C
chotock
Guest
I remekmber the first time I acted as an EMHC, that feeling of handing the Body of Christ to my fellow faithful. I have had the privilage of doing this in Masses celebrated by many different prists as well as our phenomenal Bishop.
In the past few months I have made the decision after much prayer and study that I prefer receiving the Host, personally, on the tongue. Of course this caught a few priets of guard but most have adapter very well. That is until last evening.
I had already considered my unworthiness of acting as an EMHC due to what I have been reading in the Catechism, Canon Code and, surprisingly, the Scriptures (in persona Christi and the story of the Last Supper, not lost on me). Last evening I was called upon to participate more than just my EMHC duties, I was act to help usher and take up collection as well as process with one of the candles. In the Sacristy we were kind of scrambling due to there being a Chiefs game which caused some people to attend earlier Masses (I pray that was the case). Well our server was unclear as to when to ring the bells (a new thing in our parish, praise God).
I have to add here, that the presider last evening is a very great man and priest, one that has inspired countless people over nearly 60 years of ordination. He is a wonderful advisor and has helped me to clarify and increase my prayer life. I love this man dearly and have an incredible amount of respect for him.
The presider said not to worry about them bells. I would normally not worry about this, but something inside started waking up. Throughtout the Mass I became more and more agitated, the music was bugging me for one thing (didn’t sing a psalm, had something from Isaiah I believe), and then Eucharist started.
The Sanctus, a hymn of praise, should be sang by everyone not just the Cantor (no matter how wonderful his voice is). I felt like a visitor to a concert where the audience is allowed to sing the chorus. The Agnus Dei, granted we have some sort of dispensation in the US to substitute other phrases for the Agnus Dei or some sort or special whatever, but I truely do love either the Latin original or true English translation, there are wonderful arrangements for the music of the Agnus Dei.
Now, this is where I am feeling extreme pain. When I went up to receive with the other EMHC’s (after the presidor has taken the Chalice) I bent over to the priest (he is a bit on the very short side) with my tongue out, I thought far enough, and he freaked. I mean freaked. He at first acted as if he did not want to give me communion. I refused to hold out my hands so he said, “If you want to do it this way then stick out your tongue”.
How embarrassing. How humiliating. I can’t do this job any more. I should never have taken this job, it is not my place to be up there. Maybe others can reconcile it, I can not. THose who can, God Bless You, but for me, I have to step down. It hurts. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. Things are getting better in my parish, but they are far from being complete and frankly, I need something more. I decided that I am going to stich around to help my Catechumen through to Pentacost then I am going to change parishes.
I am not a big fan of the TLM, and the NO is lacking. I know of a parish that has a wonderful NO, and perhaps I will start attending the TLM more often. I just feel like I have been abandoned, selfish thought huh. I just wish I didn’t feel like the event that should be giving me life, is really killing me inside.
sorry for the length here.
In Christ and Mary,
Craig
In the past few months I have made the decision after much prayer and study that I prefer receiving the Host, personally, on the tongue. Of course this caught a few priets of guard but most have adapter very well. That is until last evening.
I had already considered my unworthiness of acting as an EMHC due to what I have been reading in the Catechism, Canon Code and, surprisingly, the Scriptures (in persona Christi and the story of the Last Supper, not lost on me). Last evening I was called upon to participate more than just my EMHC duties, I was act to help usher and take up collection as well as process with one of the candles. In the Sacristy we were kind of scrambling due to there being a Chiefs game which caused some people to attend earlier Masses (I pray that was the case). Well our server was unclear as to when to ring the bells (a new thing in our parish, praise God).
I have to add here, that the presider last evening is a very great man and priest, one that has inspired countless people over nearly 60 years of ordination. He is a wonderful advisor and has helped me to clarify and increase my prayer life. I love this man dearly and have an incredible amount of respect for him.
The presider said not to worry about them bells. I would normally not worry about this, but something inside started waking up. Throughtout the Mass I became more and more agitated, the music was bugging me for one thing (didn’t sing a psalm, had something from Isaiah I believe), and then Eucharist started.
The Sanctus, a hymn of praise, should be sang by everyone not just the Cantor (no matter how wonderful his voice is). I felt like a visitor to a concert where the audience is allowed to sing the chorus. The Agnus Dei, granted we have some sort of dispensation in the US to substitute other phrases for the Agnus Dei or some sort or special whatever, but I truely do love either the Latin original or true English translation, there are wonderful arrangements for the music of the Agnus Dei.
Now, this is where I am feeling extreme pain. When I went up to receive with the other EMHC’s (after the presidor has taken the Chalice) I bent over to the priest (he is a bit on the very short side) with my tongue out, I thought far enough, and he freaked. I mean freaked. He at first acted as if he did not want to give me communion. I refused to hold out my hands so he said, “If you want to do it this way then stick out your tongue”.
How embarrassing. How humiliating. I can’t do this job any more. I should never have taken this job, it is not my place to be up there. Maybe others can reconcile it, I can not. THose who can, God Bless You, but for me, I have to step down. It hurts. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. Things are getting better in my parish, but they are far from being complete and frankly, I need something more. I decided that I am going to stich around to help my Catechumen through to Pentacost then I am going to change parishes.
I am not a big fan of the TLM, and the NO is lacking. I know of a parish that has a wonderful NO, and perhaps I will start attending the TLM more often. I just feel like I have been abandoned, selfish thought huh. I just wish I didn’t feel like the event that should be giving me life, is really killing me inside.
sorry for the length here.
In Christ and Mary,
Craig
Cut yourself some slack, you don’t have to be perfect either. God works with us in all our imperfections.
