Stressed & Worn Out

[My3Stars]

I have worked mostly part time since my children were born. Its never been perfect but its been ok. In May of this year, I took a full time job. My twins started Kindergarten and my younger son is in preschool 3 days a week. My mom watches him otherwise. Since taking this job, its been very stressful on my husband and I. My job is some what demanding as is his. I work 9.5 hour days with some Fridays off. I get home between 5-5:30 but leave for work at 6:30 so I am thoroughly exhausted all the time. I devote what’s left of the evening to the kids but we’re in constant survival mode. I feel physically miserable. My husband and I are on edge with each other and the kids sense the tension I am sure. I have tried and tried to find a part time job but nothing has worked. Things will be extremely tight if I quit without some part time income but we’re almost to that point. I have prayed and prayed for guidance on this but can’t seem to make a decision either way. I feel like sometimes I am one of those people that God would have to hit over the head with a 2 X 4 to “get it” so I struggle with knowing what to do. I don’t want to make the wrong decision and leave without having another job lined up but I don’t know how much longer we can continue like this…It’s taking a real toll on the family. I don’t even feel like the person I use to be. How do you know if you are “trusting in God” with your life and decisions?

 

[Em_in_FL]

Well… I sympathize. I’ve been a full time working mom for 12 1/2 years. You’re right - it’s EXHAUSTING. Our lives were further shaken when my husband lost his job a year and a half ago. So, I get the stress.

Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray… wish I had a more practical quick-fix, but that’s my best answer. St. Jude is a powerful saint… St. Joseph is the patron of workers and families… turn to your advocates and lean on them.

Peace and prayers…

 

[ynotzap]

You were made first and last for God,then for your family. This is the path you chose that leads to your union with God, This establishes your order of priorities. The dedication to your vocation is to live a Christian life by fulfilling your duties of your vocation out of love for God and your family. Marriage is holy, instituted by Jesus and if we co-operate with the grace of God which involves the practice of the virtues of Faith, Hope,and Love ( even to a heroic degree) God by His Providence provides these opportunities to advance in His holiness and love. You are presently involved in a special situation to do just that, to practice the virtue of Hope. Many marriages have been destroyed because of financial problems. Satan wins again. You have these weapons to fight him and win. Any choice you make,( even if you are not sure) that is your best attempt to do the will of God you can be assured it is the right decision Undue stress, loss of peace, and discouragement is not from God, He loves you and yours you are His. P.S He whacked me over the head and I got the physical proof as a loving reminder. Alleluia and Deo gratias,

 

[St_Francis]

One of the ways we can tell is if our God-given priorities are in His order. As a creature made in the image and likeness of God, He is your first priority. As a person, your self is your second priority. As a wife, your husband is your third priority. As a mother, your children are your fourth prriority.

Your state of life, your family, is suffering because of this job. This is not good.

You say that things will be tight if you quit this job without having a pt job… bit right now things are tight for your family. Money is not the only resource a family needs, nor is it the most important.

 

[ynotzap]

You were made first and last for God,then for your family. This is the path you chose that leads to your union with God, This establishes your order of priorities. The dedication to your vocation is to live a Christian life by fulfilling your duties of your vocation out of love for God and your family. Marriage is holy, instituted by Jesus and if we co-operate with the grace of God which involves the practice of the virtues of Faith, Hope,and Love ( even to a heroic degree) God by His Providence provides these opportunities to advance in His holiness and love. You are presently involved in a special situation to do just that, to practice the virtue of Hope. Many marriages have been destroyed because of financial problems. Satan wins again. You have these weapons to fight him and win. Any choice you make,( even if you are not sure) that is your best attempt to do the will of God you can be assured it is the right decision Undue stress, loss of peace, and discouragement is not from God, He loves you and yours you are His. P.S He whacked me over the head and I got the physical proof as a loving reminder. Alleluia and Deo gratias, “Can you by all your worry cause one strand of hair to grow…Jesus”

 

[My3Stars]

