Staying with family...how much to give?

[skigirl1689]

When my family visits extended family 500 miles from home, my one aunt welcomes us to stay at her and my uncle’s house. They are always very generous, and we try to pitch in where possible, but we sometimes feel like we’re imposing. We usually are there 3 to 4 nights, but two days are spent at family gatherings (my mom’s side of the family is also in the same area).

I’m trying to figure out how much to give them, though I’m sure they’d say we don’t have to give anything. I know a hotel for 3 nights would cost $300+, and that’s if it’s a good deal.

Any ideas are appreciated!

 

[newf]

I think it’s always nice to take them out for dinner one night. And let your aunt know beforehand that you would like to do that.

Another way of giving is just to help your aunt with cooking and cleaning while you are there. Just pitch in as you already said you were going to do.

How many of you will be staying? Do you have children with you? If so, how old?

 

[Avocadomom]

I wouldn’t give family cash.

Take them out to a really nice dinner one night. Run to the grocery store and buy the things your kids will want to eat and some extra groceries. A couple bottles of nice wine or a few 6-packs of beer for the adults.

Be REALLY good guests, too! That makes it all the nicer when the houseguests are neat and tidy, and take at least a couple hours a day to give us a “break” from the company while they go out or spend time quietly in their room/s.

It is also appropriate to send them a lovely thank-you card with flowers or a gift card after you return home.

 

[skigirl1689]

There’s four of us…my parents, myself (I am in my mid-20s and still live at home because I have a physical disability, but try to help out as much as I can…my mom and I were brainstorming this issue together), and my college-age sister. So no little kids.

It’s just we can’t reciprocate fully as they rarely travel to where we live…they’ve visited maybe twice in 25 years. It’s just easier for our family to visit them as most of the family is in that area.

 

[Linybaby]

I think is so sweet of you to think of your hosts and want to do as much to thank them for their kindness.

IMO I would be really helpful guests, help out with dinner, make your beds in the morning, keep your room you are staying in tidy. I would also go to the store to buy some food for yourselves and some extra for your hosts.

A nice dinner out as your treat is wonderful to. A bottle of wine/beer so they can enjoy after your visit (if they like that) or a plant or flowers (if not the alcoholic beverages).

And of course when you get home I would send a thank you card for their hospitality to you and your family is always a plus

 

[Gordon_Sims]

I’ve never charged family or friends to stay with us, and I can’t think of a time that anyone who accepted an invitation to stay ever offered to pay, provided their own food or took us out to dinner. I’ve taken our hosts out to dinner several times when we’ve stayed with family/friends, but if anyone ever told me they expected it after having extended an invitation, I don’t think I’d stay with them again. If someone told me upfront that they’d want me to pay, bring my own food or take them out to dinner, that would be fine, but if someone invited me to stay, offering money to them when we left wouldn’t cross my mind.

That being said, we did stay at a friend’s vacation home one year. We were the first people to use the house that spring so we opened it up, aired it out, cut the lawn, cleaned out the gutters, etc. Our understanding was that, even though they offered us the use of the house free of charge, the large amount of work we did compensated them more than their normal friends & family rate would have. We also stocked their pantries and left plenty of food, drinks, cleaning supplies, etc. We later found out that they told all our mutual friends that we had stiffed them on the rent. Ever since then we’ve made sure to get confirmation that no payment was expected when someone has offered to let us stay somewhere.

 

[aicirt]

Check out Omaha Steaks which are always appreciated and take them out to dinner.

Two motel rooms would cost each couple at least $100 a night plus three meals a day.