Still get nervous about Confessing

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You all have been wonderful in asnwering my questions. I really thank you that you have taken the time out to do this.

I think this may be my last Confession question and then I can go to another area. 😃

I am a Convert. And yet I still find when going to Confession, I am nervous and anxious and sometimes down right scared. And yet I know that the peace I will get from the Sacrament outweighes the nervousness and anxiety. I know the graces of the Sacrament.

Does anyone have suggestions that I can somehow cut down on the anxiety going to Confession? I do not let it keep me from Confessing, but it sure is hard in the time leading up to Confession.

I don’t know what I am anxious about, the telling of sins, the examininaton of conscience, I do not know.

And finally, what do you do in your lives to help you calm down before Confession if you do get nervous like me. Am I the only one that gets terrified of this?

Any thoughts are appreciated.

Thank you.
 
Just ask the Holy Spirit to be with you! He’s always eager to shower us with peace. 🙂
 
The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Nervousness is good. You know you’re a sinner. 🙂
 
I was a cradle Catholic, then left the Church for over 20 years. I was nervous as a child when I had to confess, and I was nervous when I came back. I’ve been nervous since then. I just assume that this is how it will be. I will never actually feel comfortable before I confess my sins. I don’t enjoy it. But I need the grace. So I do it. Just keep going, regardless of any anxiety.
 
I get nervous, too, and I am a cradle Catholic. Its very normal. What’s important is that you know Who awaits you there with love beyond compare and completely undeserved and overflowing mercy! You can mention your pre confession anxiety to your confessor. I sometimes confess emotions and attitudes that are not sins per se. I once confessed insomnia and it went away for a long time. Maybe some would say that’s silly to do, but I think if its something that’s very troubling to you, bring it to Our Lord. He wont think you’re silly for doing so.
 
I recall hearing a story some years back; I don’t remember where it occurred. A line of people were waiting in line for Confession. Some one notice that the bishop had just joined the end of the line. Of course they all stood aside and invited him to go next. He replied, " No thanks. I am no more of a hurry to go in there than you are." 😉
 
Don’t worry. I still get nervous every time.
But I can tell you I have never regretted going once I have finished.
Reminding myself of this helps me gain a little more control of my nerves.
👍
 
I can relate to your nervousness because I feel exactly the same way. I don’t think the nervousness will ever go away, but the level of anxiety has lessoned for me by going to my Priest that knows my anxiety (he hears it in my voice, I guess) and seems to be able to calmly talk to me and this seems to help quite a bit during the confession. It is only walking into confession that I go through the high anxiety and I pray during this time and that helps me quite a bit.
 
Wow, I am so happy I am not the only one.

And I am very happy that others too struggle to go to Confession, but the grace that is on the other side of Confessing my sins helps get me through the first part.

I have never mentioned to my Confessor that Confession makes me nervous, I will mention that next time I see him. That was good advice.

About the Bishop not wanting to be in a hurry any more than the other people, that is neat to know that clergy might struggle with this too.

You know it’s always hard to cross the hall to the Confessional, and to start, but once I get going, it’s like the nervousness goes away and this relief and peace just flood over me.

It’s just I thought maybe something was a bit abnormal with my nervousness, glad to hear that it’s normal. 🙂
 
Here are a couple of points to keep in mind.

First, our Lord is with the priest “in persona Christi.” You are talking to the priest and Jesus. This is our creator and the one that knows what we have done and what we have thought as well. In other words, the one on the other side of the screen knows everything you should say and is joy filled when you get it all out. The priest has heard everything you could and could not imagine so there is no need to feel squeemish due to his presence.

Second, and as said before, practice makes a difference. We can always gain partial and plenary indulgences if we practice the Sacrament of Penance roughly every two weeks. I go on the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month. The 1st Saturday fulfills the First Saturday Devotion which provides some benefits.

Finally, one more point, continue to visit different priests till you find one that is true to the Magisterium and follows the faith with obedience. You can tell by whether they do the rosary, have eucharistic adoration, and have confession more than once per week. If confession is “by appointment only” do not even bother. Go to a different parish.

Check out the parishes by zip code at www.masstimes.org.
 
Turtle,

What helps me are a couple of things:

~1: I pray a lot for courage, honesty, and openness before Confession – both during my Examen and during the confession itself. Usually my examen occurs over several days; that process also helps me to prepare – not so much to “calm me down,” as to make me realize how I have hurt Our Lord, hurt myself, strayed from the true path – and conversely how much I hunger to return to more intimate union with Him. That motivation helps me with my resolve, because the motivation then becomes more powerful than the fear.

~2: I have looked very hard and long for good confessors, and I insist on going only to priests who I consider to be sensitive, insightful, and comfortable with the fearfulness of penitents. What I also look for are priests who are interested in going deeper into how we replace our real needs with sin, and priests who will counsel on how (I) can avoid that reflexive tendency.

