Stories of reconciled families? (For hope purposes)

[Andyj]

Looking for any cool stories. Whether personal or maybe saint stories of families who were reconciled. I recently had to estrange myself from my dysfunctional family after years of severe emotional and psychological abuse ended with being told to go away, never return and “off myself” by a influential family member while everyone watched in silence. Two months into no contact my family hasn’t reached to make sure I’m okay, because they don’t want to talk about the issues. I’m dealing with C-PTSD and recovering from medication damage as my CPTSD was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia, and I was treated medically like a schizophrenic for 7 years etc as a teenager. Anyways. That’s not the important part-I’ve learned to forgive. And god has helped me immensely through this-going into my first Christmas alone without a family-I’m looking for hope filled stories as I pray for my family and ask for Gods help. Hope is what’s always kept me going in my own journey. Sometimes it’s hard to grasp that a family that’s so damaged from trauma, and personality disorders etc can ever be reconciled. I’ve never seen or heard of this happening once families have been destroyed by this sort of stuff, and I’m looking for some hope this Christmas season of families that did overcome their obstacles. It would take a lot of God in this, and I’m having trouble keeping faith as my daily rosaries and offerings for my family seem to but disappear into nothing. I have grown immensely as a person, so I know my prayers are having an effect at least on me. God bless.

 

[Andyj]

Should mention I have six siblings. And many nieces and nephews who would be devastated and not understand why one of their uncles suddenly disappeared. I work at my nieces school and she’s always asking why I miss birthday parties etc and I don’t know how tell a 7 year old I’m not being invited so I don’t give an answer. It’s a very sad situation, and hope stories of people who have had success in this would be incredibly encouraging for me.

 

[Ean_Fanaiochta]

My story is short and simple compared to yours, Andyj. After the passing of my parents, there was a lot of conflict among my brother, my sister, and myself. I ended up not speaking to them unless I absolutely had to. This went on for months. We are now reconciled, though issues do come up from time to time.

I was estranged from dear friends for nearly ten years, but we were reconciled.

My thought is that reconciliation can be a lengthy process, especially if there are mental health issues involved. By the way, I recommend that you work with a therapist if you are not already doing so. Consulting with your priest or a spiritual director would be helpful as well. Drawing closer to God will only help you as you walk through all of this.

I am sorry all of this is going on in your life. There is always room for hope, however.

 

[Andyj]

Thanks for the response. I only just went into a community to seek support. I was doing the professional help. But isolating myself in my personal life. A lot of this came about after my parish priest and head of council decided I wasn’t a committed member to the church because I missed a mass due to being away (silly as it sounds haha) even though I ran the youth ministry, did masses etc I was told I wasn’t committed and some other character insults at a council meeting. Things went sour at my church spring 2018 and I found myself in a therapistS chair being told I didn’t have enough boundaries And assertiveness and that I had been abused as a child. I don’t generally have issues interpersonally one my general life-unfortunately the priest, and head of parish council kind of turned on me and used their position against me, and then my oldest brother and a parent turned on me as well and did some reputation damage, smearing, and insults, and who knows what else as much of it happens without my knowledge… I just notice people who used to talk to me would look at me and keep walking etc. I did make a few mistakes when trying to put up boundaries and learned the hard way not to fight petty with petty, Ironically, since then my life did a complete 180 and it reversed years of suffering within months just from that. I’m only two months into my new life and it’s been a wild ride of healing and growth as a person, and within the catholic faith. I have some older gentlemen who have been offering advice and support since I reached out two weeks ago, and there is a priest who said I could come to his church office sometime so I plan on doing that. I can see God is pulling strings here and there, it’s just an uncomfortable situation no matter how good or bad my perspective is, and it’s something I sense I need to be patient in. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Life is a hard journey, but where Jesus promises to take us makes everything here endurable.

 

[Ean_Fanaiochta]

Blessings to you, Andyj. It sounds very difficult for you right now, but it also sounds like you’re going to be just fine. God will bring people into your life that will help you through these challenges.

I don’t know if you use Facebook, but there’s a group called Dr. Henry Cloud’s Boundaries in Church Peer Group. Dr. Henry Cloud has authored a number of books related to boundary-setting. Most of the posts in this group are by evangelical Christians, but you may find relevant concerns as members discuss their boundary issues.

Wishing you God’s best.

 

[Andyj]

Thanks I’ll look it up. Usually if you filter though evangelical doctrines you notice a bit of Catholic acceptable beliefs within. I’ve listened to secular stuff on this so evangelical would be a step up, , usually there’s less emphasis on forgiveness and reconciliation in the secular, but there’s also some good points. Thanks for the comments. God bless.