C
Cambridge
Guest
No, I mean what if one is financially dependent on the other?
Also, what if they really could define their relationship as like a brother and sister? Don’t they have some natural right to that relationship?
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Also, what if they really could define their relationship as like a brother and sister? Don’t they have some natural right to that relationship?
W
wsxyz
Guest
Make every effort to undo the situation.
I say No.
You need to go talk to your priest. He has been trained to assist people with questions like yours.
B
Bluegoat
Guest
I’m a bit confused? What do you mean by cohabitate?
If it is just a man and woman living together, I’d say it really could depend. Not all such arrangements are a near occasion of sin. I used to know a gay man who lived with a widow, which was a nice arrangement for both of them, and I can think of other cases where friendship really has no likelihood into turning into something more.
Z
Zacdecat
Guest
Even as “brother” and “sister”, would be regarded as scandolous. By scandal being regarded as a source of evil gossip. If the man regarded the woman as someone deeply respectable and beloved why would he even consider the arrangement as suitable.
People tend to delight in rumor mongering. He is reducing the woman to that of a woman of little morality certainly not one worthy of being the mother of his children.
Financial considerations…phaw…what is that to the reputation of respectability, better to be hungry than to be scorned by all.
This is not necessarily just but it is human nature. Single women and single men can cohabit but not together, and in our society even this can be construed as bizarre. This is the society in which we live.
People tend to delight in rumor mongering. He is reducing the woman to that of a woman of little morality certainly not one worthy of being the mother of his children.
Financial considerations…phaw…what is that to the reputation of respectability, better to be hungry than to be scorned by all.
This is not necessarily just but it is human nature. Single women and single men can cohabit but not together, and in our society even this can be construed as bizarre. This is the society in which we live.
T
Te_Deum
Guest
The Sacrament of marriage doesn’t join a man and a woman forever and ever
.
C
Cambridge
Guest
Living together like brother and sister, not husband and wife.
C
Cambridge
Guest
Nowadays, I think people are apt to “adopt” family, because the extended family has broken up.
B
Bluegoat
Guest
Scandal is not the same as people not minding their own business and gossiping, which is a sin. The sin of causing scandal is not the same as the common usage of the word.
M
Morgan_Hiver
Guest
I can not possibly see how people being nosey and gossiping about cohabitation would have any sort of weight on church teaching. Here are the facts…you can not receive holy communion until you either move out or marry. The Priest will not absolve your sins or even hear your confessions until you do one or the other. If you do decide to get married then no priest can deny you the right to wed if you continue to live together before being married.
I know this because I learned the hard way. I grew up in a catholic family and it was no big deal for unmarried couples to live together. Divorce desmorse! I just thought all this stuff was frowned upon but was in no way a real sin. A lot of people I grew up with were raised the same way (blame the 60s for our parents behaviour). I moved in with my fiance and went to confession (like I did every Saturday for the past few years) and confessed to the priest something and innocently brought up my living arrangement and he quickly interrupted me to clarify that we did live together. I confirmed. He told me he would not listen to my confession and sent me on my way. I was shocked and horrified. I had no idea I was in grave sin. All the times I went to confession, absolved and then communion … I was not in a state of grace. I felt awful.
We are getting married and so it shant be long until I can receive reconciliation and communion. I do admit that I do not feel “whole” not being able to partake. I just pray the rosary and kiss my scapular in hopes thatit may count for something…if not, at least its keeping my faith strong. Protestants have it so easy in the immediate time, huh? Haha
I know this because I learned the hard way. I grew up in a catholic family and it was no big deal for unmarried couples to live together. Divorce desmorse! I just thought all this stuff was frowned upon but was in no way a real sin. A lot of people I grew up with were raised the same way (blame the 60s for our parents behaviour). I moved in with my fiance and went to confession (like I did every Saturday for the past few years) and confessed to the priest something and innocently brought up my living arrangement and he quickly interrupted me to clarify that we did live together. I confirmed. He told me he would not listen to my confession and sent me on my way. I was shocked and horrified. I had no idea I was in grave sin. All the times I went to confession, absolved and then communion … I was not in a state of grace. I felt awful.
We are getting married and so it shant be long until I can receive reconciliation and communion. I do admit that I do not feel “whole” not being able to partake. I just pray the rosary and kiss my scapular in hopes thatit may count for something…if not, at least its keeping my faith strong. Protestants have it so easy in the immediate time, huh? Haha
B
Bluegoat
Guest
You’ve missed the point. The issue was people living together in a non-sexual relationship. A poster felt that although there would be no sexual sin, there would be the sin of causing scandal.
M
Morgan_Hiver
Guest
But are they REALLY living as brother and sister or just looking for a loop hole? Are they really just a couple that once shared the same bed and just moved it to couch recently?
B
Bluegoat
Guest
Anybody can be faking virtue. This doesn’t make sense. A guy that says he has stopped selling drugs, or having sex with his girl-friend whom he doesn’t live with might not be telling the truth.
C
Cambridge
Guest
Was that an SSPX priest?
M
Morgan_Hiver
Guest
Nope…it was a priest that operates within the spirit of VII.
H
hs_hopeful
Guest
I have a slightly different story of cohabitation to share, and am curious as to how those who post on this forum view it. I know an individual who, for approximately fifteen years, lived with a woman who was his first cousin, once removed. She was an invalid, bedridden for much of that time. He served as her caretaker until her condition worsened to the point where she was placed in a nursing home a few months before her death. How would the Catholic church view this situation?
M
Morgan_Hiver
Guest
I don’t think they would find it necessary to view it at all. As long as there wasn’t any incest going on. I believe the church does not want couples living together before marriage and don’t really care about families doing so.
C
Cambridge
Guest
From CCC 2391 it is obvious that what you were doing was gravely wrong, because you were having premarital sex.
CCC 2284 - 2287 talks about scandal. It can be applied to many situations. It seems like one of those standards that everyone is guilty of breaking, to some degree. Not to say that it isn’t important, but that it is something we all need improvement in.
P
Padraig1972
Guest
Living outside of Gods blessed and holy marriage is wrong. No matter what loopholes people try to come up with.
It is wrong. Period.
It is wrong. Period.
W
wsxyz
Guest
Obviously there is nothing wrong with that situation unless there really is something going on that shouldn’t be going on. Ultimately whether you have a sin to confess is between you and God. But a parish priest has a responsibility to protect the faithful under his care from scandal. That is why if questionable living arrangements become commonly known, the priest may have to refuse Holy Communion to those involved.
Now in the case you mention, I would guess that the priest would not do such a thing, but instead would educate any offended person about what is really going on. But surely everyone can agree that without knowing all the details, people would be wondering what’s going on – and that can cause problems.
B
Bluegoat
Guest
It can, but you have to be careful not to assume that those problems are necessarily the responsibility of the people in the situation. If people are making inappropriate assumptions about others lives or living arrangements, that is their sin, and they should be rebuked. It is no different than looking at what some one else is giving up for Lent and making judgments. The priest should not allow this kind of speculation to take place if he becomes aware of it. If people are gossiping this way, they are causing the scandal, not the others.
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