Spouses receiving Eucharist together

[GrammaJ]

The man and wife give each other the consecrated Host! ]

I can appreciate this. I have not seen the Consecrated Host being given to each other but the Precious Blood being offered from one spouse to another. Not accepted in my parish. The Minister of the Cup (Bread) ministers to each communicant.

 

[clementine]

Dear Robertat,
I want to thank you very much for coming back and “clearning the air” after you left your reaction to DetroitSue. That was classy. Thank you for being such a great forum-mate.

Dear RichT,
I never said spouses receiving together was a liturgical abuse. As I stated in my post, it was my personal thought. I never meant to get you so upset. My only hope is that you, as my brother in Christ, will point things out to me that I am doing to cause others confusion. It’s our job. (In this day and age with the “anything goes” mentallity, we need to look out for one another!) There’s a huge difference between judging someone/s (which I did not) and making note of something of concern. The only reason I jumped into this forum is because I wanted people to know that it is distracting to me and perhaps others. I never demanded that you all stop. I will say, however, that I was super appreciative of Robertat for taking what we all posted to heart. That’s the point in “helping” one another - and having these forums in the first place.

It’s obvious that we are all in love with our Lord and His Church. We wouldn’t be here defending Them if we weren’t passionate about the Truth. I think it’s really easy to mis-interpret what is meant when we are communicating through computers so I will certainly do my part from now on to not jump to conclusions, but instead trust that we are all in this together: desiring to know, to love and to serve Christ as best we can in the Fullness of His Truth.

Blessings to you all-

• clementine

 

[RichT]

Detroit Sue:

. It’s a cute idea, but really, can’t you save your flag-flying for after Mass?

I doubt very much that these couples are doing this with the intention of waving flags, or to intentionally distract someone such as yourself. That is a bit of a stretch. Your right about one thing, we are humans, and we will be distracted. But how can anyone who is truly focused on Jesus be distracted at a time like the Eucharistic Rite? There was a homeless man who used to attend mass when I did, and he often spoke out loud due to a mental condition. At first I found it distraction, but then I realized it was only my selfishness and lack of focus on whats truly important that allowed me to be distracted. I also learned to stop focusing on problems, and to start focusing on solutions. I can also say that when there seems to be no solution, it doesn’t do me any good to continue letting those things bother me. It is usually time to move on. You are at choice here. You can either continue to let things such as this bother you, or you can simply find something better to focus your energy on. Something more positive.

 

[RichT]

clementine:

Dear RichT,
I never said spouses receiving together was a liturgical abuse. As I stated in my post, it was my personal thought. I never meant to get you so upset. My only hope is that you, as my brother in Christ, will point things out to me that I am doing to cause others confusion. It’s our job. (In this day and age with the “anything goes” mentallity, we need to look out for one another!) There’s a huge difference between judging someone/s (which I did not) and making note of something of concern. The only reason I jumped into this forum is because I wanted people to know that it is distracting to me and perhaps others. I never demanded that you all stop. I will say, however, that I was super appreciative of Robertat for taking what we all posted to heart. That’s the point in “helping” one another - and having these forums in the first place.

It’s obvious that we are all in love with our Lord and His Church. We wouldn’t be here defending Them if we weren’t passionate about the Truth. I think it’s really easy to mis-interpret what is meant when we are communicating through computers so I will certainly do my part from now on to not jump to conclusions, but instead trust that we are all in this together: desiring to know, to love and to serve Christ as best we can in the Fullness of His Truth.

Blessings to you all-

• clementine

Clementine, my frustration was not directed entirely at you, and I apologize for picking you to vent on. I am just really frustrated of reading all of the posts that “seem” to attack or ridicule what other’s are doing at mass. That’s not to say that you attacked or ridiculed anyone, it’s just that many others do indeed have no problem doing so. I come to these forums to hopefully find peaceful discussions in which I might be able to learn and deepen my understanding of church teaching, and maybe even make a friend or two. I am still a very new catholic and am very much still in learning mode. I have found a parish that I feel very comfortable at and yes it is on the liberal side. The priests, deacons, parishoners, and the rest are all very much in love with Christ. The liturgy is celebrated with the upmost respect and reverence. I have never seen as many parishoner’s involved in so many different ways as it is in my parish. It is to bad that we can’t learn to love each other the way we are commanded to. Again, my frustration was not directed at you. God Bless…

 

[Ham1]

GrammaJ:

My husband and I have also been receiving together for as long as I can remember. The Minister gives Holy Communion to me first, then to my husband. Many other couples in our parish also do this. I’m an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and they approach me in this way.

