Strange and Evil Temptations

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DaughterOfMary6

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I really need your prayers again. I am having some really evil, vile thoughts relating to sexuality and I am kind of scared. Lately, I’ve been feeling rather lost and I’ve been job-hunting like crazy. Sometimes I feel as if I have nowhere to turn. I am being treated for depression and anxiety, so I am used to having these kind of thoughts as I’ve had them before and I’ve always been able to push past them. I am having some spiritual temptations though. I’ve been looking online for government assistance like JobCorps or something similar and I’m finding nothing but dead ends. I really need to find a way to get some job and life training as I have been struggling the last few years and going from one job to another. I have Attention Deficit Disorder so the boredom really kicks in about 4 months into the job. I’ve also been let go from a job in the past because of mild misconduct.

Today I had some really strange temptations that I’ve never had before. They were of a sexual nature and I feel rather embarrassed sharing them, but one thought popped into my head that, “I can’t find any program to help me because I don’t have a kid. Maybe I should have a kid and then I can get help because it seems like they only help those who make mistakes.” This is not my normal way of thinking and I really think it was related to stress. I would never do this and it really bothered me. I’ve been praying all day because I want to get that thought out of my head. Doing something stupid, such as having sex out of wedlock to get government assistance, is really vile if it’s done on purpose for that reason. My mentally ill adopted cousin (who has no conscience) did that so I think that is how I got the idea.

Please pray that I can be released of this temptation so I can find something really useful. I am trying to find a program that would help 27 year olds and up get job training assistance. I’ve considered AmeriCorps and JobCorps (but JobCorps has a cut off age of 23). PeaceCorps is another I know of, but I don’t think it would be beneficial for me at this juncture to go abroad since I am in need of medical assistance and I have to stay within the county to receive low-cost services since I don’t have health insurance.

Does anyone know of anything similar to these programs where I could possibly stay in my hometown?🤷
 
Dear Father in Heaven please bless your DaughterOfMary, grant her peace of mind and lead her to find a job that she can stay with for a longer while. An Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and a Fatima Prayer for her intentions. Amen
 
DaughterOfMary6 said:
one thought popped into my head that, “I can’t find any program to help me because I don’t have a kid. Maybe I should have a kid and then I can get help because it seems like they only help those who make mistakes.” This is not my normal way of thinking and I really think it was related to stress. I would never do this and it really bothered me. I’ve been praying all day because I want to get that thought out of my head. Doing something stupid, such as having sex out of wedlock to get government assistance, is really vile if it’s done on purpose for that reason. My mentally ill adopted cousin (who has no conscience) did that so I think that is how I got the idea.

Does anyone know of anything similar to these programs where I could possibly stay in my hometown?🤷
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Actually you are not the first to have this pop into their head. Don’t beat yourself up too much. I have thought the same thing because the assistance programs don’t have much to offer single people. Sounds like what you’re just realizing is that you fall between the cracks, which is all too common for those of us struggling with mental issues. 😦

Have you considered filing for Social Security Disability and then doing the Ticket to Work program? It’s not an easy route to go, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to look into. And if you are in dire financial need, make sure to look into that because it can expedite the processing of your case. Generally the first couple of rounds you get denied. I hired an attorney after the first denial. I’m still waiting to hear the outcome of a hearing before the Social Security judge last week.
 
Prayers being offered that you will find a job training program in your area and that you’ll be able to get ahead.

Do you have a local community college? Often, community colleges will offer non-degree programs to train workers for particular fields. And your local social service department or unemployment office, though they don’t have many resources/benefits for single people, may have referral lists of job training resources in your community…
 
3DOCTORS said:
Actually you are not the first to have this pop into their head. Don’t beat yourself up too much. I have thought the same thing because the assistance programs don’t have much to offer single people. Sounds like what you’re just realizing is that you fall between the cracks, which is all too common for those of us struggling with mental issues. 😦

Have you considered filing for Social Security Disability and then doing the Ticket to Work program? It’s not an easy route to go, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to look into. And if you are in dire financial need, make sure to look into that because it can expedite the processing of your case. Generally the first couple of rounds you get denied. I hired an attorney after the first denial. I’m still waiting to hear the outcome of a hearing before the Social Security judge last week.
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That gives me solace to know that I’m not the only one that has had these kind of thoughts. Though I would never do something like this, it makes me realize how desperate some people can be in this harsh economy.

