Stressed out over discerning my vocation. Please help

[John_Monaco]

Hello all,

I’m pretty sure everyone here knows me by now; if not:

My name is John Monaco. I’m 16 years old, and entering my senior year at my public high school. Ever since a young age, I have always desired to become closer with Jesus, and become a priest. Recently however, I have been conflicted with deciding between becoming an order priest, or a diocesan. I do not have all the time in the world to decide, for I need to apply to colleges. I need to use the precious 5-7 months I have left to decide, because I’m either going to St. Charles Borromeo Seminary in Philadelphia (diocesan), or to pre-formation/formation programs for the order. Now here are my three options at this time, to be considering.

1.) I met with a Capuchin brother, who had a discussion with me on joining their order. I am planning on attending their discernment weekends this summer/fall, and I love what they do, from what I’ve read.

2.) Continue on with the formation process for the Archdiocese (just took first psychiatric test, awaiting results), and then eventually becoming a diocesan priest.

3.) Keep talking/getting information from the Oblates of the Virgin Mary, visit, etc.

I believe the conflict that resides with me asks the question, “Do I want to become an order priest, or diocesan?” I’ve been extremely stressed out about this question, because I have split feelings.

If I choose the Capuchins (perhaps the Oblates, but more so the OFM Cap), I will be happy in the sense that I want to help the poor, sick, and needy directly; meaning, I would love to go to them and give them everything I could. That’s something I see within the Capuchin lifestyle, is that they go and serve those most in need. I would not have a problem taking a vow of chastity (obviously lol), obedience, however the poverty one would be the hardest, if hard at all, to follow. I’m sure with maturity I’d be able to accept it.

If I choose the diocesan path, I would be able to do what I want the most: Mass, hearing Confessions, Annointing the Sick/Last Rites. I would also be able to preach/deliver my homilies, and that is also something I like a lot. Our Archdiocese, like so many others, are in such a serious shortage of priests, that I could get my education and become ordained, then move back home and help those in need. I mean, ever since my childhood, when wanting to become a priest, it was always the diocesan priest that I dreamed of, and never the order until a month ago.

I know I am ignorant on so many levels, to which I can respond that my knowledge of these two vocation paths will grow immensely as I learn more. I just want CAF’s advice, because it has legitimately helped before. Ultimately, I will have to make the decision myself, but it would seriously help if I had some opnions on what I should do, based on what I described.

Thank you so much CAF, and I will keep this thread active so I can respond to anything I can.

Pax et amor,

John Monaco

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

For me it came down to that I wanted community life. This is how I decided to go with a religious order.

Next comes do you feel called to the priesthood or not. If you, as I do, feel called to the priesthood then you will chose a clerical order.

What also worked into my decision was that I wanted to join a religious order as opposed to a religious community. There is a difference. Some religious communities are really just a collection of secular priests rather than a true religious order.

In my order, the Carmelites, we make the vows of chastity, obedience, and poverty (the evangelical counsels), Priestly societies/fraternities do not do this.

It is my understanding that the Capuchins are not a clerical order, or trying to change that they are one. So if you feel a calling to the priesthood I would make sure that you will be on the path to ordination.

Another thing to think of is that the way of a diocesen priest is very limited in both were you can go and what you can do while life in a religious order/community is a bit more open.

To pick an order I suggest that you go and visit them and get to know them. This is how I picked the Carmelites. You can’t possibly meet all of them but look for those that interest you.

Hope this helps you out a bit.

 

[John_Monaco]

oops my bad. sorry lol i was gonna respond and then I realized what I posted was answered by you haa

 

[JReducation]

I agree with what Br. David has said. I will add here that the older Franciscan order, the three branches of the Friars Minor (Capuchin, Conventual and Franciscans) and the Third Order Regular of Penance (TOR) are moving away from the clerical “model”, for lack of a better term.

