Strong Pull towards Religious Life AND Marriage

[LilFranciscan25]

In the past year and a half, I have felt as though I have a call to religious life. I’ve been drawn to one community in particular within the past 6 months, but because of a problem, I’ve fallen out of discernment with them. I don’t feel called to them anymore. I actually started really feeling drawn to the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal and I really want to go and do a “Come and See” weekend.

However, in the past 2 weeks, I have had a really strong desire for marriage. It’s so strong that I wonder if I should start dating to check into it further. I’ve dated before, but the men were not practicing Catholics, and I know a very faithful Catholic who told me he was drawn to marriage, and I have an attraction to him. If I dated someone, I would consider dating him.

I don’t have a meeting with my spiritual director until July 8th, and I’m probably going to have to reschedule it because of a job offer that I might get and I have to attend some meetings. I don’t know what to do. I certainly don’t want to start dating without the advice of my spiritual director, and I feel like I should pray about it. I would hate to start dating and have it go farther and I ignore a call to religious life, but then I wonder if dating would make the call to religious life stronger?

Have any of you felt called to be married AND to be a religious? What did you do about it?

 

[Shin]

'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus.
(The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:5-12)

Who would prefer to be in the care of even the best of spouses in the world compared to the One who is All Good, and regards His religious and virgins as His fairest of flowers, and rewards them with gifts of pure grace no one in the world can see?

In regards to the religious life I don’t consider the ‘feeling’ method to working it out a good one. I prefer the practical method.

Can you do it? Can you live the religious life? Can you live up to its responsibilities and duties? Do you wish to love God purely and perfectly?

If the answer is yes, then surely you are called to be a religious? Who would not prefer the better state? If you have the capacity, there is the call – the graces necessary were given to you to do it.

Any feelings otherwise would likely be a temptation, and dating a certain mistake and the best way to ruin a vocation – nothing like passions to drive out the Holy Spirit. I would not either recommend dating normally, but instead friendship first for seeking potential spouses.

Everyone is called to be perfect. Marriage is generally for people who have a problem with concupiscence, or who, because they knew no better, have already entered into it. It is the less to be preferred good, because it is harder to serve God in, one is kept busy by many cares of the world. Like Mary and Martha’s works, both are good, but one is better.

Also people who are married live in the world. The world compared to religion is like comparing heaven and hell… or as St. Bernard of Clairvaus says: ‘He who leaves the convent to return to the world, quits the company of angels to join that of the devil.’

One would need to specially discern that one was called to marriage rather than religion generally.

We should all, if we are capable of it, naturally desire what is better.

As to the matter of -which- religious order a person should join, that is also a practical decision, and one to be greatly prayed over and researched, because it can be quite difficult to find a good place to be. It can take a long time.

One should look for one of strict observance, strong tradition and austerity. A love of silence is a good sign. Without strict observance, an order will not purify you through obedience. Without tradition, you will be the more endangered in an order which is leading away from the Church, and obedience becomes a trial of discernment of Church teachings. Without austerity, you will not be able to practice evangelical poverty.

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori’s book ‘The True Spouse of Jesus Christ’ is a great book for religious and potential religious.

‘Seek God at least late, since He has now for a long time been warning and exhorting you through the prophet, saying: “Seek God, and your soul shall live.”’

St. Cyprian of Carthage

‘St. Scholastica said that if men knew the peace that good religious enjoy, the whole world would become a monastery; and St. Mary Magdalene of Pazzi said that all, if they knew it, would scale the walls of the monasteries, in order to get into them. The human heart having been created for an infinite good, all creatures cannot content it, they being finite, imperfect, and few; God alone, who is an infinite good, can render it content. Delight in the Lord and He will give thee the request of thy heart? Oh no; a good religious united with God envies none of the princes of the world who possess kingdoms, riches, and honors. “Let the rich,” he will say with St. Paulinus, “have their riches, the kings have their kingdoms: to me Christ is my kingdom and my glory.”’

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

 

[goforgoal]

I watched a religious movie called, “St. Francis of Assisi” It made me think of you. At the end of the movie it said, “Pax et Bonum” Peace and all Good. What a wonderful way to greet someone.

I know it can be discouraging and frustrating and you probably don’t want to feel this way.
I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone.

Even though, that cross may seem heavy, it may seem like a burden, it may seem like no one understands, it may seem that no one is there. If you look closer you will see that Our Lord is there helping you carry your cross.

