on this topic. I believe our parish has taken this over the top. The man and wife give each other the consecrated Host! This is what happens when something new is introduced without authority, maybe? Others will take it further than was originally intended.
God bless you all. Hope I find my way back here again.
Buckshot:wave:
 
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Buckshot:
Hello All,

First time here, but felt I needed to say something on this topic. I believe our parish has taken this over the top. The man and wife give each other the consecrated Host! This is what happens when something new is introduced without authority, maybe? Others will take it further than was originally intended.
God bless you all. Hope I find my way back here again.
Buckshot:wave:
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Excellent post. Thanks.
 
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