According to a recent rubric change, all who receive Holy Communion make a slight bow before receiving. This is done before receiving the Consecrated Bread as well as the Precious Blood.

I might add that our Pastor breaks the Host (in my hand) and gives half to me and half to my husband. For those couples who do not approach together, Father still breaks the host for the first spouse, and gives half to each. He does give a quick look to make sure the spouse is the next one to receive. This is a privilege he reserves for himself; the Extraordinary Ministers are not permitted to do this. I cannot recall the exact words he uses but this is close: “As you share your life together, may you share the Body of Christ.” To which we answer, “Amen”.

Although I am sure your priest means well, the words at communion are “The Body (Blood) of Christ.” They are not to be altered in any way. Your priest should really not be doing this as it is against the rubrics of the Mass.

Also, the breaking of the host in your hand would seem to be a problem. The priest can certainly break hosts so as to increase the number of hosts for distribution, but I am not sure why (or whether it is appropriate) he would try to “add” some other meaning to communion by changing the reception for married couples.

I hope this helps!

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Buckshot - Re The man and wife give each other the consecrated Host! The new instruction on the eucharist [R. S. I’ll never get it spelled right] specifically forbids this abuse at wedding masses. The prohibition applies to all masses. One must receive the host or chalice from a designated minister.

 

[Tedster]

RichT:

I don’t see how you can clasify this as a liturgical abuse, the liturgy is not being changed.

No offense RichT, but doesn’t liturgical abuse begin when we the lay people decide to change the way any portion of the Holy Mass is conducted? In my opinion, we then lead others to believe that we have the power to do as we want, whether it be holding hands at the “Our Father” or leaving Mass after Holy Communion. My thought is that my family and I will follow to a “T” the GIRM as best we can.

RichT:

As far as the disraction, I will say it again, we as individuals shouldn’t be busy wondering what the rest of the community is doing. Nor is this the appropriate time to be watching everyone else.

I cannot agree with you more on this point though!

In Christ Our King,

Ted

 

[Fidelis]

Buckshot:

Hello All,

First time here, but felt I needed to say something on this topic. I believe our parish has taken this over the top. The man and wife give each other the consecrated Host! This is what happens when something new is introduced without authority, maybe? Others will take it further than was originally intended.
God bless you all. Hope I find my way back here again.
Buckshot:wave:

ARRGGHH! I’ve seen this too, and it drives me nuts. No matter how wonderful your marriage is, no matter how much you’ve been through with your spouse, no matter how much you love each other, the Mass is *not * a place for public professions of love between couples; it is a communal act of worship that has prescribed elements for the very reason of deterring these types of innnovations.

 

[Journeyman]

GrammaJ:

My husband and I have also been receiving together for as long as I can remember. The Minister gives Holy Communion to me first, then to my husband. Many other couples in our parish also do this. I’m an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and they approach me in this way.

According to a recent rubric change, all who receive Holy Communion make a slight bow before receiving. This is done before receiving the Consecrated Bread as well as the Precious Blood.

I might add that our Pastor breaks the Host (in my hand) and gives half to me and half to my husband. For those couples who do not approach together, Father still breaks the host for the first spouse, and gives half to each. He does give a quick look to make sure the spouse is the next one to receive. This is a privilege he reserves for himself; the Extraordinary Ministers are not permitted to do this. I cannot recall the exact words he uses but this is close: “As you share your life together, may you share the Body of Christ.” To which we answer, “Amen”.

This is something I have never seen. NOW this seems like a liturgical abuse!! The GIRM specifically says that the minister of the Eucharist says “The Body of Christ”. To do and say what that priest is saying and doing do not seem acceptable. Anyone think it is ok??

 

[John_Higgins]

Robertaf,

Halfway through this thread, I wanted to holler out, “Don’t let your actions be dictated by a bunch of people you’ve never met!” But like most of the threads here, this worked out alright.

