Sterilization to save marriage and possibly spouse's soul :

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DJgang

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Hypothetical situation, if I may…:o

Sarah and John are married with three children, and have lost two children to miscarriages.

To start the story, both of them are Protestant. But after many years of studying the Catholic Faith, Sarah decides during the time she is pregnant with child #2 that she may convert one day.

She knows all the teachings of the Church and doesn’t go back on birth control pills after the birth of child #2. Then after using her own methold of NFP, child #3 is conceived. John is somewhat upset but accepting.

Child #3 is born and that’s where it gets hard for her.

John is ill all the time, avoiding sex because of fear of pregnancy…so much goes on…even Sarah fears pregnancy, but she refuses to go on the BCP again, ever.

(meantime, remember, Sarah has not converted to the Church , she is still discerning)

One year after child #3 is born, Sarah schedules the tubal.

She knows that she will regret it. She knows what the Catholic Church teaches. She feels that her marriage is falling apart because John doesn’t believe in being open to life.

She wonders if John got sterilized, would he ever be truly sorry. If he doesn’t think it’s sinful, what about HIS soul?

Sarah has a tubal.

A year later, Sarah converts to the Catholic Church. John does not. She has no idea if John will ever convert.

During her first confession, she confesses her submission to have a tubal. Her regret. She knows that she is forgiven…but she doesn’t feel forgiven.

Did Sarah help to save her marriage, her spouse’s soul?
 
DJgang said:
Hypothetical situation, if I may…:o

Sarah and John are married with three children, and have lost two children to miscarriages.

To start the story, both of them are Protestant. But after many years of studying the Catholic Faith, Sarah decides during the time she is pregnant with child #2 that she may convert one day.

She knows all the teachings of the Church and doesn’t go back on birth control pills after the birth of child #2. Then after using her own methold of NFP, child #3 is conceived. John is somewhat upset but accepting.

Child #3 is born and that’s where it gets hard for her.

John is ill all the time, avoiding sex because of fear of pregnancy…so much goes on…even Sarah fears pregnancy, but she refuses to go on the BCP again, ever.

(meantime, remember, Sarah has not converted to the Church , she is still discerning)

One year after child #3 is born, Sarah schedules the tubal.

She knows that she will regret it. She knows what the Catholic Church teaches. She feels that her marriage is falling apart because John doesn’t believe in being open to life.

She wonders if John got sterilized, would he ever be truly sorry. If he doesn’t think it’s sinful, what about HIS soul?

Sarah has a tubal.

A year later, Sarah converts to the Catholic Church. John does not. She has no idea if John will ever convert.

During her first confession, she confesses her submission to have a tubal. Her regret. She knows that she is forgiven…but she doesn’t feel forgiven.

Did Sarah help to save her marriage, her spouse’s soul?
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There is no way to know the answer to that question. However she did not give John the chance to learn and grow in love and service in their marriage. Nor did she go get trained in a method of NFP . So she made plenty of mistakes . However , she was sorry and she is forgiven.
 
Sara should ask her priest if he feels she also committed the sin of presumption “I’ll commit this sin and then just go to Confession later…”
 
kage_ar said:
Sara should ask her priest if he feels she also committed the sin of presumption “I’ll commit this sin and then just go to Confession later…”
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Hmmm.

To me that arise this question:

What if she was unbaptized at the time she did it and then gets baptized, will the baptism still wash away all her sins that she commited meanwhile she was in the process of joining the church, even though she knew also at that time it was a sin?

That could apply to every sin and every person who wants to join the church and is not baptized.

Usually someone who wants to join still abstain from those sins but just hypothetical.
 
DJgang said:
Did Sarah help to save her marriage, her spouse’s soul?
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We are responsible for our own actions. Not those of others. Although we are supposed to help our spouse whenever we can to get to heaven, we can’t ultimately decide what they do. We can encourage others to do the right thing, but we really can’t save their soul, that’s their job.

It’s also important to remember that doing something sinful is wrong no matter what the outcome is. If you have to do something sinful to save your marriage, your marriage is seriously messed up to begin with.
 
The ends can not justify the means. One could stop many abortions by murdering the abortionists - but morally it is still deadly. I

IMHO a core requirement for marriage is openness to life. How can a marriage be saved, by redefining what marriage is?
 
DJgang said:
…During her first confession, she confesses her submission to have a tubal. Her regret. She knows that she is forgiven…but she doesn’t feel forgiven.
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The reason that Christ instituted *outward *signs of grace is so that we would know that the grace has been given.

If Sarah has a serious problem with feeling forgiven, she should go to a good priest and discuss this with him; he should be able to explain this to her, and help her if she has signs of excessive scrupulousity, which this may well not be.

Another aspect is that the little bit of penance given at confession is not all the penance we might need to do–we could still need to go to Purgatory–and it might help if Sarah during the discussion is also able to discuss with the priest some of the actions she might take.

Look at it this way: someone might confess a theft and receive a Hail Mary for penance, but one of the other things he or she would need to so is to make restitution, return what was stolen or make up for it in some other way.

Chapters 29–33 of the Baltimore Catechism explain this well.
 
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