Staying the Night

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The Church’s stance on Cohabitation has always been fuzzy to me. If any non-Catholic were to ask me about it, I couldn’t give them a straight answer, I’m afraid. So, I figure I’ll just ask outright.

Does the Church teach that Cohabitation is a grave sin in any and all circumstances, or is it a case-by-case decision one must make prudently?

Some instances of cohabitation strike me as obviously sinful, no question. For instance, a boyfriend staying the night in his girlfriend’s dorm or two engaged people flat-out living together.

On the other hand, there seem to be at least some instances in which staying the night at the house of a person of the opposite sex isn’t sinful. For instance, in an emergency situation in which a hotel or AirBnB aren’t viable options.

(name removed by moderator)ut very welcome.
 
Well my fiancé and I had to live together for 12 weeks as he relocated here before we got married so it’s not always that straightforward. How realistic was it for him to find a separate property with all his stuff for 12 weeks then move house again the day of the wedding? The important bit is if you are avoiding sin and if you don’t go to confession
 
Here is from the story of St Scholastica;

St. Scholastica, sister of St. Benedict, consecrated her life to God from her earliest youth. After her brother went to Monte Cassino, where he established his famous monastery, she took up her abode in the neighborhood at Plombariola, where she founded and governed a monastery of nuns, about five miles from that of St. Benedict, who, it appears, also directed his sister and her nuns. She visited her brother once a year, and as she was not allowed to enter his monastery, he went in company with some of his brethren to meet her at a house some distance away. These visits were spent in conferring together on spiritual matters. On one occasion they had passed the time as usual in prayer and pious conversation and in the evening they sat down to take their reflection. St. Scholastica begged her brother to remain until the next day. St. Benedict refused to spend the night outside his monastery. She had recourse to prayer and a furious thunderstorm burst so that neither St. Benedict nor any of his companions could return home. They spent the night in spiritual conferences. The next morning they parted to meet no more on earth. Three days later St. Scholastica died, and her holy brother beheld her soul in a vision as it ascended into heaven. He sent his brethren to bring her body to his monastery and laid it in the tomb he had prepared for himself. She died about the year 543, and St. Benedict followed her soon after. Her feast day is February 10th.


If it was ok for St Scholastica then maybe there are exceptions to the rule for us too.
 
XJ9 said:
The Church’s stance on Cohabitation has always been fuzzy to me. If any non-Catholic were to ask me about it, I couldn’t give them a straight answer, I’m afraid. So, I figure I’ll just ask outright.

Does the Church teach that Cohabitation is a grave sin in any and all circumstances, or is it a case-by-case decision one must make prudently?

Some instances of cohabitation strike me as obviously sinful, no question. For instance, a boyfriend staying the night in his girlfriend’s dorm or two engaged people flat-out living together.

On the other hand, there seem to be at least some instances in which staying the night at the house of a person of the opposite sex isn’t sinful. For instance, in an emergency situation in which a hotel or AirBnB aren’t viable options.

(name removed by moderator)ut very welcome.
Click to expand...
 
I think this is one of those things where you just have to be ok with “fuzzy”. It’s a decision each person needs to make for his-/herself. A couple needs to honestly look at their situation and say: 1) Do we really need to do this for some reason? 2) Can I actually restrain myself?

If by cohabitation you mean our culture’s version of it where two people decide to live together, without commitment, and without a future plan in sight for marrying/finding separate housing, Then I don’t think a Catholic can justify doing that.
 
XJ9 said:
On the other hand, there seem to be at least some instances in which staying the night at the house of a person of the opposite sex isn’t sinful. For instance, in an emergency situation in which a hotel or AirBnB aren’t viable options.
Click to expand...
That isn’t cohabitation. When the Church talks of cohabitation, they mean two people living together in a sexual relationship.
 
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When my wife and I were engaged, we were working in different countries. I had arranged my schedule so that I would spend 5 weeks where I was working, where I rented a basement suite, and then 2 weeks where she was working/living. During those 2 weeks I would stay with her and her mom. I had my own room and own bathroom. I paid them rent. I don’t feel remotely guilty about it. We had 2 weeks out of 7 to see each other.
 
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