They still ordain men, but the emphasis in their formation and recruitment is on the vocation to be a Franciscan. The priesthood will always be part of the Franciscan family. We have had priests in the family since our foundation in 1209.

Over the centuries, the clerics outnumbered the lay brothers. Gradually, the order became a clerical order. The lay brothers became servants to the clerics and were not allowed to serve in positions of authority or to pursue advanced studies in theology.

Since the 1970s, the new constitutions of the the four obediences (OFM Cap, OFM, OFM Conv, and TOR) changed these regulations and returned to the original model. All friars enjoy the same status in the community and all enjoy the same rights and obligations. Therefore, the order has lay brothers who are superiors, theologians, pastoral assistants, chaplains, scholars and professionals, as well as in the trades and other domestic duties.

The determination as to where a friar will serve best is determined by the friar in constant discernment with the formation team and the major superior. There are evaluations throughout the formation period. As you go through the formation period, you will receive feedback on you suitability for the Franciscan life and Holy Orders.

It is important to remember that one can have a vocation to one without the other. The idea is that one who enters a Franciscan order wants to be a Franciscan. You can be a priest in a clerical institute or a diocese. There are also clerical congregations such as the Vincentians, Oblates, Salesians and many others. Each of these is a gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church.

None of the Franciscan obediences are going to trick you into becoming a Franciscan only to tell you that you may not be ordained. This is not what Br. David is saying. The fact is that the formation program in the four obediences is the same for all the friars.

There are other Franciscan congregations that are clerical, such as the Franciscans of the Reform, the Franciscans of the Immaculate, the Franciscan Missionaries of the Eternal Word, and the Franciscans of the Primitive Observance.

However, in these congregations, the ordained friars usually do not engage in traditional priestly ministry. For example, the Franciscans of the Renewal do not run parishes. They target the man on the street, youth and retreat work. The Franciscans of the Eternal Word are contemplatives and involved in communications. The Franciscans of the Primitive Observance do not engage in any parish work. They live among the poor and do street ministry. These are not the typical parish priests who witness marriages, perform baptisms every weekend, hear confessions every Saturday, annoint the sick at the local hosptial. These are not their areas of action.

The Capuchins are still engaged in parish work and the ordained friars do traditional parish work. I have not been around them for a while. When our community was founded, our first brothers did their novitiate under their guidance. The last I heard, they were putting more friars in the field of urban ministry, missions and the poor.

My suggestion is that you dialogue with the vocation director and also, get a good spiritual director, if you do not yet have one.

If you’re looking for Franciscan life, check out the different obediences, as well as some of the younger communities. Whatever you do, make sure that if you decide on the Franciscan family that you feel called to live the Gospel in the maner of St. Francis. Otherwise, you are going to be very unhappy; because the Franciscan family places a great deal of emphasis on Francis’ immitation of Christ and his obedience to the Church.

Fraternally in St. Francis,

Br. JR, OSF

PS. Br. David and I are usually on the same sheet of music. Whatever we help you with, do call on us.

 

[Loganilo]

Hi,Well the information that you have given is really very good. But i don’t have any idea about this to share with you. But i will try to get it for you.

Istanbul

 

[skallal]

Hey John,

What a great problem to have! Now is the time to be thankful that you are already so far along in your discernment. It sounds like you have some wonderful options opening up before you, and the determination to taste each one. Why not approach this time with a spirit of delighted expectation, knowing that if God has already brought you so far, he will surely lead you the rest of the way?

Also please realize that a vocation is not so much what you do or where you are as who you become… That’s what God really cares about, that you become the man he’s called you to be… Continue to be faithful to prayer, to grow in virtue, to live a simple, quiet life, to surround yourself with good people, and I assure you that God will give you tremendous peace of heart when you experience the “home” and the “family” He’s chosen for you, don’t you think?

In Christ,

Brother Scott
Seminarian
Apostles of the Interior Life, Rome

 

[Eucharisted]

Entrust everything to God and trust in Him. He wants to take care of you.