Unfortunately, I do not qualify for Social Security Disability because I am not disabled and I am actually high functioning, just with problems. My ADD is very taxing sometimes because I get bored and stressed at jobs that I am not interested in. The last job I had, I worked really hard to make sure that didn’t happen, but something else happened that made me have to quit (an accident on the work site). I also am getting a referral for psychological therapy as I have some issues with work situations, especially in regards to superiors. I am constantly finding flaws in them that creates conflict and ultimately leads to my demise. My doctor is currently setting me up with a therapist at the low-cost clinic, and I hope to start soon.
Romanova said:
Prayers being offered that you will find a job training program in your area and that you’ll be able to get ahead.

Do you have a local community college? Often, community colleges will offer non-degree programs to train workers for particular fields. And your local social service department or unemployment office, though they don’t have many resources/benefits for single people, may have referral lists of job training resources in your community…
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I have actually gone through Certified Nursing Assistant training at the local community college. I would love to go back, though I would prefer to complete my Associates in Arts degree, but I do not have any money to go back and I don’t qualify for financial aid right now because I have a very low GPA. I have 2 math courses left in order to complete this degree, but it looks to be a long way off if I can’t find work.
 
What are your areas of interest, and your restrictions, if you don’t mind my asking?

I thought of nursing home work; sometimes if you can get on in a basic job they might pay for you to get a CNA or CMA, then you could work toward LPN or RN and the healthcare field is fairly secure if you find the right job.

It’s a struggle with ADD - believe me, I know. And if you have other conditions, like anxiety, it really gets crazy.:rolleyes::juggle::banghead:

But, continue to brainstorm and to pray. 👍
 
3DOCTORS said:
What are your areas of interest, and your restrictions, if you don’t mind my asking?

I thought of nursing home work; sometimes if you can get on in a basic job they might pay for you to get a CNA or CMA, then you could work toward LPN or RN and the healthcare field is fairly secure if you find the right job.

It’s a struggle with ADD - believe me, I know. And if you have other conditions, like anxiety, it really gets crazy.:rolleyes::juggle::banghead:

But, continue to brainstorm and to pray. 👍
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My areas of interest are biology and wildlife conservation. I’ve considered something such as Conservation Corps or something very similar, but there are pretty much no opportunities for such a thing in this area as there are very few parks. I would love to work at the zoo, but it is too far away. I’m in a bind because my car desperately needs repair and neither my family nor I can afford the amount it will cost to get it fixed. It started acting up tonight to where I am really scared to drive it for fear I will get stranded on the road somewhere. 😦

So, basically, I would like to find something where I can move out of my parents’ house and live in a community setting while working and earning a small stipend. I’ve heard bad things about AmeriCorps, and while their educational grant is a good idea, it is taxable, so you really aren’t earning very much. Plus, if I kept my car, I would need to continue to pay insurance on it ($62 a month), so I’m not entirely sure if a small stipend would cover all my needs (food, medical, gas, etc). I would be nice not to have to worry about my car and if I can’t get it fixed, I wouldn’t be able to bring it with me, so it would be rather pointless to pay for the insurance during that time. I am at a lost for ideas. I’ve pretty much researched everything I can think of and unless I find a job soon, I’m going to have to sell my car because I won’t be able to afford it anymore.
 
DaughterOfMary6 said:
My areas of interest are biology and wildlife conservation. I’ve considered something such as Conservation Corps or something very similar, but there are pretty much no opportunities for such a thing in this area as there are very few parks. I would love to work at the zoo, but it is too far away. I’m in a bind because my car desperately needs repair and neither my family nor I can afford the amount it will cost to get it fixed. It started acting up tonight to where I am really scared to drive it for fear I will get stranded on the road somewhere. 😦

So, basically, I would like to find something where I can move out of my parents’ house and live in a community setting while working and earning a small stipend. I’ve heard bad things about AmeriCorps, and while their educational grant is a good idea, it is taxable, so you really aren’t earning very much. Plus, if I kept my car, I would need to continue to pay insurance on it ($62 a month), so I’m not entirely sure if a small stipend would cover all my needs (food, medical, gas, etc). I would be nice not to have to worry about my car and if I can’t get it fixed, I wouldn’t be able to bring it with me, so it would be rather pointless to pay for the insurance during that time. I am at a lost for ideas. I’ve pretty much researched everything I can think of and unless I find a job soon, I’m going to have to sell my car because I won’t be able to afford it anymore.
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My apologies - I did see the wildlife conservation note on your first post but forgot it while writing mine (had an ADD moment :o ). You’ve probably already checked into veterinary help - sometimes they need someone to do basic work like cleaning or office work and maybe they would teach you some things and you might work into a tech position perhaps? I know that with my own pets I have learned to do things like give injections when they were sick. Maybe that’s a possibility.

Sent you an invite to my CAF Social Group for ADD/ADHD adults in case you’re interested. We encourage each other, vent if we need, and other things to help turn the ADD lemon into lemonade!:tanning:
 
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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