Starting to lose hope

[pwlj_christ87]

I got back into catholicism and the church about 4-5 years ago through some pretty incredible events… i made a total converion and read alot of books about the faith, i was a very solid man. I never really worried then and i witnessed numerous prayers, specific ones, come true. i was in love with God and the church, i saw it for what it was. Since then though, ive been through some rough times, and i guess they are all a part of providence, i went through a number of job attempts that were unsuccesful, my mental health detoriated and i spent a long time in the hospital under care, i have been out of work and at home since still recovering ,… sometimes i feel helpless, sometimes i feele like ive abondned my faith,

i feel that before, i was so resilient, in every aspect of my life, i didnt fail, and i feel that because i have “failed” at the job attempts (Not due to my fault), and that because i am “failing” in life due to being unemployed and recovering from mental health issues, that im a big failure, both religiously and physically…

i dont want to keep going to the church for some reason i feel beetter and safer talking with people anonymous like you all who we all share the faith

im 29 years old and i feel like sometimes i wiill never meeet anyone, etc.

 

[PraiseChrist]

Dear friend,

I’m also going through problems with hope.
I would suggest limiting your time on CAF (time limit), and making appointments with your pastor outside of confession, as he’ll help you out very much.

It’s good to talk with other guys your age who are also practicing Catholics, like if there are men’s groups at a local parish.

Don’t be afraid to talk to a faithful Catholic psychologist if you feel that you need it. I know St Michael’s Institute offers skype appointments, if you can’t find a Catholic psychologist near you. You may have excellent mental health now, but it can lead to a downhill if you neglect doing something about this.

Try to also go to Daily Mass, and study saints who were tempted to despair
(like St Joseph Benedict Labre, St Teresa of Calcutta, St Therese)

All the best,

Andrew

 

[katy]

What you are going through is familiar. I’ve had the same experience and spoken with others, and the general train of events goes about the same. We come back to the faith or are converted for the first time and things go great for a time, and then the bottom seems to fall out. Job hunting is particularly difficult in this economy. You are young so that counts in your favor. Looking for a job, though, is so often an experience in rejection after rejection. Friends can help, even if just to make you laugh. Get all the help you can through whatever college or even high school you may have graduated from. Go to the library. If you can afford it or have someone to help financially, hire someone to help you with your resume. Join a (hopefully free) support group that is not just a gripe session. Really, you have a lot going in your favor. Don’t give up on Christ; look at what he gave up for you and give him your fears. Somehow he will use this for your good. Hang in there, friend.

 

[pwlj_christ87]

thanks guys, i suppose out of all of this i have learned alot and even though my jobb failures (or so it seems) didn’t work out, i feel like i learned alot from each experience, i Just now want to use those failures towards something else so right now im waiting to use that energy and knowledge towards something that isnt coming yet…

in all honesty i am pretty happy with everything, i ended up residing at a place that i prayed for a long time that i wish i lived, now i am here, i am financially well for the time being, i suppose this has just been an extremely tough time of my life, extremely, but ive learned more about jesus in this short time than alot of the past, just wishing i was more optimistic

 

[Eliazer]

I got back into catholicism and the church about 4-5 years ago through some pretty incredible events… i made a total converion and read alot of books about the faith, i was a very solid man. I never really worried then and i witnessed numerous prayers, specific ones, come true. i was in love with God and the church, i saw it for what it was. Since then though, ive been through some rough times, and i guess they are all a part of providence, i went through a number of job attempts that were unsuccesful, my mental health detoriated and i spent a long time in the hospital under care, i have been out of work and at home since still recovering ,… sometimes i feel helpless, sometimes i feele like ive abondned my faith,

i feel that before, i was so resilient, in every aspect of my life, i didnt fail, and i feel that because i have “failed” at the job attempts (Not due to my fault), and that because i am “failing” in life due to being unemployed and recovering from mental health issues, that im a big failure, both religiously and physically…

i dont want to keep going to the church for some reason i feel beetter and safer talking with people anonymous like you all who we all share the faith

im 29 years old and i feel like sometimes i wiill never meeet anyone, etc.

This is a more serious concern. I reccomend you got talk to a Catholic priest about it. A Priest in bound by the deal of silence according to my catholic faith book by Most reverend Louis LaRavoire Morrow, S.T.D. Bishop of Krishnagar: In section 152 pg. 316 it states " what is the “seal of confession”?- it is the most solemn obligation of a priest to keep secret what has been revealed to him in cofession.

1. The Priest may not break this seal even to save his own life, or to aver a great calamity. He must act as if he had not heard anything in confession. That is why a sense of shame or fear of telling our sins should never lead us to conceal mortal sins I’m cofession.
   …
2. The seal of confession must be observed even in a court of justice, for the divine law is higher than human law. …
3. It would be a mortal sin for a priest to divulge even the genial sin of a person which he knew through confession. The penalty for violating the deal of confession is excommunication reserved to the Pope, besides severe ecclesiastical penalties. …"

The concept is almost the same for spiritual direction.

