Stress Management

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Talk to me about stress, please, specifically how you handle it.

I’m 51, and all of my life, I’ve been incredibly healthy–normal blood pressure and labs, fit in spite of fat, regular workouts, sleep well, happy outlook on life, etc.

In the last six months, my BP has gone through the roof (170/100), my cholesterol went up by almost 50 points
(260), I’m tired all the time but don’t sleep well, and I often wish that I could just stay homel. I also developed migraine headaches again; the last time I had migraines was college. My knee hurts, my foot hurts, light hurts my eyes, and I eat everything that’s bad for me because the healthy foods make me throw up (veges, fruits, lean meat, fish, skim milk, etc.)

I put off tasks until the last possible minutes. I am in charge of several community activities, but I haven’t even started. And that just makes these activities even more stressful.

I do say no. I said no twice this week to piano gigs. I honestly have schedule conflicts and can’t even if I wanted to.

I work fulltime, in a hospital lab, and I’ve worked there since 1990.

I also write novels and screenplays, but I’ve been stalling around on those, and only in the last few weeks have I sat down and started pounding out stories again. But I really should be doing other things.

About the only thing that’s better than ever is my sex life (with my husband).

Also, my church is good. I love the Catholic Church, except I must admit, I find many of the posts on this forum extremely stressful, to the point where I cry over them, because they seem to say that the Catholic Church is all messed up and we should stop doing what our bishops and priests say if they are telling us to do something wrong. Well, that’s one reason I became a Catholic–so I could let someone ELSE besides me decide what is right and wrong. I don’t want to add “infallible discernment of right and wrong” to my list of responsibilities!

There have been a LOT of stressors in my life in the last year, including the (happy) wedding of a daughter, the moving of another daughter across country, a 3 year-old nephew diagnosed with cancer, total financial chaos as we try to pay for the wedding (which was reasonable–around $7000) and the move (around $10,000), a competition that I chair, another board of directors that I was asked to join, several piano gigs, a really really BAD job situation, including a physical badness (the noise levels are so bad that our lab is being re-built), etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on with various stressors until this board ran out of memory.

In the past, I’ve handled this many stressors and more, and been healthy. Now I think everything’s going well, but then I get my BP checked or my labs drawn and I’m obviously NOT handing it all.

I’m not asking for medical advice or diagnoses, which is against the CAF rules anyway. I have an excellent doctor who tells me that my biggest problem is not physical but psychological–too much stress and failure to deal with it. He is a strong Catholic man who understands the need for spiritual as well as physical treatment and I am sticking with him!

My question is, how do YOU deal with your stress levels and keep all those physical indicators normal and healthy? Have any of you been through this, maybe around menopause or empty nest time, and what got you through it? Maybe I just need to see that others ARE dealing with it to get a jump start on dealing with it myself. All I know is that right now, I am not dealing with it, I’m escaping from it. And that’s not going to work in the long run.

Thanks for sharing.
 
hello, welcome to the teenage years of old age

the knees are the first to go, and the rest ain’t pretty

I expect to grow old gracefully and slowly, I did not expect to wake up one morning to find every bodily and mental system out of whack.

reflection of Pedro Arrupe, SJ, former superior general of the Jesuits who was disabled by stroke several years before he died

More than ever, I find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now, there is a difference. The initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands.

how did I/do I deal with stress? this reflection has helped immensely w/my attitude adjustment. for the rest, I ditch toxic people, jobs, and situations (per today’s readings). What I cannot change I remove or ignore. I have focused for 10 yrs entirely on improving myself, my spirituality, my reactions, my prayer life, my attention to duties (including requirements of maintaining health), my emotional state and left off entirely my formal occupation of trying to improve other people.
 
About the only thing that’s better than ever is my sex life (with my husband).
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I dunno how ya get stressed out in this situation. hehehehe!

Sounds like ya gotta lot goin on. Keep working out, watch your diet, that should help, it does for me.

Are you sleepin ok?

I retired 3 years ago, (young man’s job, took my pension and ran,) and have no stresses in my life, but I was only sleeping 6-7 hours a night. I was in for my routine physical and the doc asked me how I was sleepin, I said, "good, but only sleep 5-7 hours. He said that was not unusual for guys my age. We just don’t require as much sleep.

Outside of that I suggest finding something you enjoy, whatever it might be, and do it. Other than that I dunno, why you’re suddenly stressed out.

Ask yourself what is different now than a few years ago? Identify what is bothering you and address it.

Thats what I do. If something is bothering me I indentify it, then fix it. Outside of that make sure you stay organized, so you know when you’re suppose to be when.

