St Gemma Galgani diary - some passages that are confusing and disturbing

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I was reading some parts of St Gemma Galgani’s diary and am a little confused / disturbed with what I have read.

Most of it relates to the apparent harshness of words from her guardian angel and of Mary.

Sunday, September 2
The rest of the day went very well. But my God, toward evening what happened! My guardian Angel got serious and stern; I could not figure out the reason, but he, from whom nothing can be hidden, in a stern tone (at the moment when I started to recite my usual prayers) asked me what I was doing. “I am praying.” “Who are you waiting for?” (becoming yet more serious). Without thinking, I said: “Brother Gabriel.” Upon hearing me pronounce those words he started to yell at me, saying I was waiting in vain, just as I could wait in vain for the response[18] because . . .

And here I remember two sins I had committed during the day. My God, what sternness! He pronounced these words more than once: “I am ashamed of you. I will end up by not coming to you anymore, and maybe . . . who knows if even tomorrow.” And he left me in that state. He made me cry so much. I want to ask forgiveness but when he is that angry, there is no way he wants to forgive.
ecatholic2000.com/galgani/diary/untitled-06.shtml#__RefHeading__235_1062622614

Thursday, July 26
In the morning my guardian Angel finally came and he reproached me harshly, very harshly and left me once again alone and afflicted
ecatholic2000.com/galgani/diary/untitled-04.shtml#__RefHeading__183_1062622614

Saturday, July 28
Toward evening, I went to the Fifteen Saturdays at St. Maria Bianca;[6] the Blessed Virgin told me She would not be paying me her usual little visit because in the past few days I had disgusted Jesus. I said to Her that Jesus had forgiven me, but She said: “I don’t forgive my daughters so easily; I absolutely want you to become perfect: we’ll see if Saturday I can come and bring Brother Gabriel.” Nevertheless, She blessed me and I resigned myself.
ecatholic2000.com/galgani/diary/untitled-04.shtml#__RefHeading__183_1062622614

There are more entries in the diary which show the angel’s and Mary’s words of comfort. However, I just can’t understand the passages above. It seems too uncharitable? And I know this cant be so from Mary.

Is the diary approved by the Church? I could understand if St Gemma was harsh upon herself (because that could be a sign of humility), but this is not the case.

Does anyone have any interpretations of these passages? Thank you
 
First off, it could just be translation troubles. But let’s say it’s not. What else could be going on?

This touches on some pretty advanced stuff about how mystic experiences “work,” so you might want to read St. John of the Cross’ book, The Ascent of Mount Carmel if this really worries you. It’s a very good book, but it presents things a little more “technically” than you may want, and it may even seem “cold” next to other books about mysticism.

Since St. John of the Cross is definitely not cold, you can tell he’s trying hard to give just the facts!

Okay. Here’s the gist.

Mystical experiences don’t usually “work” like just seeing things with your eyes. You usually have a real mystical experience from God because God has basically taken control of your eyes or your imagination or whatever the vision affects.

(Of course, the only reason our eyes, brain, etc. work at all is because God has set them up and wills them to work, so God is just sending along some extra info.)

Since a mystic doesn’t usually need super-exact information, and since even a mystic usually isn’t Christ-like enough to get a really clear “transmission” past his own human qualities (and his sins and faults), and since we have extremely fallible memories and understanding and wisdom, God works with this.

God makes sure that the mystic’s soul gets all the really important learning experience, as the vision is taking place. The mystic doesn’t actually have to understand it all with his mind. The information he gets consciously is actually the least important bit.

The other thing is that, although God is putting stuff into the mystic’s eyes or brain or what have you, God is not totally overriding that person’s will. So if God gives a mystic a vision by putting information into his visual processing center in his brain, or a locution by putting information into his audio processing center, God lets the mystic process that vision with his own thoughts and imagination.

(Yeah, St. John of the Cross uses different language for this. But that’s what it boils down to.)

We know this, because God has frequently caused a crowd of people to see a vision or hear a locution, or even to smell heavenly smells. When this happens, people often see or notice or hear or smell different things, or in different places. Sometimes this seems to be God tailoring the experience for specific people; but sometimes, it is the person coloring the experience with his own personality or experiences or imaging powers or imagination.

So God was letting St. Gemma have various soul-growing experiences that were tied to info from Him, or from the various saints. But her brain interpreted those experiences in a way that went with her understanding of the world, how she felt about what was going on in her soul, etc.

So let’s say Mary was rebuking St. Gemma, and telling her she has to work harder on practicing virtue and avoiding vice. St. Gemma would feel those feelings from Mary and her brain would get that information; but she would probably “hear” it said the way her mom or a neighbor lady would rebuke her and tell her she had to work harder. That might include stuff like “Well, you don’t get off that easily, because I expect more from my girls.”

This doesn’t mean the visions weren’t real, or that she wasn’t really talking to these saints and to God! It means that some things are very difficult for us to understand while we’re still living in this life, and that “Eye has not seen” these supernatural things fully. So the mystic doesn’t necessarily get what is said in the exact same words that the saint said it.

So yeah, that’s the technical background. If it doesn’t help you, either do more research in St. John or other doctors of mysticism… or skip it, and wait until it makes more sense.
 
The harshness of the words, I believe, is a matter between a young woman who has reached a very high degree of prayer, and the Holy Spirit is leading her to even higher degrees through what she perceives her guardian angel and our Blessed Mother is saying to her.
 
I have read her autobiography and what you are reading seems like a bad translation to me.

