Stole for Confessions

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MissMichal

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Hi all,

My priest has accepted an assignment in another state, and I would like to make a gift for him. Since he was a great help to me in getting to know and love the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and I am quite talented in the area of sewing and embroidery, I would really like to make him a stole for hearing confessons. Would this be an appropriate gift? What are the specifications for the stole itself? I know it needs to be made of purple wool, but is there anything else I need to know? Would it be appropriate for it to be made of knitted fabric, or does it need to be woven? What about the decoration? Any help would be appreciated.

Pax,
-S-
 
It sounds as though this will be a very special gift, and it’s wonderful that you will be able to use your talents with the needle in this way! I have only seen stoles made of purple silk, though, I don’t know about a knitted one - wouldn’t that make it look too much like a scarf? I think you should construct the actual stole from a suitable ornate fabric, and put all the effort into decoration - embroidery, lacework, tatting a border perhaps. I have a book of ecclesiastical crochet patterns, perhaps you could hunt around for something like that and then adapt the graphs for whatever form of needlework is your particular forte.
Good luck with the project. I am a lacemaker myself, and so I am interested in this undertaking!
 
Take a look at some of the catalogs of religious goods. The most beautiful is C.M. Almy. Autom also has some vestments. I think you can even order gorgeous fabric from Almy. Just google and see what you get. I’d give you links, but I’m having some computer trouble today.

I think your gift idea is just lovely, BTW.

Betsy
 
A confession stole need not be wool or wooly material.

Any appropriate material, includng what you find in an ordinary fabric store, will do.
 
MissMichal,

Something like this realy comes down to a matter of “taste.” What do you think your friend might like? Choosing vestments for a priest is a lot like choosing an outfit for a female friend. You realy need to know what the recipient would like in order to make a good choice.

Here’s some info that might help you arrive at that answer:

Look at the vestments he has already chosen for himself. What do his own personal vestments look like? What kind of vestments were in the church before he arrived, and which ones does he wear, versus which ones did he shove to the back of the closet? Are they more traditional looking or more “contemporary”? Does he seem to prefer ecclesiastical brocades, or rough-cloth, or something in-between? Did he buy any new parish vestments in this current assignment? If so, what do they look like?

In general, confession stoles do need to be violet. White can be worn for confession, but violet is the proper color. Darker shades are more appropriate for confession.

What does he wear in the confessional? Do you even know? If he tends to wear an alb and stole he might want something that would look more appropriate in that setting. Think wide and long.

If you don’t know what he wears (if he always does anonymous confessions) then he probably would like something small and practical. Think thin and short.

Take a peek into the priest-side of the confessional. Look at the stole he leaves there. That might give you some hints (but be careful, it might also mean that he sees no purpose for that stole from the set of ugly vestments and uses that one in the confessional:eek:). That might give you a hint on whether he likes confessional stoles to be long or short. My personal preference is a short stole in the confessional because it tends not to get in the way. To me, the ideal length is above the waist when I’m seated. Other priests prefer them long. Check out what he uses.

As for the “decoration”, vestments should always have sacred symbols, and nothing else. That doesn’t always mean “only crosses,” though. Perhaps there’a a style of cross that might express something about the priest, you, or the place he’s leaving. Maybe a celtic cross, or a cross&anchor, etc. etc. Give some more information, and people might be able to make some suggestions. Patron saints, ethnic background, even hobbies would be a big help.
 
Thanks Fr. David, that answer is just what I needed.

This priest is a Dominican, so he wears his stole with his habit. The one he currently wears is purple and it’s wool. I can’t tell exactly how long it is, because he’s seated when he hears confessions, but it appears to go below the waist. I don’t think it has any decoraton at all. The vestments at our church are the same for both the priests, and they’re very simply decorated.

A bit about the priest: He’s leaving Salt Lake City for Oregon, he was a computer science major before he went to seminary, his hobby is magic, and again, he’s a Dominican. The patroness of our parish (actually a Newman Center) is St. Catherine of Siena and the patron of his new Newman Center is St. Thomas More. Any ideas? Could I do a cross in mountains?
 
