Staring at Priests and Nuns

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I was watching EWTN’s “Theology of the Body for Teens” and one of the speakers says that sometimes the clothing of priests and nuns shock the world so much to the point that people literally stop to stare at the clergymen. The speaker explained that the world is shocked to see people who have sacrificed their gift of sexuality for the sake of the Kingdom of God.
Would anyone like to share a personal, maybe humorous story about any time when you were with a priest or a nun outside in public and people started to stare? Has this happened to anyone?
 
When I was in Europe (particularly Italy and Poland) I found it striking seeing young nuns riding bicycles around town or going shopping. It’s not something I’m used to since most nuns I see in the U.S. are senior citizens. It’s odd to see someone who is in her late 20’s, early 30’s choosing that life style when all the young women around her at dating, partying, getting married, etc.

At the same time, it is very uplifting to know that there are people who have that level of devotion towards the faith.
 
Yes, I’ve been stared at and usually not out of disrespect but curiosity and surprise. Comments I get are: “I didn’t think nuns still wear habits”, “I thought most nuns are old!”, or simply a word of encouragement, “I am so glad you wear the habit!” I had a little boy at a supermarket who was spooked by the habit and cried a lot the mother had to ask one of the Sisters to explain what the habit is about!
 
I find that little kids will stare a lot. Generally not adults, except if they are somewhere they don’t think they can be seen, like driving by in a car.
I have had some adults approach me and say that they have “never seen a real nun before.”
Some of the reactions by the kids are really cute.
 
Yeah, I get it quite a bit. It’s typically uncomfortable for me, since I don’t really like being the center of attention. I am also very shy around people I don’t know, so when people come up to me to talk (which happens a lot) it’s a little unnerving, but it is also a moment of grace.

I have heard other religious claim that the habit is a hinderance to ministry, it keeps people away from us, makes them feel uncomfortable. While that may very well be true in some cases, my personal experience tells me the exact opposite. People come up to talk with me out of the blue, not because I’m some charming guy that attracts people left and right, but there is a message that is sent to people when they see the habit. That message is different for everyone, but the habit elicits something deep down inside people. I know that had I not been wearing the habit in those situations, those people, completely unknown to me, would never have initiated a conversation with me ex nihilo.
 
Does anyone else have anymore stories? how about any stories with negative and hateful reactions?
 
I’ve never had anything hateful happen to me. But I have had two funny things happen this very week. Last Sunday I attended the evening mass, which I never do. A little boy, who identified himself as Justin, came up to me and asked me who I was and where I was from. Of course, dumb me, I told him that I was originally from Virginia. He looked very perplexed and said, "I didn’t know they had Jedi in Virginia. Justin had never seen the Franciscan habit. Our habit is quite distinctive because of the color and the mantle that goes with it.

Yesterday it was pouring. I was walking to Walgreens. We do not have cars. So, I pulled up my capuche to keep the rain off my head and out of my face. As I approached the door, two teens called out to me, “Yo Monk!” We all had a good chat as I explained to them that friars are not monks. They had never heard of a friar. I guess no one watches Robin Hood anymore.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
I guess no one watches Robin Hood anymore.
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I did! After I encountered the Catholic Church, it took me around two years before I stopped automatically mentally pronouncing “Fr.” as “friar”.

(Sorry for the off-topic post.)
 
Hidden_One said:
I did! After I encountered the Catholic Church, it took me around two years before I stopped automatically mentally pronouncing “Fr.” as “friar”.

(Sorry for the off-topic post.)
Click to expand...
Actually, Fr. is the abbreviation for Friar and for Father. That often confuses people when they see a friar’s name in print. In English the abbreviation is Fr. In the other Romance Languages it is Fra. Some Franciscan communities have decided to us Br. to avoid the confusion.