Jesus did call Gemma to a very high degree of holiness and he is not necessarily gentle with such souls. He asks for much from them, but they can do it with the help of his grace.

Gemma was given truly extraordinary graces. For example, Have you ever seen your guardian angel?? 🙂

I recommend you get the one by the Passionist Nuns Monastery in Erlanger, Kentucky. It is a good translation.
 
These revelations were for St. Gemma in particular. She would have known how to interpret them and profit by them. Our Lady, for example, was not being unkind; she was testing her little daughter. Our Lady was very sweet to St. Gemma.

I believe that the following revelation (of Jesus to Sr. Jeanne Benigne Gojoz) is relevant: “Benigna must let Me correct her, because I love her and I am severe with My dearest spouses as long as they live. Benigna must await My Divine Mercy; Benigna must trust in the love of Jesus and believe in it. Benigna must refuse nothing to pure love.”
 
Thank you to all who responded, you are very kind to take the time to explain it.

Mintaka, I think I understand it a little bit better now. St Gemma relayed the visions and messages from God through her own personal understandings, experience, knowledge and most probably her unique relationship with Jesus and Mary.
 
JamalChristophr’s signature seems relevant to this. It also reminds me of what Fr. Michael Gaitley calls “big souls” and “little souls” in his book Consoling the Heart of Jesus. Big souls, like St. Gemma, are spiritual Navy SEALs who can take a lot of penance and punishment. Then there are little souls, like you and me (St. Therese identified as one as well), who can only take so much.
 
Pilsen said:
I was reading some parts of St Gemma Galgani’s diary and am a little confused / disturbed with what I have read.

Most of it relates to the apparent harshness of words from her guardian angel and of Mary.

Sunday, September 2
The rest of the day went very well. But my God, toward evening what happened! My guardian Angel got serious and stern; I could not figure out the reason, but he, from whom nothing can be hidden, in a stern tone (at the moment when I started to recite my usual prayers) asked me what I was doing. “I am praying.” “Who are you waiting for?” (becoming yet more serious). Without thinking, I said: “Brother Gabriel.” Upon hearing me pronounce those words he started to yell at me, saying I was waiting in vain, just as I could wait in vain for the response[18] because . . .

And here I remember two sins I had committed during the day. My God, what sternness! He pronounced these words more than once: “I am ashamed of you. I will end up by not coming to you anymore, and maybe . . . who knows if even tomorrow.” And he left me in that state. He made me cry so much. I want to ask forgiveness but when he is that angry, there is no way he wants to forgive.
ecatholic2000.com/galgani/diary/untitled-06.shtml#__RefHeading__235_1062622614

Thursday, July 26
In the morning my guardian Angel finally came and he reproached me harshly, very harshly and left me once again alone and afflicted
ecatholic2000.com/galgani/diary/untitled-04.shtml#__RefHeading__183_1062622614

Saturday, July 28
Toward evening, I went to the Fifteen Saturdays at St. Maria Bianca;[6] the Blessed Virgin told me She would not be paying me her usual little visit because in the past few days I had disgusted Jesus. I said to Her that Jesus had forgiven me, but She said: “I don’t forgive my daughters so easily; I absolutely want you to become perfect: we’ll see if Saturday I can come and bring Brother Gabriel.” Nevertheless, She blessed me and I resigned myself.
ecatholic2000.com/galgani/diary/untitled-04.shtml#__RefHeading__183_1062622614

There are more entries in the diary which show the angel’s and Mary’s words of comfort. However, I just can’t understand the passages above. It seems too uncharitable? And I know this cant be so from Mary.

Is the diary approved by the Church? I could understand if St Gemma was harsh upon herself (because that could be a sign of humility), but this is not the case.

Does anyone have any interpretations of these passages? Thank you
Click to expand...
My replay to this is that it probably was the devil in disguise of the angel, which she didn’t discern. This has happened to other saints where the devil appears to them in the form of some religious being, such as a priest. So being frightened and un-alerted, she fell for it.
 

*Toward evening, I went to the Fifteen Saturdays at St. Maria Bianca;[6] the Blessed Virgin told me She would not be paying me her usual little visit because in the past few days I had **disgusted **Jesus. I said to Her that Jesus had forgiven me, but She said: “I don’t forgive my daughters so easily; I absolutely want you to become perfect: we’ll see if Saturday I can come and bring Brother Gabriel.” Nevertheless, She blessed me and I resigned myself.
*​

I can’t look this up in my book since mine does not go by dates, but I think “disgust” is the wrong word, it was probably “disappointed” or “wounded”…some such other word.

If an Italian translated the book, for example, it is possible the person was not 100% fluent in English.

Language translations can be quite imperfect sometimes, particularly when a nonnative speaker is doing the translation into the translated version, specifically into English.
 
JamalChristophr said:
*Toward evening, I went to the Fifteen Saturdays at St. Maria Bianca;[6] the Blessed Virgin told me She would not be paying me her usual little visit because in the past few days I had **disgusted ***Jesus. I said to Her that Jesus had forgiven me, but She said: “I don’t forgive my daughters so easily; I absolutely want you to become perfect: we’ll see if Saturday I can come and bring Brother Gabriel.” Nevertheless, She blessed me and I resigned myself.
I can’t look this up in my book since mine does not go by dates, but I think “disgust” is the wrong word, it was probably “disappointed” or “wounded”…some such other word.

If an Italian translated the book, for example, it is possible the person was not 100% fluent in English.

Language translations can be quite imperfect sometimes, particularly when a nonnative speaker is doing the translation into the translated version, specifically into English.
Click to expand...
Very good point. Thanks!
 
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