I would suggest a lamb and a cross, or an Alpha-Omega, or a Chi-Rho. simple symbols of the faith, and especially appropriate for the confessional.

If you are truly adroit, a needlework of the icon of Christ Pantocrator would be very appropriate for it. Or Christ Triumphant (The resurrected Christ with arms extended and toes pointed down).
 
MissMichal said:
Thanks Fr. David, that answer is just what I needed.

This priest is a Dominican, so he wears his stole with his habit. The one he currently wears is purple and it’s wool. I can’t tell exactly how long it is, because he’s seated when he hears confessions, but it appears to go below the waist. I don’t think it has any decoraton at all. The vestments at our church are the same for both the priests, and they’re very simply decorated.

A bit about the priest: He’s leaving Salt Lake City for Oregon, he was a computer science major before he went to seminary, his hobby is magic, and again, he’s a Dominican. The patroness of our parish (actually a Newman Center) is St. Catherine of Siena and the patron of his new Newman Center is St. Thomas More. Any ideas? Could I do a cross in mountains?
Click to expand...
Thanks for the info. Just some thoughts (nothing more than that):

A cross on a mountain(s) would be fine. That’s certainly a Christian symbol.

Have you thought about the shield of the Dominicans (www.dominicans.org)??)

Something to symbolize either St. Thomas Moore or Ven. John Card. Newman would be appropriate. Card. Newman’s motto was “cor ad cor loquitur” (heart speaks to heart, which would work well for a confession stole). But anything like that (any words embroidered) should be very very minimal, and very small.

You might choose to use something to “remember” his present parish. A southwest-style trim on the purple might work–something reminiscent of a native-american pattern for example. Don’t over-do it, though a little might be nice.

St. Catherine is often pictured with a rose.

A “typical” confession stole will have at least one cross on the center (on the neck, on the outside–this is more or less an unofficial requirement) just a simple cross would be fine.

One cross on each end is likewise typical but not required.

Speaking only of the Dominican friars I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, most of them prefer things to be simple. This might or might not be the case for your friend, but something to think about.

Confession stoles get a lot of “wear and tear” so something sturdy would work better. Imagine something that will be folded a lot and think about this before adding too much in the way of “trim” or “decorations” which might easily fall off. You probably want to avoid any fringe for example.

Wool tends to break-down rather quickly. I would suggest a sturdy poly-cotton. But don’t make the overall stole too “thich” or it’ll be cumbersome.

Many of these stoles are white on one side and purple on the other. A white “satin” lining on the underside (perhaps with 3 small crosses on the white as well) would make the stole reversible. Those are very handy for a priest because he can use it not only for confession, but for sick-calls as well. Purple for confession & unction, white for Communion. Personally, I leave one of these in my car for emergencies–that’s another reason I like mine to be small. That’s my preference though, and might not be his.

Hope this helps.
 
Well, on this subject, today I went to confession and noticed that the priest was casually dressed and was not wearing a stole.
When I mentioned this to him, he said not to worry about it; he was there and that was enough.
Is that correct, does anyone know ?
I always thought that a priest had to wear a stole when administering the sacraments except, perhaps, in extraordinary circumstances.
 
maloner said:
Well, on this subject, today I went to confession and noticed that the priest was casually dressed and was not wearing a stole.
When I mentioned this to him, he said not to worry about it; he was there and that was enough.
Is that correct, does anyone know ?
I always thought that a priest had to wear a stole when administering the sacraments except, perhaps, in extraordinary circumstances.
Click to expand...
Yes, the priest should have been wearing a stole. However, if he isn’t, it doesn’t make your confession invalid or mean you were not absolved.

Priests often leave a stole in the confessional so there is one available if they forget for some reason. If he isn’t wearing one next time you are at confession, let him know that you’d feel more comfortable if he were. There is probably one in the sacristy he could just leave in the confession room instead. However, there is very little to be gained by harrassing your priest over this. If you ask twice and he still doesn’t wear one, let it go.
 
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