One thing my wife and I got to do when we were eucharistic ministers at our old parish was give the Eucharist to each other. How profound a feeling!

John

 

[Charliemac]

My first thought was I hope that they aren’t giving the Host to each other, but after reading a few of the posts that doesn’t seem to be the case. Receiving “together” as I have seen it described above seems to be a misplaced sense of prioity. It’s nice, but it’s not in keeping with the spirit of the Liturgy as I understand it. We should consider that the Eucharist is about the Christ, first last and always. I have been married twice, as my first wife passed away a few years ago. I recive the Eucharist daily (nearly) and I pray for her, and for my wife. But much as I love these two women it never occured to me to do as I’ve seen described. I don’t think it is an abuse of any sort, just a case of muddled prioities.
If the Spouses were to give each other the Eucharist, that would be an abuse. We must receive from a minister of Holy Communion. It would not even be appropriate if both the husband and wife were EM’s. The EM is deputed by the bishop of the diocese for a specific purpose, i.e to assist with the distribution of Holy Communion to the faithful where a need exists.
The most common abuse I have seen, and I’ve seen it all over, is for the Minister to say “Body (or Blood) of Christ, Jane or Harry”. I have seen priests do this not just EM’s. This is especially troubling.

As an EM, I often give Communion to my wife, and I do not look at here any differently, or smile or use her name. It simply isn’t the time for such conduct.

Charliemac

 

[robertaf]

Good Morning Church

Good Morning John Higgens
Thanks for the post. Yes, Al and I are EMs and we love it when we can give Holy Communion to each other.

I wonder if Jesus gets as up tight about all these “abuses” of rules as everyone else does. Guess I should go read my New Testament again. I had thought He had a thing about folks who put rules in front of love. Hmmm.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

robertaf:

I wonder if Jesus gets as up tight about all these “abuses” of rules as everyone else does. Guess I should go read my New Testament again. I had thought He had a thing about folks who put rules in front of love. Hmmm.

This is a protestant idea.

The Church was placed here by Christ. So to disobey the Church is to disobey Christ.

 

[Ivi]

GrammaJ:

My husband and I have also been receiving together for as long as I can remember. The Minister gives Holy Communion to me first, then to my husband. Many other couples in our parish also do this. I’m an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion and they approach me in this way.

According to a recent rubric change, all who receive Holy Communion make a slight bow before receiving. This is done before receiving the Consecrated Bread as well as the Precious Blood.

I might add that our Pastor breaks the Host (in my hand) and gives half to me and half to my husband. For those couples who do not approach together, Father still breaks the host for the first spouse, and gives half to each. He does give a quick look to make sure the spouse is the next one to receive. This is a privilege he reserves for himself; the Extraordinary Ministers are not permitted to do this. I cannot recall the exact words he uses but this is close: “As you share your life together, may you share the Body of Christ.” To which we answer, “Amen”.

Oh, my, my. . . we’ve digressed in too many ways . . . I’ve read through so many threads and see there are problems understanding what COMMUNION is about. And I can’t possibly come close to writing what-all it is, so bear with my brief, meager, and I’m sure insufficient summary. Communion is about UNITY, UNION, community becoming ONE in CHRIST. One bread, one body . . . it is not about Husband and Wife, it is not about MY Jesus, it is not about THIS parish or THIS diocese or THIS state or even THIS country!!! It is not about the Priest “giving privileges”. Communion is the culmination – the CLIMAX – of ALL the Faithful’s participation.

IT IS about the universality of the Body of Christ – ALL of us, EACH of us – those that have gone before us, those that are in Heaven, those awaiting purification, and those present at the moment of receiving becoming ONE – ONE BODY IN CHRIST. From Our Sunday Visitor’s Catholic Dictionary, “The intimacy between Christ and His Bride the Church is especially evident during this part of the Mass.” The Communion Rite, the Procession, is our “rehearsal” for our final judgment, our Eternal Home, when there is no such thing as marriage or liturgy. Do you see the importance of “active participation” and being fully engaged in all that Mass is?

There is much more to be said, but there are four parts to what our Catholic lives should be about: Prayer, Study, Community, and Service. Through these we grow daily.