Among friars, the practice has been to avoid singularizing those who are priests. That why we all wear the same habit and have the same title. When we walk around in our habits most Catholics call us Father. My community has one house where there is only one priest, but five friars. The superior of the house is called Father, but he is not a priest. Everyone else is called Brother, even the priest. This throws people for a loop, because he is Father and he wears an undistinguishable habit as do all the friars.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
JReducation said:
I’ve never had anything hateful happen to me. But I have had two funny things happen this very week. Last Sunday I attended the evening mass, which I never do. A little boy, who identified himself as Justin, came up to me and asked me who I was and where I was from. Of course, dumb me, I told him that I was originally from Virginia. He looked very perplexed and said, "I didn’t know they had Jedi in Virginia. Justin had never seen the Franciscan habit. Our habit is quite distinctive because of the color and the mantle that goes with it.

Yesterday it was pouring. I was walking to Walgreens. We do not have cars. So, I pulled up my capuche to keep the rain off my head and out of my face. As I approached the door, two teens called out to me, “Yo Monk!” We all had a good chat as I explained to them that friars are not monks. They had never heard of a friar. I guess no one watches Robin Hood anymore.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
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Can you tell us about your conversation? what did you talk about? how were their reactions? what did the two teens say?
 
I have one!

A few years ago, I was in Boston with my parish priest, another girl and her female teacher. We were on our way to visit an order of sisters because the other girl and I were discerning vocations as sisters and the priest and teacher wanted to take us to see what a convent was really like. Anyway, it was nighttime and we were walking down a small, dark side street to get to the store that the sisters run that has the convent on top of it. There were cars driving through it and I looked into the windows in all of them and all their occupants had the same reaction…just wide eyed shock that a priest would be walking down a dark side street at night with three women. We had a good laugh about it with the sisters later.
 
JReducation said:
I’ve never had anything hateful happen to me. But I have had two funny things happen this very week. Last Sunday I attended the evening mass, which I never do. A little boy, who identified himself as Justin, came up to me and asked me who I was and where I was from. Of course, dumb me, I told him that I was originally from Virginia. He looked very perplexed and said, "I didn’t know they had Jedi in Virginia. Justin had never seen the Franciscan habit. Our habit is quite distinctive because of the color and the mantle that goes with it.

Yesterday it was pouring. I was walking to Walgreens. We do not have cars. So, I pulled up my capuche to keep the rain off my head and out of my face. As I approached the door, two teens called out to me, “Yo Monk!” We all had a good chat as I explained to them that friars are not monks. They had never heard of a friar. I guess no one watches Robin Hood anymore.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
Click to expand...
What charming stories! 🙂 As a child I had a crush on Richard Greene (along with Roy Rogers).
 
To tell a story on myself - when I was a very little girl I was usually well-behaved; but, bring me in sight of religious sisters in their habits and I was one pile of screaming heebie-jeebies. Fortunately, I have changed my tune. 🙂
 
I go to a college with monks, and over the summer, I work at another college that also has monks. They’re both of the Benedictine order. Since I live in the South, the idea of monks/nuns/priests is a foreign concept to most people, and no one ever ever wears any form of habit or otherwise on the streets out there, so to see monks walking around is still one of those “Oh wow, lookit!” moments for me every now and then.

I’m basically used to it, but at certain times, I do find myself staring at a monk walking down a lane or something on campus, because those fellas evoke a lot of mystery in their black habits…until the wind picks up their scapular and it wraps half-way around their face, then I laugh. All in good fun, of course.
 
xsuasox said:
I go to a college with monks, and over the summer, I work at another college that also has monks. They’re both of the Benedictine order. Since I live in the South, the idea of monks/nuns/priests is a foreign concept to most people, and no one ever ever wears any form of habit or otherwise on the streets out there, so to see monks walking around is still one of those “Oh wow, lookit!” moments for me every now and then.

