Straying away from God/Church

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Kitteh

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(I’m not sure if this is the correct forum to be posting this in.)

As of late I feel like I’ve become very far from God and the church and I don’t know what to do.
Two years ago my brother died from cancer when he was six years old. I feel like God doesn’t care about me or my family any more, and I don’t feel like I should care about him. I prayed to God for months for my brother to get at least a little better, but he never improved. I don’t think God was even listening. I’ve become almost totally turned off to God and I don’t want to have a relationship with him.

My parents say they have the same problems as me, but they’re stronger in their faith and they say “God’s will, not mine”. I can’t grasp that concept of accepting God’s will. I want to fight against it. I just cannot let go and let God take control; I don’t feel like he deserves to take control of my life, after what happened to my brother.

At the same time, I have found myself becoming more angrier at the church for strange reasons. Its teachings on gay rights, mortal sins, reading certain books/watching certain movies, ect., are starting to bother me. Even older issues like the handling of priest abuse cases makes me irritated. I feel so constricted by my religion all of a sudden. I do go to church, but I “go through the motions”…i.e. my heart is not in it. I only go because I have to (if you don’t go to church, it’s a mortal sin, and you go to hell if it’s not forgiven, apparently.)

Please help. I feel depressed and confused and angry with God, I’ve felt like this for a long time. I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone in real life.
 
It’s OK to be angry at God, He can take it. Have you tried to bring your frustrations with His Church to Him yet?

:blessyou:
 
Kitteh,
first off, I’m sorry for the loss of your brother. This must be very difficult for both you and your parents, I pray that God brings you peace and comfort in this trying time.

Remember, all of us are here for only a short time, we all will one day die as well.

Meanwhile, try to understand that we mortals, only have a very small piece of the picture, but God has the entire picture.
We don’t know what is coming to us, while we are still on this earth. If God could give you the entire picture and show it to you, and you now saw your brother in a paradise beyond anything on earth, where his joy and happiness is beyond anything we can experience here, would you still be angry at God? This is more than likely the state your brother is in.

Also, your brother is now and advocate for you and your parents, in heaven. Try to ask him to intercede on your behalf and that of your parents, to bring you peace and comfort.

Healing takes time, but in the mean time, don’t give up on God, he hasn’t given up on you.

Praying for your Healing
Jim
 
DJgang said:
PLEASE, PLEASE WATCH THIS!

youtube.com/watch?v=zCdZwitrNoY

WARNING! This will give you the crying ugly face.

Such wisdom from a little guy.

GOD UNDERSTANDS!
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:crying: WOW!! Out of the mouths of babes…

To the OP Kitteh, welcome to CAF! I think we all can relate in some way to being angry with God at one time or another - but like another poster said, only God sees the “big picture”. Of course you are upset that your dear little brother passed away, that is a horrible thing to have gone through, and you have every right to feel the way you’re feeling. :console: But God wasn’t doing this to punish you or your family or even your brother - the dear sweet little one completed his time here and the Lord brought him back Home. I’ve lost many people in my life - my Mom, BIL, and even friends - it is my sincerest hope that they are in paradise with God. That’s what got me through (and still does) the hard days and nights when it seems like the hurt just won’t go away.

No one knows why things happen, alot of times it’s hard to even try to figure out why, that’s where faith comes in and the Holy Spirit guides us. You mentioned
I do go to church, but I “go through the motions”…i.e. my heart is not in it. I only go because I have to (if you don’t go to church, it’s a mortal sin, and you go to hell if it’s not forgiven, apparently.)
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but I have a feeling that deep down you know that God is good and that you still love Him. The fact that you are still attending Mass is great! Let the Eucharist be your spiritual food - it will help you to heal as well.

Also continue to talk with your parents about this - they more than anyone else know exactly what you are going through, and especially on today, the Feast of the Holy Family, you will all get through this together. I will pray for you and your family.
 
Kitteh said:
(I’m not sure if this is the correct forum to be posting this in.)

As of late I feel like I’ve become very far from God and the church and I don’t know what to do.
Two years ago my brother died from cancer when he was six years old. I feel like God doesn’t care about me or my family any more, and I don’t feel like I should care about him. I prayed to God for months for my brother to get at least a little better, but he never improved. I don’t think God was even listening. I’ve become almost totally turned off to God and I don’t want to have a relationship with him.

My parents say they have the same problems as me, but they’re stronger in their faith and they say “God’s will, not mine”. I can’t grasp that concept of accepting God’s will. I want to fight against it. I just cannot let go and let God take control; I don’t feel like he deserves to take control of my life, after what happened to my brother.

At the same time, I have found myself becoming more angrier at the church for strange reasons. Its teachings on gay rights, mortal sins, reading certain books/watching certain movies, ect., are starting to bother me. Even older issues like the handling of priest abuse cases makes me irritated. I feel so constricted by my religion all of a sudden. I do go to church, but I “go through the motions”…i.e. my heart is not in it. I only go because I have to (if you don’t go to church, it’s a mortal sin, and you go to hell if it’s not forgiven, apparently.)