You are not alone…:hug1:

Please take a look at Sister John Mary’s story (yes, I posted this before if you’re curious)

passionistnuns.org/vocationstories/findinglove/

Fransican Sisters…I think the pictures and quotes are simply beautiful

youtube.com/watch?v=0_mblv75CRA

St. Francis of Assisi Prayer sung by Angelina:

youtube.com/watch?v=ZI1Gst7pEqc

Prayer for One’s Vocation

Eternal Father, I believe in Your infinite wisdom and love. I believe that You have created me for heaven, that You have traced for me the way with all the necessary graces to arrive at it, and that there You await me for the eternal reward of a faithful servant.

I beseech You, through the merits of Jesus Christ my divine Master, and through Mary, Queen of Apostles, enlighten my mind and strengthen my will that I may clearly see this way and generously tread along this path.

Help me so that at the moment of death I may be able to say as St. Paul did: “I have finished my course, I have fought the good fight; for the rest there is laid up for me a crown of justice.” Amen

 

[LilFranciscan25]

Thank you so much of reminding me how much I love St. Francis! That brought peace to my heart that I should continue discerning religious life.

It’s kind of confusing that I feel this way because I’ve often counseled others to continue to discern religious life when they feel called to marriage, and here I am in the same predicament. LOL!

Pax et Bonum!

 

[LilFranciscan25]

'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus.
(The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:5-12)

Who would prefer to be in the care of even the best of spouses in the world compared to the One who is All Good, and regards His religious and virgins as His fairest of flowers, and rewards them with gifts of pure grace no one in the world can see?

In regards to the religious life I don’t consider the ‘feeling’ method to working it out a good one. I prefer the practical method.

Can you do it? Can you live the religious life? Can you live up to its responsibilities and duties? Do you wish to love God purely and perfectly?

If the answer is yes, then surely you are called to be a religious? Who would not prefer the better state? If you have the capacity, there is the call – the graces necessary were given to you to do it.

Any feelings otherwise would likely be a temptation, and dating a certain mistake and the best way to ruin a vocation – nothing like passions to drive out the Holy Spirit. I would not either recommend dating normally, but instead friendship first for seeking potential spouses.

Everyone is called to be perfect. Marriage is generally for people who have a problem with concupiscence, or who, because they knew no better, have already entered into it. It is the less to be preferred good, because it is harder to serve God in, one is kept busy by many cares of the world. Like Mary and Martha’s works, both are good, but one is better.

Also people who are married live in the world. The world compared to religion is like comparing heaven and hell… or as St. Bernard of Clairvaus says: ‘He who leaves the convent to return to the world, quits the company of angels to join that of the devil.’

One would need to specially discern that one was called to marriage rather than religion generally.

We should all, if we are capable of it, naturally desire what is better.

I’m sorry, Shin. I don’t quite agree with your statement that religious life is more perfect than marriage. That is incorrect, IMHO. Marriage in the Church is a Sacrament–a sacred union between husband and wife. Of course, one must be called to the life of marriage, but I don’t think that one is better than the other. To say that someone who found out they weren’t called to the convent and decided to leave is joining the company of the devil is quite flawed. Sure, the world has it’s evils, but God unites those in marriage who are called to give themselves to each other, and will bestow the necessary graces needed to achieve holiness. Look at Bl. Louis and Zelie Martin! They both felt that they had a calling to religious life, but it was not to be. Louis couldn’t learn Latin–a necessary component in religious life at the time, and Zelie had problems with her health that prevented her from being accepted in religious life. They were married and are now on the way to canonization in the Church! Married life can be a path to sainthood, but just a little more difficult. If one is not called to one or the other, but chooses the wrong path, of course it’s going to be difficult, but didn’t God give us free will?

I hope you don’t think I’m trying to argue with you, but I really do think that marriage is often looked at as being the lesser of the two choices by those who are discerning religious life. I think married life should be embraced by those discerning because they are entering into a spiritual marriage with their Spouse! There is no other greater than Him.

Pax et Bonum!

 

[nodito]

In the past year and a half, I have felt as though I have a call to religious life. I’ve been drawn to one community in particular within the past 6 months, but because of a problem, I’ve fallen out of discernment with them. I don’t feel called to them anymore. I actually started really feeling drawn to the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal and I really want to go and do a “Come and See” weekend.

