stressed today

[Kathrin]

I wanted to do too many things at once. I also want to go to church tonight, a friend is coming with me. It is working out, but I tried to do too many other things and got into stress… then wanted to get online and at the library started mumbling to myself kind of to make people see how stressed I am, so maybe somebody would let me go first… then I felt really bad about that and apologized and went out, deciding to pay at an internet cafe. I hope they all heard my apology. I don’t want anybody to feel guilty for not letting me go first. If they werre aware of me at all…

I went into a quiet church and lit two candles and prayed and got calmed down, asked God for forgiveness. But then at the next cafe I saw a long line and started stressing out all over again!! Realizing if I wanted to ask them to let me go first, I should just ask and not hint at it by jumping around… which I did, and it was ok. Still, I felt guilty, I must have made people nervous AGAIN.

AND it was the wrong cafe. Now I am at the right one, and I still had time to do what I needed to do online AND write this AND check my e-mail and I am still making it to meet my friend to go to church. So what the stress.

I wonder how big my sin is though. For being so nervous. Then asking God for forgiveness, and then doing almost the same all over again. I hope I can go to communion. I do think I need it…

Kathrin

 

[StarMaiden]

Step back, take a deep breath and place everything in the hands of Our Lord. If it is possible try to take a walk outside in a park or garden and listen to nature, Jesus takes care of the smallest of creatures and know that he will take care of you who are close to his heart

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Of course you can go to Communion. One of the conditions for committing mortal sin is that it be of “grave matter.” There is no chance trying to get to the front of a line and making people nervous would be considered “grave matter.” What you really need is peace, maybe a break from your busy schedule. More time to sleep. It’s really hard with such a busy society as that which we have today.

Here’s something I found in Catholic Online about inner peace, I don’t know if you’ll find it helpful or not, but I’d particularly point your attention to the fourth point in this section, because as far as I can see, it looks the most directly connected to what you’re experiencing.

One of the best but least recognized guides is Saint Leonard of Port Maurice (1676-1751), a Franciscan friar known for his preaching in defense of the Immaculate Conception. He offered four “rules” to help achieve peace of soul.

1. To be attached only to God. Status and wealth may be beneficial, but to be overly concerned about them is to invite inner spiritual havoc. The soul’s primary need is communication with its Creator. One needs to view objects and persons in reference to God and His will if peace is to reign. To be “dead” to the world and creatures is paramount.

1. To surrender to Divine Providence. All Catholic spiritual writers are unanimous on this point: Sanctity and inner peace are attained only when God’s will holds sway. The Lord knows best. Humbly accepting His will is vastly different from reluctantly putting up with it. When a person yields to the divine plan, he demonstrates a belief that God will sustain him—come what may.

1. To welcome suffering and hardship. Human nature tends to resist difficulties. Yet, spiritual perfection entails carrying the cross of Jesus. Scorn and rejection from others—while hardly pleasant—must be seen as an opportunity to experience solidarity with the suffering Christ.

1. To undertake only that which our situation in life demands. Often a person takes upon himself too many activities at once. “The more, the better” does not necessarily apply in the realm of good works. Prudence dictates what one can accomplish. Inner turmoil may spring from a plethora of activities, even when they are morally good acts. Prayer and counsel will determine what to undertake and what to forego.

All I can advise is to pray for peace from time to time, maybe meditate on Jesus’ teachings on peace in Scripture, and try to find some time to relax. It might also help to, like StarMaiden just suggested, find some time to be alone with nature, to relax. I like St. Leonard’s suggestion of looking at what activities you have to do and which you don’t absolutely need to do, and then pruning the latter so you have more time to unwind and be alone.

 

[Kathrin]

" “The more, the better” does not necessarily apply in the realm of good works."

This kind of applies to me, ha ha. I kind of feel for every creature I see and go way out of my way to make sure somebody else is safe etc… And I want to do good works. But sometimes I do take on too much at once. My work schedule per se wouldn’t be so busy at all, I get off at 2 usually right now, but then I often have a lot of other things that I feel I need to do… I talk to homeless people on the way too, try to have a nice word where one is needed. And of course, if you try to do too much at once, then you don’t have that inner peace anymore that is the prerequisite for the love you want to spread in this world… or something like that…

Since I tend to be pretty scrupulous, I often feel guilty if I don’t do something I have intened to do. E.g. go visit somebody, etc.

Now a question to the first point of that list! “Be attracted only to God”. My heart knows what is meant, I think. But I have those guilt feelings again: So if I feel drawn to a place, or a person, or to follow a dream, is that wrong? We often say things like “I am attracted to that person”, e.g. Or you feel drawn back to a place where you were happy. Or you feel drawn to follow a certain path in your life.
That must be a different kind of attraction, but we do use that word too don’t we… And I feel very led somewhere or to do something sometimes, and it feels good. That is not what the Saint meant is it?

 

[Lief_Erikson]

" “The more, the better” does not necessarily apply in the realm of good works."

This kind of applies to me, ha ha. I kind of feel for every creature I see and go way out of my way to make sure somebody else is safe etc… And I want to do good works. But sometimes I do take on too much at once. My work schedule per se wouldn’t be so busy at all, I get off at 2 usually right now, but then I often have a lot of other things that I feel I need to do… I talk to homeless people on the way too, try to have a nice word where one is needed. And of course, if you try to do too much at once, then you don’t have that inner peace anymore that is the prerequisite for the love you want to spread in this world… or something like that…

Since I tend to be pretty scrupulous, I often feel guilty if I don’t do something I have intened to do. E.g. go visit somebody, etc.

Yes, I think you’ve got a good idea of what’s going on. If I were you, I would relinquish some of this giving and spend more time relaxing. You know, Jesus was extremely highly in demand during His years of ministry, so He made the time to go out into the mountains alone and pray in solitude. He had to recharge too. That’s the way we’re designed, and I think St. Leonard is right about this helping to create peace.

Now a question to the first point of that list! “Be attracted only to God”. My heart knows what is meant, I think. But I have those guilt feelings again: So if I feel drawn to a place, or a person, or to follow a dream, is that wrong? We often say things like “I am attracted to that person”, e.g. Or you feel drawn back to a place where you were happy. Or you feel drawn to follow a certain path in your life.
That must be a different kind of attraction, but we do use that word too don’t we… And I feel very led somewhere or to do something sometimes, and it feels good. That is not what the Saint meant is it?

No, it’s not. Being drawn to places, people, dreams, or (moral) paths in life is good and normal. God created us that way, and He Himself is that way too. He created the Temple in Israel as a special place His presence would be attracted to, after all . And He has specific “dreams” for His faithful people, and He is drawn very, very strongly toward not just a few people, but everyone, so if any of the things you mentioned were wrong, God Himself would be guilty in those ways. We’re made in the image of God, so we’re like Him in being attracted to people, places and dreams. Being attracted to God alone has more to do with loving Him most, which is a process that develops in each soul throughout life rather than being something that always rips through us in a second.

You love God and are following Him; that’s all you need. He is with you. Try not to worry .

 

[Kathrin]

Lief what you said is so beautifully relieving to me it brings tears to my eyes… Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.

Kathrin

 

[Lief_Erikson]

I’m glad you’re feeling rather better!