Struggle with masturbation/porn addiction

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CaptLink25

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I don’t know where to post this but if it’s in the wrong forum then just move it to the correct forum and not delete it because I need help and it’s important.

I am 25 with autism (aspberger syndrome) and I live with a mother, a brother and a sister in an apartment. I used to live with an abusive father for 18 years of my life before moving out to a homeless (domestic violence) shelter and then moved to an apartment with my family.

I have been going through this addiction since I was in high school in the 9th grade (freshmen) and now I’m doing my best to quit. I’ve tried going through internet options to hopefully block websites and cookies, I tried hiding materials in the closet to help me avoid temptation, I have been tending Mass weekly and I have been developing a habit of going to confession weekly too. I keep my rosary in my bed with me. I don’t know the whole rosary, but I can say a part of it though, I would use a website to read the words off of it to pray the whole rosary since my memory is not that big.

I tried resisting the computer and the internet to hopefully lessen the temptation, I would go to the living room to watch TV and put on shows or games that I believe are safe like Blue’s Clues, How It’s Made, Legend of Zelda, Mario Bros, Super Smash Bros, Prince of Egypt and Joseph King of Dreams (one of my favorite stories from the bible because I like to dream too), I also do housekeeping around the apartment to help me take my mind off impure thoughts too, I even do art projects too. I don’t have a job and I’m nervous about getting one. Can I have some help with this? I feel troubled and I feel like a loser and I can’t do anything right. I want so much to be a friend to God, to the saints, to Mary and to others (even my grandfather that’s with God) and I want so much to be in His arms and to be hugged by Him tightly and not let go 😦 .

What really made me want to quit is I did some research on masturbation and found out that it can be risk prostate cancer and I know God doesn’t want me to go through that even of the risk is a 1%. I’m sure that God still wants me because He loves me and doesn’t want me to go through cancer at all. I’ve lost my grandfather earlier this year from cancer and I have an aunt now that has cancer and I’ve volunteered to donate my blood to her (I hope I did the right thing by doing that for her because I love her so much just like I loved my grandfather). 😦
 
If you go to the “Groups” tab on the top of the page, you should be able to find the “Impurity Addiction Support Group”. There are a lot of friends and resources you can connect with by joining that group. I am an addict myself, I’ll be praying for you.

God Bless!
 
Just want to say that first off know that your are Loved by God and he understands your struggles. These passions are not evil but are a beautiful part of our body and a reminder that we were made for others. God loves you the way you are even with your struggles but because he loves you he wants you to be a better you. Pray for the grace needed to be a better you but don’t beat yourself up over it because we are human after all. If you mess up just dust your self up and keep on going. God bless you
 
What the other posters have said is spot on. I would add, don’t despair, and keep trying; no matter how many times you fail, so long as you get up and try again God will help you! I’ve been dealing with the same problem for a bit longer, and I’m only now beginning to get a hold on it. Pray every day, attend confession as often as you can, keep up with the rosary, and do your best!

Also, for the rosary, I’ve printed off the little booklets on this site. I’ve found them to be quite useful. They have all the prayers and excepts form the readings, and booklets are small enough to fit in your wallet.

How to pray the Rosary everyday
 
CCC 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
 
CaptLink25 said:
I don’t know where to post this but if it’s in the wrong forum then just move it to the correct forum and not delete it because I need help and it’s important.

I am 25 with autism (aspberger syndrome) and I live with a mother, a brother and a sister in an apartment. I used to live with an abusive father for 18 years of my life before moving out to a homeless (domestic violence) shelter and then moved to an apartment with my family.

I have been going through this addiction since I was in high school in the 9th grade (freshmen) and now I’m doing my best to quit. I’ve tried going through internet options to hopefully block websites and cookies, I tried hiding materials in the closet to help me avoid temptation, I have been tending Mass weekly and I have been developing a habit of going to confession weekly too. I keep my rosary in my bed with me. I don’t know the whole rosary, but I can say a part of it though, I would use a website to read the words off of it to pray the whole rosary since my memory is not that big.

I tried resisting the computer and the internet to hopefully lessen the temptation, I would go to the living room to watch TV and put on shows or games that I believe are safe like Blue’s Clues, How It’s Made, Legend of Zelda, Mario Bros, Super Smash Bros, Prince of Egypt and Joseph King of Dreams (one of my favorite stories from the bible because I like to dream too), I also do housekeeping around the apartment to help me take my mind off impure thoughts too, I even do art projects too. I don’t have a job and I’m nervous about getting one. Can I have some help with this? I feel troubled and I feel like a loser and I can’t do anything right. I want so much to be a friend to God, to the saints, to Mary and to others (even my grandfather that’s with God) and I want so much to be in His arms and to be hugged by Him tightly and not let go 😦 .