But the all time best thing to do, is throw bags on a motorcyle, take a 3 week cross country ride, where the only person you answer to is yourself, and see the country and meet people. In your case you prolly toss your bags in a car and take off.

Do something bold, so something different, don’t let life pass you by. Don’t live in a world of coulda, shoulda, woulda.
 
did you get your blood sugar levels checked when the bp and cholesterol was done? i ask because the first thing that poped to mind was diabetes. if you havent been tested; glusoce test and fasting test, then i’d get that done.
 
Cat said:
Talk to me about stress, please, specifically how you handle it…
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My question is, how do YOU deal with your stress levels and keep all those physical indicators normal and healthy? Have any of you been through this, maybe around menopause or empty nest time, and what got you through it? Maybe I just need to see that others ARE dealing with it to get a jump start on dealing with it myself. All I know is that right now, I am not dealing with it, I’m escaping from it. And that’s not going to work in the long run.

Thanks for sharing.
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Wow! Sounds like you just have a lot going on, period.

I wouldn’t know how to address all of the things that are happening. I can only think of a few things to say. One, is that I think higher blood pressure is a common occurrence around the time of menopause. It seems as if your doctor is not concluding this about you but consider it a possibility. But in any case you asked how to deal with stress. I know that my blood pressure, which had previously been low, seemed to go way up when I hit age 40 or so. But ten years later it is starting to go down again. I have heard some women say that once menopause is finally over that they recover some of the energy that was lacking while going through the process.

You probably know that physical activity is the immediate cure for stress. But I think the long term cure is to let some things go. It’s stressful in and of itself to have to let go of things that have given you much satisfaction in the past, but since you have some heavy duty burdens that you don’t have the ability to give away you might need to take vacation from some of the optional activities that don’t relieve more stress than they create.

I know I try to include time for exercise. There’s not much choice about working. I love my choir. That energizes me. But I don’t spend as much time with other church activities anymore. Since I also have an ill family member I do much of my socializing with family; I’ve had to cut back on time with friends but I know there will be time for that in the future.
 
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Cat:
My question is, how do YOU deal with your stress levels and keep all those physical indicators normal and healthy? Have any of you been through this, maybe around menopause or empty nest time, and what got you through it? Maybe I just need to see that others ARE dealing with it to get a jump start on dealing with it myself. All I know is that right now, I am not dealing with it, I’m escaping from it. And that’s not going to work in the long run.
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First it might be a bit reassuring to know that you are not alone. Others of us are also facing the same general situation of having the reassess our lives as we move towards a new, and later, phase of our life.

I started thinking about this a few years back when a number of friends a few years older than me started retiring in their early sixties because they were finding full time work too draining. Others decided to try and get part time work so they got a better work/life balance.

It’s great you have a doctor who deals with the physical and psychological reasons for how you feel. Do keep in mind that your physical symptoms are going to lower your energy levels and try to match what you do to your energy levels.

Something I tend to forget is that things I like doing are also stressful. Also that good things happening to us (like your daughter’s marriage ) are also highly stressful. Additionally, it seems from your list you have had more than your fair share of bad things happening - no wonder you feel stressed.

I’d give the forums and threads here that you find upsetting and stressful a miss either temporarily. Consider unsubscribing to any that really upset you. Stick to the ones that are generally supportive, avoid reading the posts of those who upset you.

As someone who is susceptible to noise I can empathise with your work situation. I would be in a state of constant arousal in it. Maybe some relaxation exercises could help.
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Cat:
In the past, I’ve handled this many stressors and more, and been healthy. Now I think everything’s going well, but then I get my BP checked or my labs drawn and I’m obviously NOT handing it all.
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Yes, but you didn’t have the physical manifestations you have now, is it possible there is a physical component that hasn’t yet been diagnosed?
 
Please make sure you are getting enough sleep and fitting in some exercise somewhere.
You said your feet hurt - can you swim or bike?

You sound like you take on the world and it’s problems. If CAF stresses you - then add some people to your “ignore” list and take a break. The forums should not put anyone to tears. If it does, then you are getting too emotional over something that is not intended to make you stressed out.

A prayer for peace and joy in your life.
 
PP said it and you probably don’t need more bad news but Stress Raises Blood Sugar–please get checked today for diabetes

work on changing what can be changed, starting w/your job. DH and I resolved 15 yrs ago never again to work at a job–paid or volunteer–we hate. We choose the place, the people, the work, with pay as a secondary issue. We also plan to move on every few years and try a new place, new people, new home. working out so far.
 
diabetes = negative.

Normal blood glucose, no sugar on urine dipstick.
 
Exercise!

