Strong Love

[PelagiathePenit]

It’s weird. I know for some reason my former boyfriend and I are not compatible. We are always being dragged apart, either for school or for work. Just something makes me feel like we are not meant to be together. I love him so strongly though. I think we are “spiritually” compatible. Where am I weak, he is strong. I thought this means we should be good romantic partners. We have dated three or more times, IT NEVER WORKS. I have prayed about it, I know we can’t be together. I don’t understand, why do I love him so strongly though? He makes ,e want to be a better person.

 

[Beryllos]

Feelings and reason don’t always agree. That is distressing because both feelings and reason are essential parts of us. How can one part of us disagree with another?

I don’t know if you want advice. If so, you might need to tell more specifically what is wrong with the relationship, and what is right. If you just want someone to read and understand, please be assured that many of us have been in similarly conflicted situations. I am praying for you. May the Holy Spirit assist and guide you always toward a life of love and peace.

 

[Stephen_says]

I hope this doesn’t sound too distant or unsympathetic, but romantic love is a complex biological function that affects our brains in similar ways as drugs like morphine and cocaine, so it’s only natural for these feelings to be strong! It sounds like your relationship was good, and not self-destructive, which is great, but as the previous poster alluded too, sometimes things just don’t work out, and there is no one to blame, which makes it all the harder to move on

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Sometimes, what you describe is just the way that it is. It is possible to love others strongly and yet not enter into the sort of deeper relationship you speak of with them. We are not meant to be romantically involved with everybody we love. I would even venture to suggest that if we are loving correctly, there will be lots of people we love profoundly and unconditionally with whom we will never bond in a romantic sense.

Cherish the connection you two seem to have! From what I have seen not everyone experiences it, not even once in their lifetime.

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Sometimes, what you describe is just the way that it is. It is possible to love others strongly and yet not enter into the sort of deeper relationship you speak of with them. We are not meant to be romantically involved with everybody we love. I would even venture to suggest that if we are loving correctly, there will be lots of people we love profoundly and unconditionally with whom we will never bond in a romantic sense.

Cherish the connection you two seem to have! From what I have seen not everyone experiences it, not even once in their lifetime.

I guess I assumed if you love someone deeply of the opposite sex that equals romantic love. It is hard to imagine a man and woman loving each other deeply without their being sex or romance involved.

 

[SighGuy]

Regards your latest post: For mere mortals like us, you are right more often than not, Pelagia!

I used to insist that there was such a thing as Platonic relations between men and women who were relatively attractive and of an ability to marry one another… but time after time (after time) has proven me wrong. Sure, in the rarest of occasions, but for the most part it is so. A man and woman who meet normal requirements to be romantically engaged will not, I suppose, be moved to great levels of love for one another without falling into love.

Your situation sounds very difficult. Please remember Christ and His Cross all the time. I am currently suffering from a different strain of the same sort, so I feel compassion for you!

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Regards your latest post: For mere mortals like us, you are right more often than not, Pelagia!

I used to insist that there was such a thing as Platonic relations between men and women who were relatively attractive and of an ability to marry one another… but time after time (after time) has proven me wrong. Sure, in the rarest of occasions, but for the most part it is so. A man and woman who meet normal requirements to be romantically engaged will not, I suppose, be moved to great levels of love for one another without falling into love.

Your situation sounds very difficult. Please remember Christ and His Cross all the time. I am currently suffering from a different strain of the same sort, so I feel compassion for you!

You are right. It is very difficult for me to believe men and women can just be friends past puberty.