Whenever I avoid confession, and after I return to the Sacrament, 100% of the time I wonder why I stayed away, because the benefits far outweigh the anticipation, anxiety and fear.
🙂
 
Samuel63 said:
Here are a couple of points to keep in mind.

First, our Lord is with the priest “in persona Christi.” You are talking to the priest and Jesus. This is our creator and the one that knows what we have done and what we have thought as well. In other words, the one on the other side of the screen knows everything you should say and is joy filled when you get it all out. The priest has heard everything you could and could not imagine so there is no need to feel squeemish due to his presence.

Second, and as said before, practice makes a difference. We can always gain partial and plenary indulgences if we practice the Sacrament of Penance roughly every two weeks. I go on the 1st and 3rd Saturday each month. The 1st Saturday fulfills the First Saturday Devotion which provides some benefits.

Finally, one more point, continue to visit different priests till you find one that is true to the Magisterium and follows the faith with obedience. You can tell by whether they do the rosary, have eucharistic adoration, and have confession more than once per week. If confession is “by appointment only” do not even bother. Go to a different parish.

Check out the parishes by zip code at www.masstimes.org.
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Good post.

I did not know we culd gain an indulgence if we go to Confession every two weeks. That is even yet more motivation for me to go to Confession.

Yes I am still getting used to the priest being present in the Confessional. It’s so easy to Confess to God sometimes, but made so much harder when there is a priest involved.

I never really understood why we had to confess to a priest, other than the fact that is the way Catholics have been doing it, and that Jesus made it that way. I guess that’s what is nerveracking about it.
 
Elizabeth502 said:
Turtle,

What helps me are a couple of things:

~1: I pray a lot for courage, honesty, and openness before Confession – both during my Examen and during the confession itself. Usually my examen occurs over several days; that process also helps me to prepare – not so much to “calm me down,” as to make me realize how I have hurt Our Lord, hurt myself, strayed from the true path – and conversely how much I hunger to return to more intimate union with Him. That motivation helps me with my resolve, because the motivation then becomes more powerful than the fear.

~2: I have looked very hard and long for good confessors, and I insist on going only to priests who I consider to be sensitive, insightful, and comfortable with the fearfulness of penitents. What I also look for are priests who are interested in going deeper into how we replace our real needs with sin, and priests who will counsel on how (I) can avoid that reflexive tendency.

Whenever I avoid confession, and after I return to the Sacrament, 100% of the time I wonder why I stayed away, because the benefits far outweigh the anticipation, anxiety and fear.
🙂
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I am going to pray for courage to go to Confesion this Saturday, I have never thought to pray for that before Confession.

All these ideas and ways to think, this thread has been most helpful to me.
 
I’m so glad. Perhaps some of us will remember to pray with Turtle this Saturday. 🙂
 
Elizabeth502 said:
I’m so glad. Perhaps some of us will remember to pray with Turtle this Saturday. 🙂
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Please do, I would be very thankful for that. In fact I have already started to pray for the courage to go to Confession tomorrow.
 
Turtle_Turtle said:
You all have been wonderful in asnwering my questions. I really thank you that you have taken the time out to do this.

I think this may be my last Confession question and then I can go to another area. 😃

I am a Convert. And yet I still find when going to Confession, I am nervous and anxious and sometimes down right scared. And yet I know that the peace I will get from the Sacrament outweighes the nervousness and anxiety. I know the graces of the Sacrament.

Does anyone have suggestions that I can somehow cut down on the anxiety going to Confession? I do not let it keep me from Confessing, but it sure is hard in the time leading up to Confession.

I don’t know what I am anxious about, the telling of sins, the examininaton of conscience, I do not know.

And finally, what do you do in your lives to help you calm down before Confession if you do get nervous like me. Am I the only one that gets terrified of this?

Any thoughts are appreciated.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
It gets easier with time. I have been quite often (I think five or six times, and I was only just baptized not even two months ago), mainly so that I could become habituated to it and not feel that sharp anxiety every time.

It’s probably good to feel that way, though. You won’t have to feel that anxiety if you never have to go – and you’ll never have to go if you avoid grave sin!
 
sw85 said:
It gets easier with time. I have been quite often (I think five or six times, and I was only just baptized not even two months ago), mainly so that I could become habituated to it and not feel that sharp anxiety every time.

It’s probably good to feel that way, though. You won’t have to feel that anxiety if you never have to go – and you’ll never have to go if you avoid grave sin!
Click to expand...
😃

I need the graces of Confession in my life. Well less than 24 hours to go now, sighes. I know I will feel better on the other side of Confession.

I am wanting to go more than I am used to going, so I think over time, it will decrease in anxiety.

Thanks for posting.
 
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