I appreciate the responses. I guess I feel like me working is helping support the family but then again I know things would be better in other aspects if I was home more. If I quit now I struggle with the idea that if I can’t find something part time then I let my family down. On the other hand, I feel like by staying knowing its become a strain, I am not trusting God in some way. Then part of me wonders if this is something God wants me to wait it out for some reason. I have prayed and prayed and come very close to letting my employer know I plan to leave but always stop short. I feel like in the past I have interpreted what God wants wrong and now I am scared to make a decision.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I appreciate the responses. I guess I feel like me working is helping support the family but then again I know things would be better in other aspects if I was home more. If I quit now I struggle with the idea that if I can’t find something part time then I let my family down. On the other hand, I feel like by staying knowing its become a strain, I am not trusting God in some way. Then part of me wonders if this is something God wants me to wait it out for some reason. I have prayed and prayed and come very close to letting my employer know I plan to leave but always stop short. I feel like in the past I have interpreted what God wants wrong and now I am scared to make a decision.

I symphathize. I’ve worked since my babies were little also. I’ve had several work arrangements - full time, part-time, sharing one job with another employee, working with a long commute, working from home, etc. (The funny part is that most of those options were all with the same company.)

It is true that money is not the only stress on a family - obviously you are seeing that now. However, it is also true that money is not completely equivalent to time. If you were home full time you would be saving on car/gas costs, eating out, and monay other categories. However, some bills - like student debt, rent, heat, light, etc - can only be reduced so far and must be paid with cash.

Try implementing more than one solution to your problem:

Can you or your husband negotiate a different schedule at work? If your commute is long than 4 10-hour days would be better than 5 8-hour days. Especially if you could both do that, with a staggered schedule you would both only be gone 3 days a week.

Other schedule choices are to shift your hours later or earlier (that could improve your commute as well).

If you can’t find a part-time job elsewhere, talk to your employeer about splitting your job with another employee. This can either be a formal job-sharing or simply a split into two part-time jobs with overlapping hours. Of course this will have an effect on your benefits, but working patr-time at all will also.

Are there parts of your job that you could do from home? Perhaps be at work part of the day or week and do the rest from home? You would still need your mom to watch the kids when they aren’t at school, but you can get a it of home stuff done in the time you save from commutes.

I know it’s hard to think of adding anything to your schedule, but time ion adoration is so helpful when you are making a big decision like this. Commit to at least a few minutes of quiet time listening for God each evening. It will help!

Finally, I know things like crock pot dinners always get laughed at, but it is nice to have a hot dinner waiting when everyone gets home!

 

[ynotzap]

Let go and let God! Do we love God enough to trust Him? This is

very hard for human nature to do, we need spiritual help called

supernatural grace. We want guarantees. Give God the benefit

of the doubt. Tell Him in prayer "I can’t handle it, you do it " The

whole purpose of these trials is by prayer we go to Jesus to supply

our needs and by doing so He shows that He is our greatest need

We learn to love God for Himself and not just for His gifts. It"s all

about Divine Love. Pray for me that I practice what I preach

 

[St_Francis]

I appreciate the responses. I guess I feel like me working is helping support the family but then again I know things would be better in other aspects if I was home more. If I quit now I struggle with the idea that if I can’t find something part time then I let my family down. On the other hand, I feel like by staying knowing its become a strain, I am not trusting God in some way. Then part of me wonders if this is something God wants me to wait it out for some reason. I have prayed and prayed and come very close to letting my employer know I plan to leave but always stop short. I feel like in the past I have interpreted what God wants wrong and now I am scared to make a decision.

In our society, we are very pragmatic in a very materialist way. Society tells us we are practically meaningless if we are not economic producers. This can be very hard on stay-at-home mothers, who are actually doing the most important job in the world!

Look at your finances. Considering the expenses of working: transpost, clothing, meals, child care, how much is left over? I once figured out that after all those expenses, I would have earned 50 cents an hour for each hour I was away from home: $200 for full-time work. That wasn’t going to cut it for me, so I stayed home and tried to *save *$200/month–by making instead of buying, etc. Not that I was very good at it but working just didn’t make sense.

Consider too the stress vs the extra you are actually bringing in: how necessary is that money? If your budget would be merely tight without that money, think of some ways to save here and there, which you would have time for if you weren’t working,

I really think the stress you are feeling is God’s way of telling you what His will is…