 

[davy39]

We only have one couple at our church that does this. They stand behind each other in line and receive the Body of Christ seperately, but when they receive the Precious Blood, they stand side by side. I don’t see anything wrong with that. But no, they shouldn’t offer the Euchartist to each other under any circumstances. That is defininately an abuse and should be stopped by the priest.

 

[Tedster]

ByzCath:

This is a protestant idea.

The Church was placed here by Christ. So to disobey the Church is to disobey Christ.

Excellent point. And isn’t that the whole point of ridding ourselves of these “abuses”? To follow Christ’s example and to OBEY.

 

[robertaf]

Good Morning Church

Good Morning BysCath

Sorry,but I disagree with you. I was once a Protestant and have been a Catholic for 50 years.

If you mean, by obeying the Church, I must obey the folks who post here rather than my Bishop or Pastor, I refuse.

My husband and I have been going up to Communion together for years. We both worked for the Diocese, have served at Mass with several Bishops, and too many Priests to count. We were blessed to be chosen and trained to serve at Mass with the Holy Father when he was in Los Angeles. Never once, not a single time until I came to Catholic Answers have I ever heard anyone complain about receiving Communion together. In fact, Marriage Encounter was encouraged for married folks and religeous and it was very common to see this.

I am a certified teacher of Religion for all ages, have taught all ages and prepared groups for Sacraments. I have taught Church History and Bible History. All of this in the Catholic Church. I have worked directly for the Bishop in Ecumenism.

What I said is not Protestant, my brother, it is pure Catholic.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

robertaf:

Sorry,but I disagree with you. I was once a Protestant and have been a Catholic for 50 years.

If you mean, by obeying the Church, I must obey the folks who post here rather than my Bishop or Pastor, I refuse.

You can disagree but that doesn’t make you right. You can follow what your priest and bishop say, but that doesn’t make it right.

I will repeat what you said,

I wonder if Jesus gets as up tight about all these “abuses” of rules as everyone else does. Guess I should go read my New Testament again. I had thought He had a thing about folks who put rules in front of love. Hmmm.

Now for what is wrong with this statement.

You appear to be saying that the abuses in the liturgy are just the breaking of rules that Christ does not care about. Well those rules were made by Christ’s Church so they do matter.

Then you say you will read the Bible, specifically the New Testament, this appears that you still hold to some form of Sola Scriputra. We also have Tradition, which these rules you want to dismiss so easily are part of.

Then you add this thing about love, as if those who want to follow the what the Church teaches are somehow against love.

Love has nothing to do with this… The Eucharist is where we show our communion as a Church, not where we show our spousal relationship.

You focus is off.

 

[robertaf]

Greetings again,

With all due respect, the fact that you say it doesn’t make it right either. I prefer to follow my Pastor and my Bishop.
No one here has shown me evidence that receiving Communion as a couple is an abuse.
I have only heard lots of opinions and how it makes some feel distracted or uncomfortable. That does not make it an abuse.

 

[RichT]

Tedster:

No offense RichT, but doesn’t liturgical abuse begin when we the lay people decide to change the way any portion of the Holy Mass is conducted? In my opinion, we then lead others to believe that we have the power to do as we want, whether it be holding hands at the “Our Father” or leaving Mass after Holy Communion. My thought is that my family and I will follow to a “T” the GIRM as best we can.
Ted

In regards to the GIRM, there is nothing written in it that says anything about spouses receiving together. See for yourself, usccb.org/liturgy/current/revmissalisromanien.htm

Now, we have seen a lot of talk about the different ways that spouses are receiving. As far as those who chose to serve each other, that is definately wrong as we are supposed to receive from the Priest, Deacon, or EMHC who is holding the bowl or cup. We, even if we are EMHC’s, are not a part of that mass and therefore should not take it upon ourselves to serve each other.

This thread started out questioning whether or not a married couple should receive together or not. To simply stand next to your spouse out of love and respect for one another is not considered a liturgical abuse. I have said it once and I will say it again, there are some who are being a little too judgemental in regards to this topic. To judge someone based on an opinion and not on fact is entirely wrong. I wonder how mass can be a fulfilling event for you when your focus seems to be on who is doing what instead of on our Lord.

Good day…