However, in the past 2 weeks, I have had a really strong desire for marriage. It’s so strong that I wonder if I should start dating to check into it further. I’ve dated before, but the men were not practicing Catholics, and I know a very faithful Catholic who told me he was drawn to marriage, and I have an attraction to him. If I dated someone, I would consider dating him.

I don’t have a meeting with my spiritual director until July 8th, and I’m probably going to have to reschedule it because of a job offer that I might get and I have to attend some meetings. I don’t know what to do. I certainly don’t want to start dating without the advice of my spiritual director, and I feel like I should pray about it. I would hate to start dating and have it go farther and I ignore a call to religious life, but then I wonder if dating would make the call to religious life stronger?

Have any of you felt called to be married AND to be a religious? What did you do about it?

Dear LilFranciscan,

It does not strike me as so odd that you would feel drawn to both vocations. They are, after all, very similar in some respects. Both vocations are meant to lead us to the Father, to help others get to heaven, to be married to either man or Jesus. I read once, as I was discerning the religious life, that the vocations director at a particular order would have found it alarming if inquirers to the religious life expressed no desire in having a family, because having a family and being married are natural and good desires.

When I was in college I was dating a wonderful man who would later become my husband. I met with spiritual director one day and asked him a similar question that you are now posing to us: “I feel drawn to marriage, I love my boyfriend, but I’m also attracted to the religious life. Should I start inquiring with religious orders to see if that’s where God is calling me?”

He answered, “You can not date both this guy and Jesus at the same time. Keep dating this guy for a while longer.”

I responded, “But then how will I know whether I’m called to religious life?”

He replied, “You will find that dating will not be enough for you.”

It was relieving to hear and as I continued to discern marriage I realized that this really was what my vocation is. Today I couldn’t be happier, because this is clearly what God had planned for me.

I would urge you to continue pursuing religious life, since this is what you have felt drawn to longer, and your desire to start dating is a relatively recent phenomena. Without claiming to be a spiritual advisor in any sense of the word, I would suggest that maybe my advisor’s words of wisdom would apply: If you are really being called to marriage, then pursuing the religious vocation won’t deter or delay you. You will simply find that the religious life won’t be enough for you.

Shin:

Everyone is called to be perfect. Marriage is generally for people who have a problem with concupiscence, or who, because they knew no better, have already entered into it. It is the less to be preferred good, because it is harder to serve God in, one is kept busy by many cares of the world. Like Mary and Martha’s works, both are good, but one is better.

There once was a great professor and priest named Frederick Ozanam, who taught at the prestigious Sorbonne in Paris. He had a young apprentice named Lacordaire who was so eloquent and gifted and holy that Ozanam hoped he would become a priest. But instead Lacordaire met and fell in love with a young woman and they got married. Ozanam was in Rome and complained to the pope that this young man had “fallen into the trap.” Pope Pius IX replied, “I thought Jesus established seven sacraments, not six sacraments and a trap.”

Marriage is a sacrament, not a vocation of last resort for people who can’t deal with concupiscence.

 

[LilFranciscan25]

Dear LilFranciscan,

It does not strike me as so odd that you would feel drawn to both vocations. They are, after all, very similar in some respects. Both vocations are meant to lead us to the Father, to help others get to heaven, to be married to either man or Jesus. I read once, as I was discerning the religious life, that the vocations director at a particular order would have found it alarming if inquirers to the religious life expressed no desire in having a family, because having a family and being married are natural and good desires.

When I was in college I was dating a wonderful man who would later become my husband. I met with spiritual director one day and asked him a similar question that you are now posing to us: “I feel drawn to marriage, I love my boyfriend, but I’m also attracted to the religious life. Should I start inquiring with religious orders to see if that’s where God is calling me?”

He answered, “You can not date both this guy and Jesus at the same time. Keep dating this guy for a while longer.”

I responded, “But then how will I know whether I’m called to religious life?”

He replied, “You will find that dating will not be enough for you.”

It was relieving to hear and as I continued to discern marriage I realized that this really was what my vocation is. Today I couldn’t be happier, because this is clearly what God had planned for me.

I would urge you to continue pursuing religious life, since this is what you have felt drawn to longer, and your desire to start dating is a relatively recent phenomena. Without claiming to be a spiritual advisor in any sense of the word, I would suggest that maybe my advisor’s words of wisdom would apply: If you are really being called to marriage, then pursuing the religious vocation won’t deter or delay you. You will simply find that the religious life won’t be enough for you.