What really made me want to quit is I did some research on masturbation and found out that it can be risk prostate cancer and I know God doesn’t want me to go through that even of the risk is a 1%. I’m sure that God still wants me because He loves me and doesn’t want me to go through cancer at all. I’ve lost my grandfather earlier this year from cancer and I have an aunt now that has cancer and I’ve volunteered to donate my blood to her (I hope I did the right thing by doing that for her because I love her so much just like I loved my grandfather). 😦
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My heart goes out to You my brother. I was there once too. I know how very painful it is trying to seperate yourself from it. I would only seek to encourage as the OP’s have done. Keep fighting!! You are trying and You will get there!! Dont give up!! keep kicking and fighting, trust me when I say this, I am saying this from expierence, the LORD WILL heal you. Our LORD loves you very much and HE will heal You as long as this is what You desire for HIM to do!!
 
Capt,
I am reading a book called The Spiritual Combat. In it, the reader is told to isolate his vices and attack them and tear them down, while increasing the opposite virtues. All of our vices, except for one: impurity. The author essentially tells us to avoid temptation and, when we are tempted, ***not ***think about why we shouldn’t do it. If we succeed in ignoring the temptation, the thinking about why it is so evil brings it right back! I highly reccommend the book. It is pretty tough reading, but it is well worth it.

God, please bless Capt and increase in him the virtue of purity while protecting him from the sin of lust.

St. Michael the Archangel, pray for Capt!
Mary, Queen of Victory, pray for Capt!
 
I cannot offer a great deal of advice except that which helped me.

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of the one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross.

As a corollary to the idea of our sin putting Him there, consider how his cross is the accumulation of our sins. Each time we sin, the cross gets heavier…Each time we resist sin, the cross gets lighter.

Peace
James
 
Thanks for the posts. I know we all go through this kind struggle and I understand that the road is long for us and we tend to get off at the wrong exit (figuratively speaking). I know we’re only human and we all sometimes slip just like I did.

I understand that good deeds or works won’t necessarily buy a ticket to Heaven, but I was wondering if making amends and doing acts of charity, such as donating food to homeless, donating my clothes to stores like Good Will or the thrift store to help people survive the cold weather, participating in the boy scouts, helping the priest in the church, would help heal and clean my soul a bit if not a lot? I don’t understand the full concept of charity though, can someone tell me what it’s about and what it does to someone that does acts of charity?

I used to participate in the boy scouts and I helped by keeping the earth, that God created, clean by removing trash and putting in trash cans and recycle bins. Me and the scouts have helped collect food so they can be donated to even the homeless so that they can have something to eat. I even helped the city workers help plant trees at community parks with the scouts. I also helped a fellow scout with his eagle project so he can become an eagle scout. This wasn’t in boy scouts but me and my mom helped the priest deliver the wine and the hosts to him during my grandpa’s funeral twice (there was two Masses that my grandfather asked for), I thought it to be a big help to God, to grandpa and to other people.
 
CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations [The Imitation of Christ]

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured manly trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.
 
JRKH said:
I cannot offer a great deal of advice except that which helped me.

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of the one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross.

As a corollary to the idea of our sin putting Him there, consider how his cross is the accumulation of our sins. Each time we sin, the cross gets heavier…Each time we resist sin, the cross gets lighter.

Peace
James
Click to expand...
I always love Your Visualization Prayer…
 
CaptLink25 said:
I don’t know where to post this but if it’s in the wrong forum then just move it to the correct forum and not delete it because I need help and it’s important.

I am 25 with autism (aspberger syndrome) and I live with a mother, a brother and a sister in an apartment. I used to live with an abusive father for 18 years of my life before moving out to a homeless (domestic violence) shelter and then moved to an apartment with my family.

I have been going through this addiction since I was in high school in the 9th grade (freshmen) and now I’m doing my best to quit. I’ve tried going through internet options to hopefully block websites and cookies, I tried hiding materials in the closet to help me avoid temptation, I have been tending Mass weekly and I have been developing a habit of going to confession weekly too. I keep my rosary in my bed with me. I don’t know the whole rosary, but I can say a part of it though, I would use a website to read the words off of it to pray the whole rosary since my memory is not that big.

I tried resisting the computer and the internet to hopefully lessen the temptation, I would go to the living room to watch TV and put on shows or games that I believe are safe like Blue’s Clues, How It’s Made, Legend of Zelda, Mario Bros, Super Smash Bros, Prince of Egypt and Joseph King of Dreams (one of my favorite stories from the bible because I like to dream too), I also do housekeeping around the apartment to help me take my mind off impure thoughts too, I even do art projects too. I don’t have a job and I’m nervous about getting one. Can I have some help with this? I feel troubled and I feel like a loser and I can’t do anything right. I want so much to be a friend to God, to the saints, to Mary and to others (even my grandfather that’s with God) and I want so much to be in His arms and to be hugged by Him tightly and not let go 😦 .

What really made me want to quit is I did some research on masturbation and found out that it can be risk prostate cancer and I know God doesn’t want me to go through that even of the risk is a 1%. I’m sure that God still wants me because He loves me and doesn’t want me to go through cancer at all. I’ve lost my grandfather earlier this year from cancer and I have an aunt now that has cancer and I’ve volunteered to donate my blood to her (I hope I did the right thing by doing that for her because I love her so much just like I loved my grandfather). 😦
Click to expand...
This may help you with the rosary.

Pray the rosary in 17 minutes with online audio.
catholicity.com/cds/rosary.html
 
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