The way it was phrased to me was different than that. It was more like, for example, I wanted to have a say in the music. Not control it by any means, just have a say in it. And we had the first DJ that we interviewed tell me that I don’t get to have that say, because dictating every aspect of the wedding day is “her prize,” my “prize” was the fact that she chose to marry me.
Needless to say, we didn’t go with that DJ. But when I shared that story with others, they repeated similar lines.
I don’t dispute that my wife is a “prize” (not an object), but it was… OK, what are you calling me exactly? I don’t even think it was my pride that was offended but a universal sense of justice. When someone says to another, “you belong to gender X, therefore, your desires are irrelevant,” I am offended, regardless of the gender in question.
Hopefully it goes without saying that a Catholic couple can get married with the bare minimum present (Priest or Deacon, two witnesses) and there’s nothing invalid or wrong about that. Hopefully it also goes without saying that hospitality is a good thing, and a Catholic couple is obligated to take any reasonable steps they can take to be hospitable. So, “we’re struggling to pay our bills” is a sensible reason to go light on the reception, but “we want to keep more of our gift money just because” definitely isn’t.
