Strange situations

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andrejs1985

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Hello,

I would like to share some very strange situations that happened in last 1,5 month.

At first I’ll tell about myself- I’m 32 old men, I’m married about 10 years(in state org. Not church) We have 3 children first hife has from other husband and two other from me. Wife can say not religious, but I’m moderate catholic. I was studing in catholic school from grade 1 to 9 in my country. Everything was ok in my life, but this year I started drink beer a little bit more, sometimes for a month few beers every evening, I was a little concerned about it, but still continued to drink, and while drinking I was started to watch youtube-some adventure blogers who travels different countries, then I found one blogger who travels countries “where you won’t go” it’s like Pakistan, Afghanistan e.c. so I don’t know how but I found some nice sounding Muslim nasheeds I liked hebbit kerriih nasheed and sometimes was listening to it. Then one day I related intro of quaran in Arabic language and that night I woke up at 3 a.m. (I watched mobile) and almost instantly fall asleep and had such dream:
I’m watching on photocard from my first grade in Catholic school that was taken in a church there was me(as a kid) two my classmates as a kids one classmate as a teenager, teacher. After I like transferred there but like I’m aged now (32) it’s the end of the mass, and priest are giving commonium, and says for other “Corpus Christi” but there is not enough for me and I’m the last who want to take it so priest with helper goes to another room and don’t come back, instead of him comes up man in black and starts to collect things from Lords table, I stand up from knees come to him and ask “are you a debt collector?” He turns to me and says " No, we are enemies" and the same moment I felt that something super strong took me from the back and throwed me away.
I woke up was 3:30. I could not sleep for an hour. Was praying all the time.
Next evening before sleep I prayed to Archangel Michael, to my Angel, and other prays for 3 times. I slept very well.
Next night I repeated prays and had a dream:
Water (like lake) and those two men from first dream goes in the middle, I’m flying around them and they are very sad, and I’m asking them:“what’s up? Received ?” And wake up in very good mood.
So I started to pray every night and everything was ok.
After one week company were I work for had a party. There were some sport activities and after some disco. I was dancing with one beautiful colleague from other country , we were dancing and joking and had very nice time. As I said she’s from other country so we didn’t see very often and I fell in love. So strong as I was 16 years old. I had so much emotions that I quoted drink at all- I felt like everysecond drunk from love. I started sporting in a week I ran everyday started with 10 km and ended with 20km per run. I started other fitness, I had so big amount of energy that it can’t be described.
But as I wrote- I have big family and my collegue has husband two, so it just nice fantasy or dream and nothing serious. I was struggling maybe I should tell her about my feelings, but it could than create some relationship with her.
 
…And one night while praying I asked God: “Lord if I need tell her about my feelings, please give me a sign” (I did question so maybe 10 times in a life, but never recieved any significant signs, so there was almost no hope that it will work)Sure that next day I forgot about it and didn’t notice something extraordinary. It was grey, rainy day with clouds in one layer without any signs of sky. I was waiting for a bus and listening to the music. Then I realised that something are lighting on me- I turned and saw Sun. It was shining. And it was shining only on me- some 3 meters else on the sides. I felt really strange, and I remembered about asking a sign. It continued for 10-15 seconds. After sun disappeared and there were no sunshine that day anymore.
So I understood that I must speak with her.

So this is my story- maybe someone can help me sort this situation out? I do not understand is it good bad or what. I feel extremely happy, but still very confused.
 
Dreams are a manifestation of our anxieties.

They are 99.9% of the time psychological issues being worked out by our sub-conscience. I find that dreammoods.com is an excellent resource for the common psychological meanings behind dreams. The forums are wacky, but the dictionary is excellent.

A professional–heck, even a priest–can help you figure out how to talk to someone you like. You are 32 and not 12. If you need help, find help. Nothing wrong with that.
 
Thanks a lot! Speaking to priest is in my near future plans.
 
When people hit their early 30s, they often begin to question the direction they picked for their lives or see this as their last chance to do something different from whatever pattern they have set up so far. This has been discussed in various pop psychology books and it was certainly true in my case and for lots of other people I know.

You are a married guy who all of a sudden is drinking more, looking at foreign destinations in videos, falling in teenage puppy love with a colleague and obsessing over dreams. You’re bored or you think something is missing in your life. You are in a prime position for the devil to move in and make you do something you will regret.

Please talk to a priest and check yourself before you wreck yourself. You need to find a positive outlet to get you through this phase in your life.
 