Please help. I feel depressed and confused and angry with God, I’ve felt like this for a long time. I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone in real life.
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I have had some tragic things happen in my life too. The most recent thing was the death of my 3 year old neice. She drowned in a pool. I have to admit I was more angry at the people who were there when it happen than I was at God. However my understanding of God is much different today than before. There was a time in my life when I was so mad at God I cursed him, desecrated many relgious things including the bible, I turned from God in such away that I was mad at the whole world. I came close to commiting suicide three times because I hated everything including myself, but one day I was in so much pain and I didn’t have the courage to kill myself, thanks be to God, I fell to my knees and begged him for help. Many things have happened over the last seven years of my life, good and bad, including tragic things like the lost of family and friends. I was in the emergency room on Christmas eve with an infected tooth ache. I spent Christmas in agony from my tooth ache. My poor wife didn’t know what to do. Christmas morning at 230 am someone was trying too break in to our apartment. We locked our selves in the bathroom and called 911. The police came and who ever it was was gone. During all this I prayed to God for help. The day after Christmas I got my tooth pulled. The most (name removed by moderator)ortant thing I know today is that God loves me even when things are really bad, and it’s true that he gave up his only begotten son so that we might live. It ain’t easy living but your not alone kitteh. God knows your suffering and he Loves you and your brother. Pray for you brother. You might think the cancer got your brother in the end but thats eroneous. God always wins in the end. Your brother is safe in the hands of God. I only share some of my experience because I know it helps to relate or I wouldn’t be sharing with you now.
 
Kitteh said:
(I’m not sure if this is the correct forum to be posting this in.)

As of late I feel like I’ve become very far from God and the church and I don’t know what to do.
Two years ago my brother died from cancer when he was six years old. I feel like God doesn’t care about me or my family any more, and I don’t feel like I should care about him. I prayed to God for months for my brother to get at least a little better, but he never improved. I don’t think God was even listening. I’ve become almost totally turned off to God and I don’t want to have a relationship with him.

My parents say they have the same problems as me, but they’re stronger in their faith and they say “God’s will, not mine”. I can’t grasp that concept of accepting God’s will. I want to fight against it. I just cannot let go and let God take control; I don’t feel like he deserves to take control of my life, after what happened to my brother.

At the same time, I have found myself becoming more angrier at the church for strange reasons. Its teachings on gay rights, mortal sins, reading certain books/watching certain movies, ect., are starting to bother me. Even older issues like the handling of priest abuse cases makes me irritated. I feel so constricted by my religion all of a sudden. I do go to church, but I “go through the motions”…i.e. my heart is not in it. I only go because I have to (if you don’t go to church, it’s a mortal sin, and you go to hell if it’s not forgiven, apparently.)

Please help. I feel depressed and confused and angry with God, I’ve felt like this for a long time. I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone in real life.
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You probably don’t want to hear this, but I’m going to write it anyways… God Loves You!
 
Thanks for your replies, I read them all carefully. I don’t have any courage/motivation to ask God what I should do. I think I’m just angry. I don’t know how to get rid of my anger.

To those who posted, how do you know that God loves you? How does it feel? I feel so empty now.
 
The number one reason I know that God loves you and me is because he became man (suffered with us) and died on the cross.

Seems rather simple, and I know that you’ve heard it before, but it has to sink into your heart before you truly believe it. I grew up knowing all about how God loves me from preachers, teachers and family but like many cradle catholics I took His love for granted. I can look back now on my life and see how when the times were rough, He was right there getting me through it.

I cannot imagine my life without Jesus. How hollow that would be. Try to do some bible reading if you can and though it may be hard for you, pray the Lord’s prayer at least once every night before you go to sleep. I’ll say a prayer for you too.
 
Kitteh said:
I don’t have any courage/motivation to ask God what I should do. I think I’m just angry. I don’t know how to get rid of my anger.
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I can certainly relate to that. It may take a while for it to wear off though.
Kitteh said:
To those who posted, how do you know that God loves you? How does it feel? I feel so empty now.
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God has shown His love for me several times, many more times than I have loved Him back. Especially when I was angry at Him and feeling abandoned by Him.

At least in my case, it took Him to will to show me His love, even when I was plunged in darkness. And He did so out of love itself, for I was in no merit of such a grace.

It’s happened more than once, but eventually the certainty of His love settled in my soul. Right now, I don’t feel His love, only its certainty remains. And this certainty helps to no lose His love out of sight in those dreaded moments when, like you, I don’t feel loved by Him.

:blessyou:
 
Kitteh said:
(I’m not sure if this is the correct forum to be posting this in.)

