Still facing backlash from conversion

[Whitacre_Girl]

You really should… Then he won’t have any energy left after dealing with us.

Please refer him here!! You sound like you’ve been going it yourself for far too long, you need a break

Thank you. I sent him the information its in his hands. Whatever. I am now puzzling over deleing him from my facebook or both deleting and blocking him…

 

[beckycmarie]

A couple suggestions:

1. Unfriend this guy on facebook.
2. Read the post below by DBT on maintaining your peace:

From the thread **Does the arguing help us reach mystical union? **

I’ve got a few simple guidelines that have helped me navigate this issue that’s served me well for the 5+ years I’ve been coming here.

First, St. John of the Cross teaches that the purification of our will of all it’s selfish clingings (opinions, opinions and more opinions) is typically one of the last things to occur in most people. So I’m not suprised at all by the “human-ness” we see around here . . . even amongst those who consider themselves knowledgeable and devout.

Second, St. John of the Cross also teaches we are to guard our interior peace very closely . . . and this is a very hard lessen to learn. Sometimes we think we can be a force of good simply through a well written turn of a phrase . . . and we assume others can be persuaded by our good thoughts and intentions. But often we are sadly mistaken . . . especially when we don’t make wise choices about what we read and respond to on these forums.

Bottom-line: if we find our peace disturbed by what we see on these forums - can’t recollect ourselves in prayer, composing posts in our mind when we should be doing other things, having mental arguements with one of the bullies - then it’s good to take our leave. Simply put, we’ve become “attached” and are “inordinately clinging.” And very little good ever comes when we’re in that state. So a good approach is to limit our viewing/posting to those discussions in which people are being raised up . . . and not torn down. Hearts can’t be changed if they’re not open in the first place. In such situations we’d do well to follow the counsel of the Saints that “God will take care of His own.”

Lastly, if we feel compelled we “must” jump in one of those contentious discussions it’s best to get in and get out quickly . . . again so that peace can be maintained. The way I see it, the post will be positively noticed by “whom it was meant to serve” – ie, typically those following along with an open mind but not necessarily commenting. And, by definition, that excludes the bullies so belaboring our point serves little useful purpose anyway.

Hope this helps,
Dave

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Thank you Becky, that’s good medicine.

I guess what hasa me more fired up about this than most is this guy used to be a valued spiritual leader back inthe day. I mean, when I converted and my pastor basically disowned me (that was incredibly painful), it stunk. But he didn’t insult me personally or my faith in Christ. THis man has. He was a youth leader, and a trusted advisor. He has not only disowned me, but he has insulted me, and judged my relationship with my loving saviour.

DH says to give it 2 or 3 more days before defriending him so as to avoid further backlash that would inevitable cause. If I wait a few days he may not even notice. Which would be best.

 

[surritter]

I was actually going to go through RCIA this year until a series of fights with my mom led me to postpone that (I still go to mass every Sunday). She told me I am betraying my family and that she would not attend my wedding if I had a Catholic wedding (I’m not currently engaged…). And this was from my own mother…

Stay strong. I know the pain and I’ll certainly be praying for you. I know that in my selfishness I think, this is horrible I am the ONLY person who has this burden! And clearly, that’s not the case. Appropriate use of venting is healthy sometimes, so vent away!!

Sbaum – I don’t know your racial heritage, but most likely you can gently tell your mom that she has betrayed her ancestors, because if you go back far enough, her family wasn’t Protestant! (Protestantism was invented in the 1500s, and her ancestors were actually Catholic before that!)

 

[quacker66]

I agree to daring him to put his knowledge to the test by coming on this site and giving his arguments.

Another thing: Keating’s Fundamentalism and Cathothoicism - It’s something like that. It’s an excellent book on the various arguments Protestants and evangelicals use to put down Catholics. It explains where these people went wrong in their arguments, where they won’t go, etc. I think it would also support your growing faith.

God be with you.

 

[sbaum]

Sbaum – I don’t know your racial heritage, but most likely you can gently tell your mom that she has betrayed her ancestors, because if you go back far enough, her family wasn’t Protestant! (Protestantism was invented in the 1500s, and her ancestors were actually Catholic before that!)

Distant distant relatives, probably. Both sides of my family are German, but we’re the only practicing Christians at this point, and more than a few generations back. So I think part of it stems from the fact that we’re already kind of isolated and black sheep within our family at this point, and she feels like she’s losing allies. It’s been a long roller coaster ride, prayers would be appreciated. I know that God can do the impossible, and that ultimately I do want to follow his will for me, it’s extremely hard with the heartbreak it causes my mom… I know she is doing it out of love with the right intentions, even if it comes out wrong or is ultimately misguided.