Thank you so much for that enlightening advice. I don’t know what I am so worried about. I’ve started understanding that if God is calling me to marriage and I pursue religious life first, He’ll let me know that I’m in the wrong vocation. I think I would feel much worse about my discernment if I didn’t at least try out the life before other options.

There once was a great professor and priest named Frederick Ozanam, who taught at the prestigious Sorbonne in Paris. He had a young apprentice named Lacordaire who was so eloquent and gifted and holy that Ozanam hoped he would become a priest. But instead Lacordaire met and fell in love with a young woman and they got married. Ozanam was in Rome and complained to the pope that this young man had “fallen into the trap.” Pope Pius IX replied, “I thought Jesus established seven sacraments, not six sacraments and a trap.”

Marriage is a sacrament, not a vocation of last resort for people who can’t deal with concupiscence.

Brilliant! Pope Pius IX is absolutely right.

 

[barb_finnegan]

Nodito-I think you might have your facts wrong about Frederic Ozanam and Lacordaire.

Frederic Ozanam was never a priest. He was a layman. He married, and Lacordaire went into religious life with the Dominicans.

I think Ozanam was a lawyer by profession, and he may have lost his wife at an early age. I know he founded the Society of St. Vincent de Paul in Paris. He may have become a Third Order Franciscan, too. I know that he was beatified by John Paul II in 1997, during World Youth Day in Paris.

Father Lacordaire preached at the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, and his sermons resulted in many conversions.

But that is a very funny-and brilliant-quote from Blessed Pio Nono [that’s Pius IX for you non-Italians]…‘six sacraments and a trap’!

 

[nodito]

Nodito-I think you might have your facts wrong about Frederic Ozanam and Lacordaire.

Frederic Ozanam was never a priest. He was a layman. He married, and Lacordaire went into religious life with the Dominicans.

I think Ozanam was a lawyer by profession, and he may have lost his wife at an early age. I know he founded the Society of St. Vincent de Paul in Paris. He may have become a Third Order Franciscan, too. I know that he was beatified by John Paul II in 1997, during World Youth Day in Paris.

Father Lacordaire preached at the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, and his sermons resulted in many conversions.

But that is a very funny-and brilliant-quote from Blessed Pio Nono [that’s Pius IX for you non-Italians]…‘six sacraments and a trap’!

Ah, you’re quite right. Thanks for correcting me. For those who are interested, you can read John Paul I’s retelling of the story in the last paragraph here: vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_i/audiences/documents/hf_jp-i_aud_13091978_en.html

 

[HickmanJosh]

This thread has some incredibly good advice on it. i have been deserting as well, this has been a big help, THANK YOU ALL.

HickmanJosh

 

[barb_finnegan]

Ah, you’re quite right. Thanks for correcting me. For those who are interested, you can read John Paul I’s retelling of the story in the last paragraph here: vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_i/audiences/documents/hf_jp-i_aud_13091978_en.html

You’re welcome, Nodito, glad to help out.

I scrolled down to the last paragraph as you said…it’s still funny!

Would have loved to have heard it in Italian!

 

[Lilllabettt]

I’m sorry, Shin. I don’t quite agree with your statement that religious life is more perfect than marriage. That is incorrect, IMHO. Marriage in the Church is a Sacrament–a sacred union between husband and wife. Of course, one must be called to the life of marriage, but I don’t think that one is better than the other.

I’m afraid you’re wrong LilFranciscan.

The objective superiority of consecrated life to matrimony is a dogmatic teaching of the Church. All Catholics are required to believe it.

I don’t want to comment just right now on the topic of this thread, which is very interesting … but I feel I need to point out that this is an error.

From the Institute on Religious Life’s FAQ page:

Q. Is consecrated life a higher calling than marriage?
A. The Church teaches as dogma the objective superiority of consecrated virginity (or celibacy) over marriage. This dogma has its scriptural basis in Our Lord’s words, “And every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life” (Mt. 19:29).

Q. Does this mean that I will automatically become a holier person in consecrated life?
A. No. The dogma mentioned above does not mean that those who are called to celibacy are in fact “superior” or holier than other people. Rather, one’s holiness is ultimately measured by one’s charity, not one’s state in life. (Pope John Paul II, Theology of the Body, 276–77.

Q. What has the Holy Father written about perfect chastity?
A. In his apostolic letter on consecrated life, Vita Consecrata, Pope John Paul II refers to the “objective superiority” of the consecrated life, which “mirrors Christ’s own way of life” when it comes forth to showing forth the Church’s holiness.

