Stick with same Confessor or go to first opportunity?

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Neithan

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Sometimes if I fall into a mortal sin I will rush to the first available opportunity for Confession, even if this is at a different parish and with a priest who is not my usual Confessor. Now lately I’ve been struggling with some grave habits that have resurfaced and have been going to frequent Confession, sometimes twice a week.

I happened to go to the same priest at another parish two weeks in a row, and each of those times being only a few days after making my usual weekly confession. The second week he told me he had “never had anyone like that… going to confession every 3 or 4 days.” I told him I was struggling with habits of grave sin and wanted to confess them asap, but he called this “abuse of the sacrament” and expressed concern that I wasn’t taking it seriously. He was visibly upset, and told me he would rather give his time to his own parishioners, and advised that I only go to my parish priest as Confessor, so he can better help me with my problems.

This seemed like sound advice, although I admittedly resented the accusation that I didn’t take the sacrament seriously, or was even abusing it. The problem is that my parish priest is a very busy man, and very difficult to get ahold of. He has confessions on Saturdays, but if I were to require the sacrament earlier in the week, he could be booked with other appointments and I’d have to wait several days, possibly in a state of mortal sin. Is it wrong to go to a different parish for Confession in this case? Is it always better to stick with one Confessor when frequent Confession is required (i.e. struggling with habits of grave sin)?

I thought about making an Act of Perfect Contrition after a fall and just waiting to confess with my parish priest, but honestly, I feel like I am in a war of attrition against sin, and cannot be sure that my contrition is perfect; I don’t want to give my soul the benefit of the doubt on such a serious issue. I hope that isn’t scrupulous.

Pax Christi
 
Two dangers lurk here - developing a dose of scruples and abusing the sacrament. While it seems a good idea to confess ASAP it can build an attitude of compulsion (as in scruples) or carelessness (well I don’t have to really work on avoiding this sin because I can find a priest and confess when I want to).
 
Acts of perfect contrition are not a very common thing so get to confession when you have a mortal sin. You need to attempt to to avoid falling into that sin habitually as well as the sin of presumption( "I can do this sin now and just confess it later). It is nice to go to confession with a regular priest so that he knows your tendencies and your struggles but in the case of mortal sin I would say take any confession you can get. I will pray for you.

God BLess,
Matt
 
Also… be careful not to focus on sin as the point about which your spirituality revolves. Sin, whether we are committing it more or less, mortally or venially, originally or habitually is not the measuring stick by which we qualify our relationship with God. Simply, if we are struggling habitually then there is more room in our life for prayer… our bad habits (vices) are blessings when we replace them with good habits (virtues). And while the habit of going to confession at the earliest opportunity is laudable, you need to cultivate virtue in every way possible.
pax et bonum,
joeyc
 
My feeling is that if you need to go frequently, then go. Some folks struggle with things that are addictions or have an addictive nature about them. Really, Neithan, the ideal would be one confessor who would know you and what your particular struggles are, and could not only help you with confession, but also maybe some positive advice and words of wisdom and encouragement. I think it is good that you want to confess, but maybe some guidance would also be helpful.
 
A wise priest once told me, “unless the reason to not commit a sin becomes stronger than the desire, you will sin again.”

So, I would take the advice of the priest, to stay with your confessor. But, I would also take a look at your sin and understand the reason why its wrong.

However, always turn to God and ask for forgiveness and for the strength to avoid sin.

Jim
 
You should go the first opportunity–if you are truly sorry for your sins you will deal with a grumpy priest (make it part of your contrition and it is a great way to learn humility.)
I’ve never heard of having to go to your parish for confession. In fact as I understand, a lot of Catholics drive far, far away from their parishes to go to Confession. My grandfather use to drive 40 miles into the city (but it didn’t matter because all the priests knew him anyway:) )
While I try to stick with a regular confessor, sometimes it is just not plausible given his schedule and my schedule. Sometimes I need to go only once a month–just to get lots of venial sins off my chest and for the grace and strength of the sacrament. Othertimes, it seems like I am under attack and out of necessity, I have to go two or three times a week–my only daily goal every morning is to receive the Eucharist so if I am in a state of mortal sin, I can’t wait until Saturdays.
 
You might be in need of a spiritual director and / or a counselor.
 
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