My wife just started karate classes. She loves it. She played tennis in high school, but other than that she is a non-athlete. She started this and has kept up with it better than gym memberships. It is something that helps her burn energy, but more importantly it is one of the few things that she get to do all by herself and for herself. She has also ended he reign on the Pastoral Council recently.

Do more stuff just for yourself.
 
Hi Cat;

Things that help stress–and one can see differences almost immediately:
  1. exercise…I have found that I’m so focused on completing the weight reps, or counting the laps around a track, that my ‘worries’ seem to dissipate.
  2. Praying the Rosary daily…often with soft, meditative music in the background.
  3. Reading a good book–not one that has too much suspense, etc…
  4. Drinking a glass of red wine per day–I don’t do this, but I drink maybe one or two weekly–biweekly. If you’re having migraines, it might trigger more, so might wanna think about that–but this can lower BP.
  5. Go into your bedroom…shut to the door…for 15 minutes…just breathe deeply…like watch your stomach rise and fall (not your chest) This is in Dr Weil’s book…about breathing. We often breathe very shallow all day, without noticing, and this will refocus your breaths and help you to focus away from your stress.
  6. Buy a punching bag…and hang it in your basement, and take out your frustrations on that. My dh does this sometimes–plus it’s great exercise.
  7. I know that you say you’re being overweight has never been an issue for you, but if a person has been carrying around excess weight for years (not sure if you have or not), it can impact his/her joints, feet, etc…so while it might never have been an issue in the past foryou, the problems that often stem from being overweight, can slowly be creeping up at this stage. Just a thought. Even dropping 10% of your body weight, can lower your BP, and help with your management of stress.
  8. A nice cup of warm soy milk (light chocolate is my fave) per night…(not right after the wine though lol that might cause your stomach aches to get worse!)😛
  9. Ask your doc about a good vitamin B complex. I take a blue green algae supp, and while it is packed with B’s, and give me energy, B’s are also known for stabilizing one’s nervous system.
I hope these tips help…and hope you find your groove as it relates to lowering your stress. (((hugs)))
 
I appreciate everyone’s caring advice.

I WISH I could find exercise relaxing, but I don’t. 😦

I’ve been a member of a gym for three years now, and I’ve been fairly faithful about going 2-3 times/week (although I confess I haven’t been in a month now–just can’t do it anymore).

It really just adds more stress. I have to get dressed, go workout, then come home, shower, change. I HAVE to shower, because I am usually dripping wet after a workout.

And it hurts. My knee and foot are sometimes so stiff that I can’t even put weight on it.

Sigh.

I do elliptical (the only aerobic exercse other than swimming that my doctors have OKed, due to my knee joint–biking and walking out O-U-T out) and light weights. A little stretching, but not much. So it’s not like I’m doing a triathelon here!

But this “relaxing” exercise ends up adding about an hour and a half to my already busy evening. By the time I finish it, it’s time for dinner, and then I’ve had no time at all to “relax.”

As for swimming, forget it. I can’t SEE without my glasses, and I do not find it relaxing to be unable to see.

I’m sorry, pals, but exercise it not relaxing or pleasant for me. I think I’ll do better to consider exercise a “trial” that I must do to remain alive rather than trying to pretend that I enjoy it. I really, really hate it. Sorry. Sorry.

😦

By the way, everyone, I don’t drink alcohol at all. If I did, I would be on skid row within a month. No one in my family drinks, except for two people, and they were alcoholics and ended up dead of alcohol-related diseases. Sorry. It’s just not a wise decision for me to start drinking alcohol. (If you’ve seen some of my other posts in other threads, you’ll know that Cat is the Carrie Nation of CAF!
 
Cat said:
I appreciate everyone’s caring advice.

I WISH I could find exercise relaxing, but I don’t. 😦
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OK - can you resign some of your community activities that are stressing you out? You said you were involved with several that you have not started yet. As difficult as it is, can you give these up?
 
Wear headphones or foam earplugs at work. Noise is a real stressor, and a fatigue producer.

Two things that de-stress me:
  1. Spending a Holy Hour with the Blessed Sacrament.
  2. Spending half an hour or so at a shooting range. Don’t ask me why… I’m not blowing off steam, just target shooting.
I went through menopause a couple of years ago, and now my blood pressure is finally back to normal, and I’m finally losing some weight.

I still need to exercise more, though; don’t stop exercising. How about changing your workout to something more enjoyable? Any bike paths near you? Power walking? Rollerblading? Horseback riding?

Praying for you,

Ruthie
 
Cat said:
I appreciate everyone’s caring advice.

I WISH I could find exercise relaxing, but I don’t. 😦

I’ve been a member of a gym for three years now, and I’ve been fairly faithful about going 2-3 times/week (although I confess I haven’t been in a month now–just can’t do it anymore).