I know it’s not easy but it is the best remedy.
We all do share the faith true but from a forum we cannot really help much other than provide moral support and prayer. It will also help you answer few questions regarding the Faith of Our mother church

I high reccomend to talk it to your local Parish priest. There is also a good Priest in the forum one among many. Send a private message to Don Ruggero I am sure he will be able to give you the right kind of direction because he a priest which understands the soul and moral theology for years and years of study Our Lord gave authorization to priest by saying "But if thy brother shall offend against thee, go, and rebuke him between thee and him alone. If he shall hear thee, thou shalt gain thy brother.

And if he will not hear thee, take with thee one or two more: that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may stand. And if he will not hear them: tell the church. And if he will not hear the church, let him be to thee as the heathen and publican. Amen I say to you, whatsoever you shall bind upon earth, shall be bound also in heaven; and whatsoever you shall loose upon earth, shall be loosed also in heaven. Again I say to you, that if two of you shall consent upon earth, concerning any thing whatsoever they shall ask, it shall be done to them by my Father who is in heaven. For where there are two or three gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
(Holy Gospel according to St. Matthew 18: 15-20)(Douay-Rheims Version)

Chapter 18 ver.20 “There am I in the midst of them.” This is understood of such assemblies only as are gathered in the name and authority of Christ; and in unity of the church of Christ. St. Cyprian, De Unitate Ecclesiae.(Bishop Richard Challoner)

Not as in the charismatic movement but they refer inside the authority of holy Mother Church.

This is why it is so important to talk to a Catholic priest. We as a group will support you and help you in what we can but the without the catholic Priest we would have never learned the faith.

 

[petra22]

Please dear Lord, grant blessings of peace, faith, hope and love. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

Your use of the phrases “pretty incredible events” and “numerous prayers, specific ones, come true…” and “part of providence…” lead me to believe (and yes, I could be wrong) that you believe that God was somehow helping you, and now he is not. This is superstition, not piety.

Read Luke 13:4–“Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them–do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?” What Jesus is telling the apostles is that it’s nonsense to think everything that’s bad in the world is a punishment from God. Things just happen. Or Matthew 4:45–“He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Nature doesn’t take sides. The tornado that spared your house killed your neighbor–are you better than your neighbor? The cancer that went into remission in the case of a relative didn’t go into remission with someone else, and they’re dead. Are they less worthy? Are they dead because they had less faith? Certainly not.

Prayers coming true? Perhaps. But coincidences happen all the time…diseases go into remission, vaccines never protect 100% of the time, and natural disasters kill the good and the bad alike. Watch some youtube videos and you will see thousands of unbelievable things–but they all happened. Nothing to do with prayer or belief in God, just coincidences. On trips to Europe I’ve run into acquaintances in Istanbul, Canterbury, Cologne, London, and many other places. Is that miraculous? Certainly not–it’s just that my friends, like me, travel at the same time of year and go to the same tourist attractions. What would be remarkable would be NOT to meet anyone I knew.

My advice would be to stop thinking that God is somehow punishing you or against you. God has better things to do. Take responsibility for your own life and realize that yes, some bad things are bound to happen–by chance, not by divine will.

 

[Monica4316]

Your use of the phrases “pretty incredible events” and “numerous prayers, specific ones, come true…” and “part of providence…” lead me to believe (and yes, I could be wrong) that you believe that God was somehow helping you, and now he is not. This is superstition, not piety.

Read Luke 13:4–“Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them–do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?” What Jesus is telling the apostles is that it’s nonsense to think everything that’s bad in the world is a punishment from God. Things just happen. Or Matthew 4:45–“He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Nature doesn’t take sides. The tornado that spared your house killed your neighbor–are you better than your neighbor? The cancer that went into remission in the case of a relative didn’t go into remission with someone else, and they’re dead. Are they less worthy? Are they dead because they had less faith? Certainly not.

Prayers coming true? Perhaps. But coincidences happen all the time…diseases go into remission, vaccines never protect 100% of the time, and natural disasters kill the good and the bad alike. Watch some youtube videos and you will see thousands of unbelievable things–but they all happened. Nothing to do with prayer or belief in God, just coincidences. On trips to Europe I’ve run into acquaintances in Istanbul, Canterbury, Cologne, London, and many other places. Is that miraculous? Certainly not–it’s just that my friends, like me, travel at the same time of year and go to the same tourist attractions. What would be remarkable would be NOT to meet anyone I knew.

My advice would be to stop thinking that God is somehow punishing you or against you. God has better things to do. Take responsibility for your own life and realize that yes, some bad things are bound to happen–by chance, not by divine will.

I agree with you that God hasn’t abandoned the OP though they’ve gone through trials. If anything, God is closer to us in trials than when things go well.

However, I think it’s better to trust that something was from God if it helped to come to the faith, instead of thinking it could have been coincidence.