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Thanks, actually everything is perfectly for me.Actually I’m manager in lets say “unit” with not less than 60 emplyees under me and so already 3 years, so take hard steps is familiar for me like fire somebody…) Actually I used to be cool minded person. It would be much more easier if there would be no such dreams at all.
Actually dilemma is that I know that I can hurt somehow my colleague and in the same time I know that if I’ll talk it would be much easier for me.
And the most important thing that I can learn from this situation I guess is my attitude and feelings to my wife.
 
(name removed by moderator):
Agreed- I was about to post something about prayer. Thanks for posting about it! 🙂
 
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Thanks a lot! For me was very important to know that dreams was just my brains showing wrong lifestyle.

About praying, yes I pray every evening.
Actually I still don’t plan leave family while kids are small.

But still…how do you think should I tell her?
 
I think it best to speak to your priest before you mention to your civilly married wife that you intend to leave her when the children are older.
Telling her you intend to leave later when the children are olderis a big deal.

It certainly could destabilise your relationship, with having that oppressing her mind and emotions, to the degree that your relationship becomes acrimonious and breaks up soon anyway.

On the other hand, can you explain your need to live a Catholic life, with a valid Catholic marriage, with full participation in the Sacraments, without announcing an intention to leave her as soon as the children are older, so your wife at least has a chance of freely converting.

To have hanging over her head that you intend to leave when the children are older would be insensitive and insulting.

May God guide you and may He flood His blessings upon your children, your wife, and you.
May He lead you according to His love and goodness.
 
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Hi, thanks! But actually I struggle with option tell my collegue about my feelings. I do not plan to share this with wife due to that I’m not planning leave her & kids. Actually all this situation is only about:1) had strange dreams and some other unexplainable things, but it can be understood due to person ability combine that he wants to see with what he really see.
2) After about 10 years I felt in love. And feel this very beautiful feeling.

I did not make and plan to make any physical contact with collegue.

All my confusion about that both this situations happened in 3-4 days. I have never seen such dreams before and love at the same time.

As I mentioned I’m 32 now and it’s little different to control feelings. I feel this love, but still understand all my responsibilities against family & kids.

Thanks for good wishes!
 
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Definitely do not speak to your matrried colleague about your feelings.
That would be irresponsible and selfish.
Anyone can become attracted to others, that isn’t love.

We must overcome adulterous attraction and not give into it, destroying children’s security and hurting whole families. To do so is selfishness and self- deceptive, as well as adulterous.

Harbouring feelings towards someone else will harm your relationship with your wife as she will soon know your heart has turned from her. You need to work on your relationship with your wife, do what you can to cherish her and help her to be her best self through kindness, communication and respect, and with patience, because it can take time to change a relationship dynamic.

You may not intend to give into your emotions or to reveal your feelings, but unless you get ahold of your feelings and see them for what they are, you could slip.
It would be very wrong to show your attraction to your married colleague or to flirt on any level. God grant you can show consistent character in dealing with this temptation.

Attraction is one thing, genuine love is another.
Love isn’t always easy, but that is what is required for ones spouse and children, faithfulness and kindness in good times and bad.
Falling in love is sometimes really only falling in love with yourself.

Note that the bible never speaks of falling in love. That is attraction, and at times, obsession, which will so often be fleeting and is a creation of poetry, songs, and media.

The bible only speaks directly of love, which is respecting, cherishing the people whom we are committed to loving, which is sometimes easy, sometimes requires a lot of effort.

God bless you and your family
 
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andrejs1985 said:
Hi, thanks! But actually I struggle with option tell my collegue about my feelings. I do not plan to share this with wife due to that I’m not planning leave her & kids. Actually all this situation is only about:1) had strange dreams and some other unexplainable things, but it can be understood due to person ability combine that he wants to see with what he really see.
2) After about 10 years I felt in love. And feel this very beautiful feeling.

I did not make and plan to make any physical contact with collegue.

All my confusion about that both this situations happened in 3-4 days. I have never seen such dreams before and love at the same time.

As I mentioned I’m 32 now and it’s little different to control feelings. I feel this love, but still understand all my responsibilities against family & kids.

Thanks for good wishes!
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@Trishie is 100% on point with this. I did not know you were married in my first post, otherwise, I would have encouraged you to seek counsel for your misguided feelings. And let’s be real here, they are incredibly misguided and even dangerous.

Why? Because feelings are fleeting. I promise you that all of the sudden if you obtained what you wanted you’d suddenly be less enamored with this other woman. Like Trishie stated, feelings are no where in the Bible, nor are they in Catholic teachings on marital life.

It seems, from yours and other posts, much of this difficulty for you lies in the fact your wife will not cooperate with you becoming Catholic. This is unfortunate. Only good council–both from a priest and perhaps secular can help you work through these things.

