Standing up for someone else

[dallas_r]

I was hanging around with my friend today at school and there was this tall dude with a huge water stain on his shirt. I talked to someone else and they said my friend whose name is Nate, threw water at this other kid named Ashton. Nate is a small and relaxed type of guy so I can safely assume that Ashton must have ticked him off in a very serious manner for Nate to throw water at him. So anyway, my friend Nate throws water at Ashton. Ashton responds with name calling and takes Nate’s water bottle, throws water on Nate, and throws his (expensive high-quality plastic) water bottle about 30 yards. After all of that Ashton says “Pick it up”. Because my friend is small he didn’t stand up for himself or tell a teacher and he said a fake “I’m fine” after I asked if he was ok. I by no means am not one to back away when I see injustice but I did today and I feel terrible. I never have backed down to a bully and I did for the first time today and I feel absolutley awful. Did I do the right thing by not confronting that guy (which probably would have resulted in a fight)? Or should I have had more courage and confronted Ashton regardless of the punches and shoves I would take? Saint Thomas Aquinas once said “The principal act of courage is to endure and withstand dangers doggedly rather than to attack them.” Would this apply in my situation? Is it bad I didn’t do anything? Should I talk to Ashton tomorrow? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[anna]

I think you did the right thing. It was between your friend Nate and Ashton. Let your friend grow up a little. If you would have confronted Ashton and it ended in a fight you would have felt worse and so would Nate, plus you showed more courage by walking away, as far as talking to Ashton tomorrow let it go…it’s over. Nate has a good friend in you Enjoyyour friendship and your school years GOB BLESS YOU

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

You did do the right thing.

Nate needs to find his own words. It would be embarrassing to have someone fight your battles all the time.

You’d be best to simply be friends with Nate, acknowledge that Ashton was a jerk and encourage him to develop the skills he needs to be able to confront injustice himself or get the appropriate help–which would be someone in authority, not a peer.

 

[dallas_r]

Thank you all for your responses, it really takes some stress off of my shoulders. God bless you all!

 

[pnewton]

Sounds fine to me what you did. It was just water. I think “standing” up for him is the right thing as in being right there with him to deter any violence. I have taught my son to leave and/or get assistance from authority in these situation. It that is not possible, and all verbal attempts to de-escalate fail, then defend the one in need if he or she is physically attacked, and defend hard.

 

[anon68864946]

I think you sound like a really caring, loving person. Your friend is lucky to have you!
God bless you.

 

[exnihilo]

Nate is a small and relaxed type of guy so I can safely assume that Ashton must have ticked him off in a very serious manner for Nate to throw water at him.

When you are considering intervening you had better know with certainty. It sounds like your friend started the physical aspect of the issue. He may have been justified, but you don’t know. Regardless, society today generally doesn’t approve of responding physically to verbal assaults. We don’t have an honor culture anymore.

So I think you did best by staying out of it.