As of late I feel like I’ve become very far from God and the church and I don’t know what to do.
Two years ago my brother died from cancer when he was six years old. I feel like God doesn’t care about me or my family any more, and I don’t feel like I should care about him. I prayed to God for months for my brother to get at least a little better, but he never improved. I don’t think God was even listening. I’ve become almost totally turned off to God and I don’t want to have a relationship with him.

My parents say they have the same problems as me, but they’re stronger in their faith and they say “God’s will, not mine”. I can’t grasp that concept of accepting God’s will. I want to fight against it. I just cannot let go and let God take control; I don’t feel like he deserves to take control of my life, after what happened to my brother.

At the same time, I have found myself becoming more angrier at the church for strange reasons. Its teachings on gay rights, mortal sins, reading certain books/watching certain movies, ect., are starting to bother me. Even older issues like the handling of priest abuse cases makes me irritated. I feel so constricted by my religion all of a sudden. I do go to church, but I “go through the motions”…i.e. my heart is not in it. I only go because I have to (if you don’t go to church, it’s a mortal sin, and you go to hell if it’s not forgiven, apparently.)

Please help. I feel depressed and confused and angry with God, I’ve felt like this for a long time. I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone in real life.
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It’s understandable that you are angry with God and I know it is hard to grasp God’s will. I think that my sister has the same problem. It’s difficul I know. But if you beleive in heaven you should be happy that he is there know with God without suffering. He suffered with cancer and now he has no ailments or anything anymore and he never will again. you will see him again when you go. GOd loves you. I think that you should just pray and read the bible. If you need to talk anymore just pm me or something
 
I know it’s hard…very hard to know and I won’t insult you with the same old “God Loves You” talk. But here’s what will tell you. You have found a message board full of people who believe in and love God. There are billions and billions of web pages and millions of forums but for some reason you wound up at the Catholic Answers forum. You could say it’s coincidence, or is it? How did you come across the forum? Obviously you were/are looking for something … we all are. Obviously you are in pain … so are we. God has lead me (us) to this forum to get help and to help others. I know it’s hard to believe, but you are here for a reason.

I’m sorry to hear about your brother, it’s sad and tragic. You can stay mad at God for taking him away or you can thank God for giving you 6 years together. If you harbor anger in your heart and stopping the flow of God’s love, the only one you are hurting is yourself. God does and will always love you … it’s up to you whether or not you accept. Either way, we are here for you and each other.
 
Thanks so much for all your replies. I came to this forums because I was so tired of visiting other sites that claimed to be Catholic but were schismatic and the people were rude. I also don’t like asking for help and just getting “praying for you” as a response. I needed some sort of real response. I am really liking Catholic Answers because there are real Catholic people here who can understand my problems and I can look for answers to some of my questions about the church.

I think I am going to start trying to get back to God by praying the rosary at least every day. My grandmother died this December, very suddenly and it was a huge shock to my entire family. She was the most holy, most amazing person I ever knew and she prayed the rosary every night for my brother because she missed him so much. Her death was another massive blow to me but I think it also is helping me because I know she is in heaven and I can pray to her for help. I think I have already had one supernatural experience with her spirit which is also helping me. When I flew to Utah one night for Christmas this year, I saw a bright white light moving across the ground from my plane window. It moved through the streets, across a bridge and a field, and through a small high school baseball field. I think it was her.
 
Kitteh said:
Thanks so much for all your replies. I came to this forums because I was so tired of visiting other sites that claimed to be Catholic but were schismatic and the people were rude. I also don’t like asking for help and just getting “praying for you” as a response. I needed some sort of real response. I am really liking Catholic Answers because there are real Catholic people here who can understand my problems and I can look for answers to some of my questions about the church.

I think I am going to start trying to get back to God by praying the rosary at least every day. My grandmother died this December, very suddenly and it was a huge shock to my entire family. She was the most holy, most amazing person I ever knew and she prayed the rosary every night for my brother because she missed him so much. Her death was another massive blow to me but I think it also is helping me because I know she is in heaven and I can pray to her for help. I think I have already had one supernatural experience with her spirit which is also helping me. When I flew to Utah one night for Christmas this year, I saw a bright white light moving across the ground from my plane window. It moved through the streets, across a bridge and a field, and through a small high school baseball field. I think it was her.
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It certainly could have been her trying to let you know that both she and your brother are okay - I like to believe things like that.

I think that you saying the Rosary is a wonderful idea. 👍 I’m sure the Blessed Mother and your dear Grandmother planted that seed for you and it will be a wonderful way to feel connected to her.

When my Mom passed away almost 4 years ago, it was one of the hardest times ever. I really didn’t think I would get through it. But I did - one day, sometimes just one moment at a time. I know it sounds SOOO cliche’, but it’s the truth.

There are alot of wonderful people on this forum and I certainly have learned much. I’m glad you are finding your visits here comforting - keep coming back. 🙂
 
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