YES - -LOL.
No problem!Yes decent was a bad choice of words. There is nothing wrong with taking help from family or the government if you qualify for it. Please don’t think I think otherwise. I would very much be on government assistance programs if my husband dies first.
Hmm…I don’t know what word to replace it with. He truly thinks he’s taking from others who need it more.
But there is no indecency in receiving needed assistance. Decent was truly a bad choice of words. Sorry!
Maybe it’s for safety?
.). There’s really not always an easy answer to these questions. That’s why Dave never worked for us.The impression I got, and certainly the op needs to clarify us that HE is the irresponsible one. He states that. The only thing he states about his wife is that she blames him for some things. So I’d imagine she is not the problem here. I’m pretty sure she Would be on board with not shopping at nordstroms if she knew the house might be gone when she got back…
I’ve tried, but he’s adamant. He won’t do it. He did say that if he becomes long-term sick or disabled himself he would apply, at least for myself and my needs. So there’s that at least. This is just one of the battles I let go. We do receive some assistance from family when things are extra bad. But that’s the extent of what he’s comfortable doing.
I’ve never lived in Detroit. I have lived a little south west of there in Indiana. I know the sheer hopelessness that the rust belt feels. Many in this country don’t know how bad it is. There are places you would not believe would exist in a first world country. And I know about the crime. Chicagoland is someplace you never want to stop your minivan filled with kids in. There are so many factors in that area of the country that others don’t understand. Race is the elephant in the room. Poverty, crime, poor access to care or programs.Maybe it’s for safety?
We live in one of the most dangerous cities in America. Has beat Detroit before and now continually ranks in the top five. Gun crimes, gangs, murders galore, the big stuff. After I was followed home by a guy I didn’t know, we knew we had to move whatever it took. We can’t afford the down-payments to get a house, but we do invest a couple hundred extra a month to live where it is realively safer (if anywhere in this city is really safe
You sound like you are handeling it like a perfect spouse. Certainly not everything is worth going to war over! Your view sounds gentle and kind to the man you love even though you may not agree. That is the best thing ever.
One day at a time. Sometimes only one second at a time. It doesn’t matter if you were ready and mature enough now or then. The fact is you have children and you must mature now and do it quickly.
We live in Memphis. It is crazy poor in places. We look like millionaires in comparison. And the government here is oblivious. It’s corrupt and it says it will help but it doesn’t. Memphis schools got disowned by the city of Memphis. They just up and gave up. And left a royal mess. It just gets worse and worse. Where we live is being taken over by those trying to flee the city, many cause of life threatening crime, others cause of the school failure. Our housing and apartment rents are going through the roof. We don’t know if we can continue living here. We may have to return to the city. Which will only get more corrupt and dangerous as the wave of city fleeing persons continues our way. There is no where else to go. We are landlocked because of the river. It’s just really a nightmare for all.I’ve never lived in Detroit. I have lived a little south west of there in Indiana. I know the sheer hopelessness that the rust belt feels. Many in this country don’t know how bad it is. There are places you would not believe would exist in a first world country. And I know about the crime. Chicagoland is someplace you never want to stop your minivan filled with kids in. There are so many factors in that area of the country that others don’t understand. Race is the elephant in the room. Poverty, crime, poor access to care or programs.
One thing I learned doing my time out there is that people perhaps are not aware that there are places that are not like that. There really is a land of milk and honey west of the Mississippi.
I’m not saying there is no poverty in salt lake, Denver, Portland, Seattle, Boise etc. but I am saying you can sit on a curb in white pants without worrying about standing back up.
I know jobs and family tend to keep people where they are at but sometimes o wonder at what cost. Especially in Detroit. Certainly not now, you have so much going on, but maybe a little " go west young man" should be on your horizon. Just not Cali, the Detroit of the west coast!
One bad thing about the west, particularly the northwest. Is the church is still in “mission” mode. Good Catholic parishes are hard to come by. ( they do exist). But there is not the historical Catholic culture like in the east and Midwest.
Yes. Your wife can’t help you unless she knows what is going on. Make sure she understands the situation. Also, as HD mentioned earlier, Dave Ramsey.