 

[ForeverHis8827]

Growing up I just always thought of marriage. That is what I grew up around, I don’t even remember ever hearing the word “vocation.” It wasn’t until after a conversion experience that I heard about the religious vocation. Now that I believe that I am called to become a nun, the thought of marriage and children are still here within me, but it is the thought of Jesus as my spouse and souls as my children. I know that the way it burns deep in my heart to give myself to Jesus and how much I long to love Him, I know that there is no other for me than Him.

Marriage between a man and woman is holy. To raise children to know and love God is so beautiful! Whether it be spiritual children, or your biological children. Others are called to a deeper intimacy with Jesus. Whichever vocation we are called to, we are all called to be holy and to have that beautiful union with God. In any vocation, we should give ourselves completely to Him.

He will give you all the graces you need to all that He calls you to. If you ever ask yourself, “Can I do this?” say, “No I can’t, not without Jesus!” He will provide. Continue to trust in Him.

I will keep you in my prayers. Whether you decide to start dating, or to continue to pursue the religious vocation, or both, I pray that it will be according to His will and that you may grow closer to Him in everything you do!

 

[LilFranciscan25]

I honestly did not want this to be a debate about whether or not religious life was better than marriage. I still stick to what I said though. Both are vocations that only God calls us to, and both are equally beautiful and enlightening paths to sainthood.

I think I’ve figured out why I’m having trouble. I haven’t been to Confession in a few weeks, and when I get out of the habit of going, I have temptations to get away from my discernment for a variety of reasons, like stress and loneliness. But when I’m peaceful, nothing can make me turn away from my vocation. This is just one of those times where I started feeling drawn to something that I was not called to. In my heart of hearts, I know I am called to be spiritually married to Jesus in religious life.

 

[Lilllabettt]

I honestly did not want this to be a debate about whether or not religious life was better than marriage. I still stick to what I said though. Both are vocations that only God calls us to, and both are equally beautiful and enlightening paths to sainthood.

There is no room for debate about whether or not consecrated life is superior to marriage. It’s a dogmatic teaching of the Catholic Church.

I don’t understand why you say: “I will stick to what I said though.” You said that you don’t agree with the statement that “religious life is more perfect than marriage.” You said that, in your opinion, that statement is incorrect.

Well, if you’re striving to be a faithful Catholic, then you need to correct your opinion.and not “stick” to it. Consecrated life is the more perfect path. It’s dogma. The Immaculate Conception is also a dogma. Faithful Catholics are required to believe ALL dogmatic teachings.

Marriage is a Sacrament and the path through which God brings the vast majority of people to Himself. It is a holy and beautiful thing, and people who are called to it and not consecrated life are not somehow “less than.” On an individual level, the “best” state in life for each person is the path to which God is calling them.

But this does not change the truth of the Church’s dogmatic teaching about the objective superiority of consecrated life. Nowadays it is an unfashionable teaching. We are more comfortable saying “everything is equal.” But this does not change the truth…

 

[LilFranciscan25]

There is no room for debate about whether or not consecrated life is superior to marriage. It’s a dogmatic teaching of the Catholic Church.

I don’t understand why you say: “I will stick to what I said though.” You said that you don’t agree with the statement that “religious life is more perfect than marriage.” You said that, in your opinion, that statement is incorrect.

Well, if you’re striving to be a faithful Catholic, then you need to correct your opinion.and not “stick” to it. Consecrated life is the more perfect path. It’s dogma. The Immaculate Conception is also a dogma. Faithful Catholics are required to believe ALL dogmatic teachings.

Marriage is a Sacrament and the path through which God brings the vast majority of people to Himself. It is a holy and beautiful thing, and people who are called to it and not consecrated life are not somehow “less than.” On an individual level, the “best” state in life for each person is the path to which God is calling them.

