Staying at my sister's rented apartment for four weeks

[nahbios]

Hi all…

I’ve been staying at my sister’s rented apartment for the past two weeks and am staying for another two. She’ll have been living back home for two of the four weeks and living in the apartment for the other two (her two flatmates come and go as well). I’m living here because I’m doing a four-week-long course and I can’t travel from home to the college every day. My mom thought it common sense that I stay with my sister for the few weeks.

However, I don’t feel that what I’m doing is right as I’m not paying my sister’s landlord for my stay. The landlord has a baby with his wife so I can imagine he would appreciate anything extra. I’m afraid to ask my mom about this because I have a history of being scrupulous and she might dismiss it. Maybe I’m being scrupulous here too, but I’m fairly sure that what I’m doing isn’t okay and that my stay until now might even need to be confessed. (I did receive Communion on Sunday last week.)

Where should I go from here? I’d be very grateful for replies.

Thanks!
Beannacht Dé (Irish for “God’s blessing”).

 

[1ke]

Yes, you are being scrupulous.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi allWhere should I go from here? I’d be very grateful for replies.

Thanks!
Beannacht Dé (Irish for “God’s blessing”).

ask your sister what the lease says or what the arrangment with her landlord is. Unless the lease specifies only one occupant, or requires additional rent for a second occupant, there should be no problem with her having a relatively short term guest. This is your sister’s problem, not yours.

 

[baltobetsy]

Has your sister not paid the rent for the month during which you are staying? If she has, the landlord is losing nothing by your being there. It’s an apartment, not a hotel. There is no extra work or additional supplies involved in your stay.

Betsy

 

[nahbios]

1ke, puzzleannie and baltobetsy: thank you all for your comments - I very much appreciate them. My sister has indeed paid the rent. I must ask her about the conditions of staying there tomorrow.

Thanks again and may God bless you!

 

[PrairieDawn]

On the other hand…if you have extra money, or a particular talent that might be put to use, you could express your gratitude to the the landlord with a small gift (say, for example, a handmade baby blanket, if you crochet or knit, or a gift certificate to Babies R Us or an equivalent store).

Don’t think of your circumstance as a minefield of potential sin, but as an opportunity for an act of grace.

Prairie

(Who tends to scrupulosity and needs to walk the talk a little better too…)

 

[nahbios]

That is a brilliant suggestion, Prairie Dawn - thank you! Although I can’t crochet and I’ve even forgotten how to knit, I must have a look in one of those stores and see if I could get a gift voucher to give him as a token. I don’t know if I’ll be meeting him myself as I could be out of the apartment if he visits in the next two weeks, but I could ask my sister to pass it on to him.

Don’t think of your circumstance as a minefield of potential sin, but as an opportunity for an act of grace.

I must remember that lovely quote…

Thank you again for helping a fellow scruplousity-tended Catholic!

God bless,
nahbios

P.S. I love your user name, it’s so pretty!

 

[PrairieDawn]

Thanks,

It has all the elements I like…a reference to a beautiful part of the natural world, frequently underappreciated, a reference to Sesame Street, and an allusion to my own similarity to the precocious perfectionist Muppet I’m calling myself after.

Prairie

Prayer of thanks for underappreciated things #2: Thank You, God, for prairies, for encouraging us to look closer and appreciate small details, and to look into the distance and appreciate big skies.