I’m basically used to it, but at certain times, I do find myself staring at a monk walking down a lane or something on campus, because those fellas evoke a lot of mystery in their black habits…until the wind picks up their scapular and it wraps half-way around their face, then I laugh. All in good fun, of course.
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Scapulars are the most annoying garment. They manage to wrap themselves around your face when the wind blows, get caught in electronic sliding doors and car doors. They manage to sping around when the wind is blowing, making you look like a helicopter about to ttake off. And if you sit on them, you can’t stand up, because they tug at your throat. I know, because I wear one. LOL

I think our lady meant them to be a test of patience.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
When I worked in the local Catholic bookstore, I always made it a point, if a Sister came in her habit, to compliment her on wearing it. And I think I gave a young Franciscan novice a ‘high-five’ for wearing his habit!

Hey JR, those encounters with the kids were funny-especially the teens who said, ‘Yo Monk!’
 
barb_finnegan said:
When I worked in the local Catholic bookstore, I always made it a point, if a Sister came in her habit, to compliment her on wearing it. And I think I gave a young Franciscan novice a ‘high-five’ for wearing his habit!

Hey JR, those encounters with the kids were funny-especially the teens who said, ‘Yo Monk!’
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We always have some interesting encounters with people, because of the habit. Last night I attended the Virtus training workshop. A gentleman approached me and asked me if I was stationed at the local parish. I told him that I was not, but sin our brothers run the parish, I was going to be working there in youth ministry and religious education. I also explained to him that my presence is part of the transition. Our brothers are leaving the parish, because our constitutions are clear that we do not run parishes. Originally, we were there to cover for a short period until the bishop could get secular priests or another religious community.

Anyway, the man said to me, “But you guys have priests . . .” I said “Yes, we have several brothers or are ordained. But they are not ordained for the service of the laity, only for the service of the religious community.” Looking at me very thoughtfully the man went on to ask, “So why wear a habit?” He didn’t understand that the habit is a sign of the consecrated life, not of Holy Orders and that the two are separate callings that can be granted to one person, but not necessarily. He didn’t understand that religious orders are not called to serve in parishes. That call is more common among religious congregations, not orders, and not all congregations either.

I guess we all have a great deal to teach and learn. But when to teach all of it and learn so much that our Church has to offer is almost a mind-boggling question.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
JReducation said:
Scapulars are the most annoying garment. They manage to wrap themselves around your face when the wind blows, get caught in electronic sliding doors and car doors. They manage to sping around when the wind is blowing, making you look like a helicopter about to ttake off. And if you sit on them, you can’t stand up, because they tug at your throat. I know, because I wear one. LOL

I think our lady meant them to be a test of patience.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
Click to expand...
Sorry for another off topic post. 😊
When my parents and I went to evening prayer with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist we noticed that they entered the Chapel and genuflected and then kissed their Scapular. I was wondering if everyone who has a Scapular does this or if it’s just a Dominican thing. I was also wondering why.
We also noticed that when they sat down for spiritual reading before evening prayer they were very careful to not sit on them. 😃

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!
 
GilChrist77 said:
Sorry for another off topic post. 😊
When my parents and I went to evening prayer with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist we noticed that they entered the Chapel and genuflected and then kissed their Scapular. I was wondering if everyone who has a Scapular does this or if it’s just a Dominican thing. I was also wondering why.
We also noticed that when they sat down for spiritual reading before evening prayer they were very careful to not sit on them. 😃

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!
Click to expand...
Let’s start with your closing observation. We don’t sit on scapulars because they tug at your neck making it difficult for you to breath. You pull it foward and drape it over your lap.

Kissing the scapular is a particular tradition of certain religious congregations. Franciscans don’t kiss the scapular. It’s not part of the Franciscan tradition. In the Franciscan tradition the scapular was originally an apron that Francis designed for the novices. It was later, through the inspiration of the Carmelties that the scapular became a sacramental in the Catholic Church. In keeping with the Carmelite spirituality, many communities adapted the custom of kissing the scapular. But scapulars were around long before the Carmelite began to spread of the devotion to the scapular. Like I said, they were originally aprons.

My community wears it to remind us that we must be like Christ who put on an apron and washed his disciples’ feet. As Franciscans we are called to imitate Christ in the most literal sense.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
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