Stimulation without intercourse

[shipwrkd]

Can an elderly man who can no longer ejaculate or even keep tab A erect and his wife who has had a hysterectomy leaving slot B dry and painful stimulate each other sexually? Foreplay without intercourse as the objective even though both wish they could.

 

[DexUK]

I think charity would allow the expression of love in such a way between two such married people to be free of any stain of sin. They have had their married life, presumably faithfully and within the vows that they have taken for the love and support of each other. I can’t think of a priest in the world who would consider it a sin.

 

[sw85]

Can an elderly man who can no longer ejaculate or even keep tab A erect and his wife who has had a hysterectomy leaving slot B dry and painful stimulate each other sexually? Foreplay without intercourse as the objective even though both wish they could.

What in the world would be the point?

 

[shipwrkd]

What in the world would be the point?

Because it feels good??? Kinda like a back rub…only much better. After all, the nerves may be old, but they’re still there! It’s our way of continuing bonding.

 

[prstoessel]

If the intention is to start something and not finish, then that is a grave matter for sin. If they try to finish poperly, but do not succeed, then there is no sin.

 

[shipwrkd]

If the intention is to start something and not finish, then that is a grave matter for sin. If they try to finish poperly, but do not succeed, then there is no sin.

Define “try to finish properly”. If you mean penetration and attempted ejaculation, ain’t gonna happen. At least it hasn’t in several years. So does this mean we take a “hands off” approach the rest of our lives?

 

[prstoessel]

Finishing properly means the conjugal act must be attempted in order to preserve the sanctity of the act. To have foreplay with zero intention of attempting intercourse is not the proper use of the gift of sexuality.

There is not a defined answer to how far is too far other than to say it is a matter of conscience. Kissing and hugging would certainly be safe for most couples. But touching may not be, certainly if there is no capability or intention to complete the conjugal act.

Touching goes farther than the general need for affirmation and is usually associated with stimulation in preparation for intercourse. This is a struggle for most couples, because we like what feels good. I have a hard time with this, myself. But it does not absolve my responsibility to use God’s gifts the way they are intended.

 

[shipwrkd]

To have foreplay with zero intention of attempting intercourse is not the proper use of the gift of sexuality.

Intention and reality become distant as one ages. Even though we may question intention, desire is always present…as is reality. There’s a relevant saying that says “you only fail when you stop trying”
This seems to be another of those “gray” areas with our Church and I tend to lean towards DexUK’s opinion and keep trying…who knows.

 

[prstoessel]

Intention and reality become distant as one ages. Even though we may question intention, desire is always present…as is reality. There’s a relevant saying that says “you only fail when you stop trying”
This seems to be another of those “gray” areas with our Church and I tend to lean towards DexUK’s opinion and keep trying…who knows.

It truly is a matter of conscience, as there is no specific church document that lists what is/is not acceptable. Love each other. Be true to each other. Be reverent of the gift of each other and the sexuality you two share as God’s gift.

.001 effort is still greater than zero effort.

Peace.

 

[shipwrkd]

It truly is a matter of conscience, as there is no specific church document that lists what is/is not acceptable. Love each other. Be true to each other. Be reverent of the gift of each other and the sexuality you two share as God’s gift.

.001 effort is still greater than zero effort.

Peace.

:thumbsup:Constantly:thumbsup:
Thanks for your insight.