Strange Erotic Dreams

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I’m a regular poster around here with a different account. I was too embarrassed to discuss this on my main account, but I have to get it off my chest.

Last night I had an erotic dream about my brother in law. First of all, I *don’t *see my BIL like that in real life, at all. I’ve never even had a thought about any man other than my husband, so please don’t jump to conclusions and start thinking that I’m harboring secret feelings for him, or thinking of telling him or anything like that. I really just need someone to talk to I guess.

I’ve had the occasional erotic dream, but never “starring” someone who I knew personally. The thing is, in the dream, my husband ended up catching us and was understandably angry over the incident. It was so vivid that I actually woke up this morning expecting my husband to still be angry with me. Of course, he was completely normal. The thing I’m really having trouble with is that now I can’t seem to get this dream out of my head, and I want to. I don’t want to dwell on this. I’m not going over the erotic moments of the dream, I guess I just can’t get over that it was my BIL in the dream.

So, do I have something that I need to confess? I know the dream itself wasn’t within my control, but I’m wondering about how it seems to be on my mind still. I’m not entertaining these thoughts about my BIL, I’m mostly just remembering the dream and thinking “Oh my gosh, it was him!” Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this? I’m hoping that eventually I’ll be able to “throw it away” like any other dream I’ve had, but the vividness of this dream is really sticking with me and really starting to creep me out.
 
Hi,

I used to have dreams of a different sort that would oppress me in the morning. But I am sure that the same principle or counsel I receiveved would hold true for you as well.

First and foremost, I have been told, that usually with dreams you chuck them out of the window. God seldom does work through dreams, if he does you will feel abiding and a peace that passes all words and understanding.

Secondly, you cannot control what you do in your dreams, believe me I have tried. You do not have to confess them.

Thirdly, if you pray before bed that helps. Pray that you will have peaceful dreams. Pray that you will rest peacefully, and if your dreams are not peaceful pray for the grace to not let them affect you. What I find helpful I have a beuatiful statue of Our Lady by the bed and pics of Holy Cards too. I look upon them and ask them to intercede for me. I do not listen to secular music [only Christian music or instrumental] when I sleep.

I find it most helpful to do some spiritual reading before I go to sleep, about 30 minutes. This has cut down on my wierd dreams somewhat and helps me greatly when I awake as well.

Also the practice of short prayer or interior prayer is helpful with this as well. When one has done it for a long time, the prayer goes on inside even when one is asleep, I have not gotten to this point, but sometimes when I wake up at night, my short prayer is going 👍 .

God Bless.
 
Yesterday, I signed on here because after eleven years of leaving a gay lifestyle behind, I had quite the erotic dream of a naked man, and the most troubling aspect was that I was going to go to him when in reality, I would not.

I’ve always thought dreams affect you for a day. They can set the mood and tone for that day. And, if you were so shocked, it might affect you a little longer; but, every time the thought comes up, remind yourself you were semi-conscious and wouldn’t act on it in reality. And pray. Hand it to God.

By what you wrote, I don’t think you’ve sinned at all, and have no reason to look at your brother-in-law any differently. Don’t let this dream beat you down. That’s what the powers of darkness want.

May Christ’s peace be with you.

Emil
 
My understanding is that dreams are the efforts of the subconscious to make sense of random neural firings that take place in the brain during sleep. They can take some strange paths, but we are nor morally responsible for what happens during dreams (except, perhaps, during a genuine lucid dream, but that’s another subject). A strong dream can leave you with what I call an “emotional hangover” that, in my case, can last as long as the next night’s sleep. But in any case, Little One has it right. You’ve done nothing wrong. It was only a dream. Chuck it out the window.
 
Thank you all so much, I’m glad to know that it’s not too abnormal.

I haven’t been thinking as much about that dream as I was yesterday, so I’m glad for that. And about the “emotional hangover” that sounded pretty accurate for what I was feeling yesterday. Today I’m feeling more confident that I’ll be able to just throw this dream away and forget about it.
 
OpenArms said:
I’m a regular poster around here with a different account. I was too embarrassed to discuss this on my main account, but I have to get it off my chest.

Last night I had an erotic dream about my brother in law. First of all, I *don’t *see my BIL like that in real life, at all. I’ve never even had a thought about any man other than my husband, so please don’t jump to conclusions and start thinking that I’m harboring secret feelings for him, or thinking of telling him or anything like that. I really just need someone to talk to I guess.

I’ve had the occasional erotic dream, but never “starring” someone who I knew personally. The thing is, in the dream, my husband ended up catching us and was understandably angry over the incident. It was so vivid that I actually woke up this morning expecting my husband to still be angry with me. Of course, he was completely normal. The thing I’m really having trouble with is that now I can’t seem to get this dream out of my head, and I want to. I don’t want to dwell on this. I’m not going over the erotic moments of the dream, I guess I just can’t get over that it was my BIL in the dream.

So, do I have something that I need to confess? I know the dream itself wasn’t within my control, but I’m wondering about how it seems to be on my mind still. I’m not entertaining these thoughts about my BIL, I’m mostly just remembering the dream and thinking “Oh my gosh, it was him!” Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this? I’m hoping that eventually I’ll be able to “throw it away” like any other dream I’ve had, but the vividness of this dream is really sticking with me and really starting to creep me out.
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Relax, it’s just a dream - dreams are weird. It’ll go away in time.
 
Agreed. It probably makes you feel guilty for even having had that dream, but the subject matter of dreams is way beyond our control, as are quite a few things.
Try to relax, as others have said…it’s not anything that is of your own doing.
 
OpenArms said:
Thank you all so much, I’m glad to know that it’s not too abnormal.

I haven’t been thinking as much about that dream as I was yesterday, so I’m glad for that. And about the “emotional hangover” that sounded pretty accurate for what I was feeling yesterday. Today I’m feeling more confident that I’ll be able to just throw this dream away and forget about it.
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Good for you. If you are having problems still, continue and do not give up asking God for the grace to throw the dream out of your mind. Think on Him if the dream comes up.

I have been praying for you.

God Bless.
 
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