Steps for a Catholic Wedding--Premarital Inventory and Marriage Preparation Course

[ColeenT]

Hi everybody,

I am planning to get married soon. Both my fiance and I are Roman Catholic and just completed the “Catholic Engaged Encounter” course.

I have several questions (all related): What are the steps to get married at church?

What is the “Premarital Inventory”? Do we have to do it also even if we attended the Engaged Encounters?

Regarding the baptismal certificate required by the Catholic Church, does it have to include records of other sacraments (communion and confirmation)? I’m asking because I’m a foreigner living in the U.S., and I am not sure how it works here… I am also trying to find out from my hometown what the baptismal certificate includes (just in case if I need additional documents).

Another question–I have been “on” and “off” church for a while, only in the sense of not going every Sunday to church, although I have been attending mass every Sunday for a while. Also, because of the place where I live, and because I attend mass at different churches, etc., I never got registered at any of them. Is this a problem? Is the priest going to ask me for proof of parish registration?

As you can see, I’m a little bit lost. Any help will be appreciated.

Thanks,
C.

 

[passus]

I would suggest that you and your fiancee go together to the parish where you would like to be married and schedule an appointment with the pastor for pre-Cana counseling, which generally begins 4 to 6 months prior to the date of the wedding.

The church office would have the answers to your questions regarding parish registration requirements and whether or not proof of conferral of other sacraments is required. The fact that you are not from the US and do not have a “home parish” here (I am assuming) complicates matters slightly.

When you meet with the parish priest, he will ask you and your fiancee all about your history at which point you can explain to him that you have attended the CEC weekend. The premarital inventory you’re referring to should be included in your counseling.

God bless.

 

[Phemie]

I think the Premarital Inventory is what we call the Premarital Investigation:
Do you know what an oath is?
Do you understand that you are giving this information under oath?

Name
Address
Date & place of birth
Parents’ name & address
Date & Place of baptism
Date & Place of confirmation
Parish of residence and how long have you lived there

Are you free to get married?
Have you been married before
Do you understand that marriage is for life?
That you will need to be faithful?
Are you able to have sex?
Is there any reason why you can’t marry this person?

All of these in some shape or form.

Yes, your certificate of baptism is expected to list Confirmation and any Marriage celebrated in the Church. That’s why they require a recent (usually within 6 months) certificate.

As for parish, it’s possible that you may run into problems because your geographical parish is where you live, not necessarily where you’re registered. It’s also quite possible that the priest will just do the paperwork in that regard without ever mentioning it to you.

 

[1ke]

What are the steps to get married at church?

This is a question for your parish priest. The specfic premarital preparation programs are established at the diocesan level, and the procedures at the parish level.

What is the “Premarital Inventory”?

Another question that only your priest can answer. We would merely be speculating. It might be the FOCCUS test, and it might be some other instrument your diocese chooses to use. That term might also refer to the premarital investigation regarding freedom to marry. Depends upon how your parish is using the term.

Do we have to do it also even if we attended the Engaged Encounters?

This is a question for your priest. However, the fact that you have attended Engaged Encounter seems to indicate you’ve met with your priest already. So, did he not explain everything?

Regarding the baptismal certificate required by the Catholic Church, does it have to include records of other sacraments (communion and confirmation)? I’m asking because I’m a foreigner living in the U.S., and I am not sure how it works here… I am also trying to find out from my hometown what the baptismal certificate includes (just in case if I need additional documents).

When your home parish sends the baptismal certificate it should include all Sacraments that you have received.

Another question–I have been “on” and “off” church for a while, only in the sense of not going every Sunday to church, although I have been attending mass every Sunday for a while. Also, because of the place where I live, and because I attend mass at different churches, etc., I never got registered at any of them. Is this a problem? Is the priest going to ask me for proof of parish registration?

You should be registered in a parish. And, what the priest will require of you will vary, so it’s best to ask him.

As you can see, I’m a little bit lost. Any help will be appreciated.

Honestly, you need to talk to your priest. The marriage preparation requirements vary by diocese.

 

[1ke]

which generally begins 4 to 6 months prior to the date of the wedding.

It is more like 6-12 months in most diocese.

 

[Phemie]

When your home parish sends the baptismal certificate it should include all Sacraments that you have received.

No, only baptism, confirmation and marriage.

We don’t notify baptismal parishes of First Communion or reconciliation and we are not required to record them although most parishes seem to.

 

[1ke]

No, only baptism, confirmation and marriage.

We don’t notify baptismal parishes of First Communion or reconciliation and we are not required to record them although most parishes seem to.

