State of my marriage?

[hsingmom]

Hi,

Quick facts:

My husband, a Catholic, and I married in a Catholic church before I was baptized. (I don’t think any special dispensation was given; the priest and parish were extremely, uh, liberal, to the point where I basically think the pastor was a cafeteria Catholic.)

I later was baptized in the Church (and received the other sacraments of initiation).

We are devoted Catholics raising our children in the faith, but do we have a sacramental marriage?

Thanks!

 

[1ke]

My husband, a Catholic, and I married in a Catholic church before I was baptized. (I don’t think any special dispensation was given; the priest and parish were extremely, uh, liberal, to the point where I basically think the pastor was a cafeteria Catholic.)

It is very common for the priest to complete all the required paperwork with the diocese. The couple is not typically involved in that. I don’t see any reason to doubt the validity of the marriage.

I later was baptized in the Church (and received the other sacraments of initiation).

We are devoted Catholics raising our children in the faith, but do we have a sacramental marriage?

Thanks!

Yes. Upon your baptism, your marriage became a sacrament. Before your baptism the marriage was what is called a natural marriage.

 

[Veronica97]

My husband was a baptized Catholic and I was unbaptized when we had our marriage convalidated in the Catholic Church. That was over 14 years ago. But then last year I started reading all about marriage in the Church, and I, like you, became concerned about whether all the correct paper work had been done. So I went to talk to my Pastor (who was not the Pastor who had married us). He kind of laughed and said, “I can ASSURE you the paper work was done!” I took that to mean that priests are required to submit the correct paper work and aren’t likely to skip it! If you are concerned, go talk to your Pastor.

 

[hsingmom]

Okay, thanks. Considering that the priest who married us used to talk openly, from the pulpit, about how he wished he didn’t “have” to be celibate I still have some doubts. He also allowed me to receive Communion, which I appreciated at the time, but which makes my eyes bug out now.

 

[Veronica97]

Wow! That makes me go too! I think I would go talk to my Pastor for peace of mind. The church may have a copy of the paperwork, and if not, surely the Diocese does (not sure exactly how that works). In any case, the Catholic Church is pretty good about paperwork, so I am thinking the documents you’re wondering about are in existence somewhere! I’m pretty sure just the initial paperwork would ask the question of whether or not each person was baptized or not. If you told the priest “no” and he checked “no” then he would not have been allowed to marry you without filling out the “disparity of cult” form and having it approved by the bishop. In the meantime, try not to worry too much. IF the paperwork wasn’t done correctly, then you and your husband would simply need to repeat your vows in front of the priest and two witnesses. Unless and until you know otherwise, you and your husband are validly married.

 

[Phemie]

In our diocese we simply forward the entire file to the Bishop (who really needs to know all the facts before he can approve), who returns it with his signature (or the Vicar General’s) in the appropriate places. It’s then filed in the parish. We have all the marriage files since the parish was erected in 1958. Even when couples were getting married elsewhere I would routinely photocopy the file before I forwarded the original to the diocese for permission

 

[Joe_Kelley]

It is very common for the priest to complete all the required paperwork with the diocese. The couple is not typically involved in that. I don’t see any reason to doubt the validity of the marriage. …

Right. The couple is apt to be rather busy and distracted at that time and the priest will not bother them with things they don’t have to do.

 

[Vico]

Hi,

Quick facts:

My husband, a Catholic, and I married in a Catholic church before I was baptized. (I don’t think any special dispensation was given; the priest and parish were extremely, uh, liberal, to the point where I basically think the pastor was a cafeteria Catholic.)

I later was baptized in the Church (and received the other sacraments of initiation).

We are devoted Catholics raising our children in the faith, but do we have a sacramental marriage?

Thanks!

I agree with the others too: the priest would have gotten the dispensation for disparity of cult from the bishop at the time.