I think the more probably explanation is what happens to nearly every convert… God’s action is pretty noticeable at first to encourage the person, and then He allows them to go through trials to make them a mature believer. It’s just how we “grow up” spiritually and learn virtue over time. It’s easy to love God when things go well, but it develops virtue to love Him in difficult times.

During this time of trial, God is still near the soul, and is helping, even if less noticeably. Trust and acts of love for God can do a lot and help to progress in a short time, when we go through painful events.

This doesn’t mean that He didn’t act noticeably before, and the previous answered prayers don’t mean that He is absent now.

God allows everything for good, and at some point we need to bear trials and learn real love of God and neighbor, humility, trust, abandonment to Divine providence, and other virtues.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

However, I think it’s better to trust that something was from God if it helped to come to the faith, instead of thinking it could have been coincidence.

I understand that different people (all good Catholics) can have different views on this sort of thing. But I disagree with you here. Here’s an actual example from a woman I knew: She had bad back pain (it’s always something nebulous, right?) and prayed God would cure her. The pain went away (as back pains do…) and it strengthened her belief in God. But that’s pretty much like building sand castles. Because of course (!) the pain came back. So, like our original poster, she was in a dilemma: if God took away the pain because of her prayers, why did He allow the pain to return? Punishment? A “trial” as you might put it? So what had started out strengthening her faith ended up weakening it. If she had simply believed back pains come and go and it had nothing to do with God (in a direct causal sense), she would have been better off–mentally, spiritually, and in every way I can think of.

He allows them to go through trials to make them a mature believer. It’s just how we “grow up” spiritually and learn virtue over time. It’s easy to love God when things go well, but it develops virtue to love Him in difficult times.

This of course is a classic answer to the problem of evil. It’s like the father saying, “This is for your own good” before giving the kid a beating. Luckily most of us have gotten beyond that, and I personally think we should get beyond the notion of a God who is constantly putting us through “trials.” As I said in my original post, things happen–as Jesus kept pointing out in the Gospels–and we shouldn’t keep seeing God behind every bush. There are events that happen in the world, and there is God. The more we can keep them separate, the better off we are in my view. I realize I am in the minority here, so no need to point that out. It’s simply my personal view.

This doesn’t mean that He didn’t act noticeably before, and the previous answered prayers don’t mean that He is absent now.

God allows everything for good, and at some point we need to bear trials and learn real love of God and neighbor, humility, trust, abandonment to Divine providence, and other virtues.

Philosophically I have a real problem with that–there are other threads that spend pages and pages discussing this. But in a nutshell you have a problem: if God knows the future, He has no need to interject Himself into events constantly–meddling, or tinkering if you will. If you assume a tinkering God, you have to ask yourself why God needs to tinker with the universe He created with full knowledge of what would happen. Did He make a mistake? Change His mind at some point? Listen to prayers? But if He knows the future, He would have known about the prayers before the universe was created…so why not adjust for the prayers from the beginning of time rather than interject Himself constantly?

If you have read Bart Ehrman, you’ll see Bart (now an atheist) is showing his Evangelical roots by assuming an “active” God. But there is no reason to believe in an “active” God who is constantly interfering in the operation of natural laws He Himself created. It’s contradictory, and makes no sense. Again, I understand most people don’t believe this, but I’m just throwing it out there to show people who believe in an “active” God that there is an alternative viewpoint which is just as orthodox.

 

[PelagiathePenit]

I got back into catholicism and the church about 4-5 years ago through some pretty incredible events… i made a total converion and read alot of books about the faith, i was a very solid man. I never really worried then and i witnessed numerous prayers, specific ones, come true. i was in love with God and the church, i saw it for what it was. Since then though, ive been through some rough times, and i guess they are all a part of providence, i went through a number of job attempts that were unsuccesful, my mental health detoriated and i spent a long time in the hospital under care, i have been out of work and at home since still recovering ,… sometimes i feel helpless, sometimes i feele like ive abondned my faith,

i feel that before, i was so resilient, in every aspect of my life, i didnt fail, and i feel that because i have “failed” at the job attempts (Not due to my fault), and that because i am “failing” in life due to being unemployed and recovering from mental health issues, that im a big failure, both religiously and physically…

i dont want to keep going to the church for some reason i feel beetter and safer talking with people anonymous like you all who we all share the faith

im 29 years old and i feel like sometimes i wiill never meeet anyone, etc.

I agree. Limit your time online. I have such a big problem confronting my “problems” in real life. The internet is an escape. Patience is a virtue. Keep going to church, you never know what you may learn. Do not completely beat yourself up about everything. Anne Frank said, “the thing about feelings - they demands to be felt no matter how ungrateful they are.” Do not expect your relationship with God to always be smooth. Trust God the most when times are tough. I believe that everything will be okay, at least I want to tell you that. God bless you. Pray the serenity prayer. It give me hope. God understands your predicament.