Like I said before, dreams are manifestations of our subconsious. It could very well be you are seeing this other person in your dreams because some of the qualities you admire in her are ones that you really do admire about your wife but aren’t seeing.
 
Thanks for good words.

It’s definetly very strange to me, because actually if I’m thinking deeper I can see that in my life my wife always were a little bit let’s say colder I didn’t feel something like I could name love for at least 5 years. And I never thought that I will change something, my main target was to financially grant welfare of children so I concentrated more on work. But my wife always was telling me( like a joke, not often than once a year) that she don’t believe that we will live together until our old days. Now I have 2 boys (13, 7) and a daughter (2). All in our family are catholics except wife(she’s lutheran). And I was always thinking about future of kids and so I’m, until this September when I felt such strong emotions, that made me confused- it’s like a fight inside me about proper way and feelings.

And sure wife can see that I became almost always in good mood, but still sometimes it changes so quickly to very hard tiredness. Actually yesterday I wanted to measure my blood pressure, I was sitting on couch for maybe half an hour and thinking some thoughts, but when I measured blood pressure was ok, only I had heartbeat 124 per minute, and it’s far from normal. I changed things about what I’m thinking and heartbeat became almost normal.

Also I just returned from work- I need there get for one hour, I used company paid taxi. And guess what? This taxi driver first way told me about specific numbers and that his teacher writes a book aboitr it and on the way back he claimed that sombody calls them sectarians, but they are not and tried to impress me with his teacher who claimed to be the return of Jesus.
I told him that I’m catholic and aren’t interested in his theory. He told that Catholics are clever people and didn’t say a word after that. Nice end of evening (it’s now 0:35 in my country) 🙂
 
Do you have time to read or listen to an audio book?

Most times “cold” behavior comes from a few things. One big thing in marriage is understanding love languages. I think EVERY couple should read “5 Love Languages”. This is why you might feel “love” feelings towards a stranger and “cold” feelings towards your wife. If you are fed by say, words of praise and your wife never gives them, it would leave you feeling unsatisfied and empty. Then you encounter someone who DOES give you that, you’re going to think that you are being loved. Once you know your love Language, and figure out your wife’s, you are MUCH more likely to have a satisfying relationship.

Once you do this, I’d suggest you read/watch “Fireproof” with a Catholic Lens. VERY good stuff.

It sounds like you have some have some legit health concerns. You need to see a doctor, pronto. Heart stuff is nothing to mess around with.
 
Thanks, I’ve been to full health control year ago, and as you can understand that’s why I measure it and it regullary are normal. It’s “from the head”.
About books, I definetly will read it. Due to necessarity to grow I try to read a lot of business books, so I’ll find time for one specific book.

Thanks!
 
And exactly- I cannot remember any good word from my wife. Maybe last year… So that’s definetly could be the reason that I can switch attention to any other who show her attention towards me. I definetly will read book and watch that movie!
 
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andrejs1985 said:
And exactly- I cannot remember any good word from my wife. Maybe last year… So that’s definetly could be the reason that I can switch attention to any other who show her attention towards me. I definetly will read book and watch that movie!
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It’s truly an amazing tool. They have a version for parents to their children, too. My friend’s daughter was CONSTANTLY saying at age 4, and 100% serious that her mom did not love her.

And there was no more devoted mother than hers. It was truly baffling.

After “Love Languages” her daughter was TOTALLY different. My friend was huge on words of praise but never bought anything…even a treat at the grocery store. To my friend’s daughter, the lack of gifts meant her mom didn’t love her. My friend started to plan her shopping around small surprises that her daughter liked. A kid-sized bag of chips in her lunch, an origami dog on her nightstand when she woke, and “garage saleing” to find low cost toys. They became expert Playmobile hunters.

Your wife may not even know how much her lack of words means to you. She may be more about “acts of service” so she makes your home nice, cares for the children, gives you time to rest. And to her, this is done out of love and she assumes it fills you. But really, it would be far more meaningful if she wraped her arms around you and told you that you were a wonderful husband and provider but dinner was late, the house was a mess and the children were unruly.
 
And I forgot to mention that since that situation in September I had some streak of bad things like car totally broke, bicycles were stolen and flat was flooded. But I solved this all at perfect peace- without stress. My company what I work for will have me company car for private use, flooded flat insurance firstly declined payout but I know laws, so wrote statement and they agreed to make payout, and bicycles was bought used for situation like this, so my loses aren’t very big.

As I was writing this emotion what I call love I would like to keep because it empowers me for action no matter what.

I hope your book will help me, but there is no warranty that my wife will read it aswell. Will hope for best.

You trully helped me a lot!
 
Rely on God thru prayer to guide you along this sticky situation… His timing may be gradual, but His plans are always perfect.
 
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