It really just adds more stress. I have to get dressed, go workout, then come home, shower, change. I HAVE to shower, because I am usually dripping wet after a workout.

And it hurts. My knee and foot are sometimes so stiff that I can’t even put weight on it.

Sigh.

I do elliptical (the only aerobic exercse other than swimming that my doctors have OKed, due to my knee joint–biking and walking out O-U-T out) and light weights. A little stretching, but not much. So it’s not like I’m doing a triathelon here!

But this “relaxing” exercise ends up adding about an hour and a half to my already busy evening. By the time I finish it, it’s time for dinner, and then I’ve had no time at all to “relax.”

As for swimming, forget it. I can’t SEE without my glasses, and I do not find it relaxing to be unable to see.

I’m sorry, pals, but exercise it not relaxing or pleasant for me. I think I’ll do better to consider exercise a “trial” that I must do to remain alive rather than trying to pretend that I enjoy it. I really, really hate it. Sorry. Sorry.

😦

By the way, everyone, I don’t drink alcohol at all. If I did, I would be on skid row within a month. No one in my family drinks, except for two people, and they were alcoholics and ended up dead of alcohol-related diseases. Sorry. It’s just not a wise decision for me to start drinking alcohol. (If you’ve seen some of my other posts in other threads, you’ll know that Cat is the Carrie Nation of CAF!
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I hear ya (except for the drinking part. Me and Sam Adams are on a first-name basis). 😛

I too LOATHE AND DESPISE exercise. But I’ve gotten to the point where my body feels like someone poured plaster in it, then lit the stuff on fire.

My story is much like yours. I got a free ride for many years, now I can’t sleep, can’t move, and, well, won’t bore you with the rest, apart from the fact that I couldn’t write a single word for three long, dry, barren years.

Sometimes the Rosary helps alleviate stress. But to be truthful, all sorts of well-meaning advice about ‘imaging yourself in a happy place,’ or deep breathing, or self-help relaxation tapes----they don’t work for me.

Drinking does, temporarily, but that’s not for you. Maybe a LOW-level relaxation pill might, but maybe not.

I think all this stuff has more to do with the age we’ve hit than anything else. And I don’t know what else to do but to do what you’ve already done and make sure you are still physically healthy. :hug1:
 
Ruthie said:
Wear headphones or foam earplugs at work. Noise is a real stressor, and a fatigue producer.

Two things that de-stress me:
  1. Spending a Holy Hour with the Blessed Sacrament.
  2. Spending half an hour or so at a shooting range. Don’t ask me why… I’m not blowing off steam, just target shooting.
I went through menopause a couple of years ago, and now my blood pressure is finally back to normal, and I’m finally losing some weight.

I still need to exercise more, though; don’t stop exercising. How about changing your workout to something more enjoyable? Any bike paths near you? Power walking? Rollerblading? Horseback riding?

Praying for you,

Ruthie
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Sorry, Ruthie. Because of a bad foot and knee, pretty much all exercise is off limits for me except elliptical and swimming, and I’m not a swimmer. I’m not even supposed to walk, and when I do walk, I hurt after just a few hundred yards. (e.g., walking through a Mall to a department store). Basically, I’m supposed to avoid exercises that put weight on my knee. We’re trying to hold out on a replacement until I’m at least in my 60s (I’m 51 now), or until they perfect a knee replacement for younger people. (It was nice hearing the orthopedic doctor call me “younger!”).

At least there are TV sets in front of our ellipticals. And I like to read magazines while I work out. I’ve tried doing the Rosary, too, and it’s pretty good–the max. time I can do on the elliptical before it has a negative effect (hurts the foot and knee) is 20 minutes, which is Rosary-Time!
 
Cat said:
diabetes = negative.

Normal blood glucose, no sugar on urine dipstick.
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good news indeed
I agree with those who advise doing something for yourself, whether it is karate, swimming, or a manicure, every week

I could not swim if I fell out of a boat, but I spend 1/2 hour in the pool (fortunately warm this time of year) every day just walking or “cross country skiing” motion, and moving if it is a bad day, or doing seniors aquasize on a good day. cannot take treadmill, bike or other machines. have not been swimming for a month, tho, as the pool was not cleaned after the hurricane until last week, and we have had thunderstorms every evening. one is starting now after I just put on my suit. I stopped walking on the pavement and walk with friends on the HS track because it is that material made from old tires, much easier on the feet and knees.
 
I tried editing my post, Cat, but I wuz 2 late. 😃

But when all else fails, lie fallow.
 
Cat, why not inquire at your optometrist’s about getting prescription swimming goggles?

Ruthie
 
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