Well, ok, I didn’t mean “all” literally. But, I suppose I should have been specific that it would list Baptism, Confirmation and Marriage-- not just Baptism.

 

[benedictgal]

Another question that only your priest can answer. We would merely be speculating. It might be the FOCCUS test, and it might be some other instrument your diocese chooses to use. That term might also refer to the premarital investigation regarding freedom to marry. Depends upon how your parish is using the term.

The FOCCUS test is an exam that has 100 questions that you answer bubbling Y N or U (Unsure). There are no right or wrong answers. It is preferable that you and your fiance do this test separately.

The test asks you questions about your faith life, finances, fidelity, family life (including relations with future in-laws and the matter of children), sexuality and other relationship questions.

I used to grade them while the rector was interviewing the couple. Once he sees the results, he determines whether or not there will be some serious issues down the road for the couple.

If there were problems, he would meet with them more often to make sure that these were ironed out.

Regarding the issue of your birth certificate, it would be a good idea to start sending for it now. I live in a diocese that borders Mexico. Often, folks will marry someone from Mexico and we will need to secure their birth certificates. We encourage the party from the foreign country to obtain their certificates as soon as possible. Even in Nuevo Laredo, it may take a little longer as the record keeping isn’t as quick as it is on the Texas side.

 

[rkrispies]

First off, congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Having been through all of this in the past 6-12 months myself, here is what my experience was:

1. Get baptismal certificates for both you & your fiance. Both of our parishes included confirmation and Eucharist information as well. They also have spaces for marriage info and ordination info, but those will probably be blank.
2. Meet with the priest at the church you will be getting married in. Even if he is not the priest who will officiate the ceremony and celebrate the mass, you need to coordinate through him for paperwork and such. This may include the basic info to make sure you are old enough and understand the commitment you are making, as well as the FOCUUS(sp?) test to see where you and your fiance need to communicate better.
3. If you are going to have another priest other than the pastor officiate, make sure you get him copies of EVERYTHING and meet with him as well. He might tell you he doesn’t need it, but get copies to him just to be sure.
4. Glad to hear you did the Engaged Encounter. We did that one too and LOVED every minute of it. In most cases, that covers the PreCana requirements, but check with the priest(s) to be sure.

Beyond that, once you get through the paperwork and talk to all the clergy involved, take a breath and relax. The planning is the worst part!

Chris

 

[benedictgal]

First off, congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Having been through all of this in the past 6-12 months myself, here is what my experience was:

1. Get baptismal certificates for both you & your fiance. Both of our parishes included confirmation and Eucharist information as well. They also have spaces for marriage info and ordination info, but those will probably be blank.
2. Meet with the priest at the church you will be getting married in. Even if he is not the priest who will officiate the ceremony and celebrate the mass, you need to coordinate through him for paperwork and such. This may include the basic info to make sure you are old enough and understand the commitment you are making, as well as the FOCCUS test to see where you and your fiance need to communicate better.
3. If you are going to have another priest other than the pastor officiate, make sure you get him copies of EVERYTHING and meet with him as well. He might tell you he doesn’t need it, but get copies to him just to be sure.
4. Glad to hear you did the Engaged Encounter. We did that one too and LOVED every minute of it. In most cases, that covers the PreCana requirements, but check with the priest(s) to be sure.

Beyond that, once you get through the paperwork and talk to all the clergy involved, take a breath and relax. The planning is the worst part!

Chris

I might also add that if you are getting another priest from another parish (or another diocese), you also need to secure prior delegation from your pastor. If the priest is coming from another diocese, he needs to provide your diocese with a letter from his bishop (or the chancellor of his diocese) stating that he is a priest of good standing in his diocese. We had to do that when my grandmother died and my parochial vicar had to celebrate the funeral Mass in Austin. Letters were exchanged so that he would be permitted to do this.

Also, and this applies to the actual execution of the plans, get together with your pastor as soon as possible regarding art and environment. If you were to have your wedding during Lent (some parishes do permit this), the flowers and the music have to be low-key. You also should respect the decorations that the Church has put up for the seasons. This means no Christmas tree during Advent. The music should also be hammered out. Make sure that the person you choose to do the music for the wedding realizes that this is a Catholic liturgy and that they need to be familiar with the Church’s requirements (no secular music; singing the parts of the Mass as they are written; appropriateness of hymns). Your pastor will help you out on that one.

I know that I am throwing a lot of information at you, more than what you probably wanted, but, having gone through about 100+ of these, it’s better to be forewarned than forlorn.