Still need help understand nfp

[angell1]

well, I guess I should say, the reasons for nfp.

I know the church teaches that just causes are necessary. what would be an unjust cause to use it?

for scrupulous people like me, I think I would be worried that my reasons weren’t good enough

if I were married, I just really couldn’t see myself having more than one or two, due to my disability, I think it would be really hard to manage, for a myriad of reasons, or what if you felt called to a career that you really enjoyed

of course, there are people that insist that it can only be used for life and death issues, or extreme financial hardships, etC… but that’s probably not what the church is trying to say, is it?

any clarification would be helpful

 

[1ke]

well, I guess I should say, the reasons for nfp.

I know the church teaches that just causes are necessary. what would be an unjust cause to use it?

Unjust reasons would be those that do not conform to objective morality. For example, not wanting children because you would have to give up your size 2 jeans or you don’t want stretch marks, or you want a Volvo. These things are disordered.

for scrupulous people like me, I think I would be worried that my reasons weren’t good enough

Which is why you need counseling for your scupulosity.

if I were married, I just really couldn’t see myself having more than one or two, due to my disability, I think it would be really hard to manage, for a myriad of reasons, or what if you felt called to a career that you really enjoyed

A couple is called to discernment thoughout their marriage as to whether they can welcome a child at that time.

You cross each bridge as you come to it. If your disability makes having children, or many children, difficult then you and your husband may discern you need to avoid. I suggest you not worry about this until you are married.

of course, there are people that insist that it can only be used for life and death issues, or extreme financial hardships, etC… but that’s probably not what the church is trying to say, is it?

No, not at all. Stay away from those people.

any clarification would be helpful

Humane Vitae is not ambiguous and neither is the Catechism. Your scruples are clearly driving this. Get counseling.

 

[Convert1]

What 1ke said. Times two.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

At this point in your life you do not really need to understand unless you are about to get married or are married-which you aren’t. When the time comes for you to know these things your priest and Dr. can explain it to you. Sometimes I think you tread where Angels fear to tread or as in STAR TREAK, you tend TO GO WHERE NO ONE HAS GONE BEFORE. I know you are very intelligent and have an very inquisitive mind, but for now send it in another direction. Peace.

 

[Ron_Conte]

The reasons for using NFP must be proportionate to the effects of its use. Given only good intentions for using NFP (not selfish reasons), periodic abstinence from marital relations is not intrinsically evil (per Council of Trent). So the morality depends on the circumstances.

NFP can only be used very strictly, so that conception is very unlikely, for a grave reason. However, NFP can be used in the customary manner to space out the births of children and limit the overall number of children. The reasons for using NFP cannot be selfish or trivial; they need to be proportionate to the seriousness of this type of decision, since marriage is ordered toward the procreation of offspring.

 

[Bookcat]

The Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI

497. When is it moral to regulate births?

2368-2369
2399

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

498. What are immoral means of birth control?

2370-2372

Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

 

[angell1]

The Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI

497. When is it moral to regulate births?

2368-2369
2399

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

498. What are immoral means of birth control?

2370-2372

Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

I get that, how do you know if your reasons are serious enough? that was what I’m asking?

 

[1ke]

how do you know if your reasons are serious enough?

YOU decide. They are YOUR reasons. You simply have to decide, angel. No one, not the church, not anyone, is going to tell you that your reasons are not “good enough” reasons.

Your reasons should be in conformity with objective morality. As I said, things that are disordered like not wanting to put on weight or wanting a new car every three years, these things are not in conformity with objective morality. They are disordered.

You and your spouse looking at your physical or mental health, your ability to handle the children you have, your ability to provide basic needs for your family, your job or lack of job, other things going on in your life like caring for an elderly parent… take all these things, put them in a blender, mix them up, and then DECIDE.

Is this a decision you and your spouse have come to after prayer and discernment.

 

[Bookcat]

I get that, how do you know if your reasons are serious enough? that was what I’m asking?

The married couple would make a *judgement *about this before God with an informed and faithful conscience.

Prayer and counsel (such as from ones Priest etc) and research etc are helpful.

 

[nodito]

I have found this article helpful in the past. It speaks to your question directly.

theuniversityconcourse.com/article/1915.html

This is just a portion of it:

To the question: “When is it good to practice NFP?” There is only one perfectly true answer. It is this: “When love calls for it.”

Love is the meaning of life; the meaning of marriage; the meaning of human sexuality. It is (or should be), both explicitly and implicitly, the source and reference point for all our acts and judgments within marriage.

If a man notices that his wife is exhausted and overwhelmed, it is love in him to suppress his desire to embrace her sexually. (To insist on his “conjugal rights” at such a time would be an act of unlove.) Or, if a woman sees that her husband is being crushed by a too-heavy weight of responsibility, then it is love in her to put aside her longing to have another baby, and wait patiently for a better time. Or, if devoted parents notice that their children are suffering from too little attention, then they may, out of love, discipline their desires in order to be better able to attend to their education. Or, if a husband recognizes in his wife an extraordinary vocation—to teach, say, or to law—then he may, out of love, urge her to complete her studies before the duties of motherhood become consuming, so that when the call comes to use those gifts, she will be ready.

 

[Bookcat]

I have found this article helpful in the past. It speaks to your question directly.

To the question: “When is it good to practice NFP?” There is only one perfectly true answer. It is this: “When love calls for it.”

And Love and Truth go together…in living the criteria given by the Church

The Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI

497. When is it moral to regulate births?

2368-2369
2399

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

498. What are immoral means of birth control?

2370-2372

Every action - for example, direct sterilization or contraception - is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation.

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

 

[nodito]

And Love and Truth go together…in living the criteria given by the Church

Absolutely. I wasn’t contradicting the compendium in the least.