But this does not change the truth of the Church’s dogmatic teaching about the objective superiority of consecrated life. Nowadays it is an unfashionable teaching. We are more comfortable saying “everything is equal.” But this does not change the truth…

I did some research, and found out that yes, the Catholic Church teaches this dogma. I did not know this. The way it was presented to me looked more like opinion than fact, so I apologize if it looked like I disagreed. No one has ever presented this to me before. I’m doing more reading on it now. I still don’t know all the teachings of the Church and I am constantly learning about this. Thank you for bringing to light that it was a dogmatic teaching. For anyone who is interested, read this:

religious-vocation.com/

Pax et Bonum

 

[Shin]

I did some research, and found out that yes, the Catholic Church teaches this dogma. I did not know this. The way it was presented to me looked more like opinion than fact, so I apologize if it looked like I disagreed. No one has ever presented this to me before. I’m doing more reading on it now. I still don’t know all the teachings of the Church and I am constantly learning about this. Thank you for bringing to light that it was a dogmatic teaching. For anyone who is interested, read this:

religious-vocation.com/

Pax et Bonum

Ah that’s the spirit!

‘To deserve the name of a true religious, it is not only necessary to renounce the world, but still more to renounce one’s self.’

St. Ignatius of Loyola

 

[LilFranciscan25]

Ah that’s the spirit!

‘To deserve the name of a true religious, it is not only necessary to renounce the world, but still more to renounce one’s self.’

St. Ignatius of Loyola

Amen.

 

[JReducation]

I believe that there is a problem here with nuance. When the Church speaks about religious life as objectively superior, she’s actually speaking about the fact that religious life allows a man or woman the freedom to live for God alone, taking away all the other distractions that can often be found in other ways of life. In this sense, it is dogmatic, because it has its roots in scripture and scripture is infallible.

That being said, the sacrament of marriage is no less of a dogma. The seven sacraments are part of the Church’s dogma. Marriage is a different dogma. Marriage is the sign of the relationship between Christ and the Church. This relationship is part of the deposit of truth. The difference is in the challenges that marriage life poses, which are not present in religious life. Therefore, the absence of these challenges make religious life more objectively superior, because it removes the challenges often associated with the secular life.

Observe the word objectively. Objective means that we are looking at two ways of life and saying that one has less hindrances to the perfection of charity than the other. This does not mean that those who are married are less likely to achieve the perfection of charity. It simply means that they have a greater challenge. In this regard, marriage can objectively be a heavier cross.

In addition, one must also understand there are degrees of religious vows. There are solemn vows and simple vows. Solemn vows are made only by religious men in religious orders and monastic women, not men and women in religious congregations. Congregations make simple vows. Those who marry also make solemn vows.

Just as we cannot undo the vows of a marriage, we cannot undo the solemn vows of a religious in an order. This is the group of whom St. Bernard is speaking. During his time, there were no congregations. There were only religious orders. The last religious order founded was the Order of the Visitation. Today’s religious orders are those who follow one of the following rules of life: Benedictine, Carmelite, Franciscan, Augustinian, and Basilian. Religious congregations came into existence about 500 years after St. Bernard’s death.

There are religious congregations who make simple vows and whose statutes (sometimes called rule) borrow from one of these rules; but they do not vow to live by any of these rules. They vow to live by the spirit of the congregation. Therefore, they are not in solemn vows and their way of life does not overrule marriage.

An example found in canon law has to do with marriage. No religious in solemn vows can attempt a valid Catholic marriage The vows of religious life and the vows of marriage are both solemn and they cannot overrule each other. Therefore, the marriage is invalid and the vows continue to be effective. On the other hand, a married person cannot make solemn vows as a religious without giving up the married state.

A religious in simple vows who attempts a Catholic marriage is validly married, but illicitly. The marriage vows overrule the religious vows and the religious is automatically expelled from his/her religious institute.

The final answer is that marriage is not inferior to religious life, but objectively speaking it is a more difficult path to sanctity, thus making religious life a superior path, because of the absence of such concerns as spouse and children.

I hope this helps.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF
Brothers of the Order of St. Francis

 

[Tybourne]

Hi, All the dogmas of the Church have their basis in Holy Scripture. I didn’t know that the Pope had taught authoritatively on the superiority of religious life in Vita Consecreta, so thanks for that. When I was discerning this issue, I followed the teaching of St Paul:

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. (1 Cor 13:8-9)

The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. (1 Cor 7: 32-34, both RSV)

This is why there are far fewer canonized layman and women than religious and priests. The life itself means that one is divided between following God’s will directly and meeting the needs and wishes of one’s family. The lay, married state is a beautiful and rich vocation in itself- the one to which God called me in the end. But, I’m glad that I tried the religious life first otherwise I would always have had nagging regret. Try it wholeheartedly, and if God doesn’t want it to be, he will lead you out of the convent, but in opening your heart to Him in this way, he will not be outdone in generosity.

God Bless. St Clare pray for you. :knight2: