Struggle with Scrupulosity and Forgiveness

[faithful.follower]

For the past couple of days I have been driving myself crazy. I went to confession on Saturday and admitted to homosexual acts I committed years ago. I felt relieved and happy to finally be in a state of grace.
And then it all was washed away.
I began questioning this rising fear or doubt in my stomach as if I wasn’t really forgiven by God and I needed to go back. I began saying “Am I really forgiven even though I said this?” or, “Maybe I’m not forgiven yet because I should of explained this more, I explained it poorly.”
I keep thinking, “God has forgiven you, stop worrying” but it’s all I can think about and I have fallen into this dark hole of doubt, fear, and anxiety. I feel terrible about the acts I committed and also mentioned that in confession. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I truly believe in God’s forgiveness… so why is it so hard for me to accept and why do I keep questioning what I said in confession?
I specifically stated what I did in kind and number. Many people have told me I’m forgiven and I keep thinking and telling myself I am but then a couple hours or minutes later I fall back into the hole again.
Any advice would be very helpful.

 

[1ke]

so why is it so hard for me to accept and why do I keep questioning what I said in confession?

Scrupulosity is a mental health issue as well as a spiritual issue. You need help from a professional. Make an appointment with your priest to talk about regular spiritual direction for scrupulosity.

Scrupulosity is sometimes a manifestation of OCD or anxiety disorders. You should make an appointment with a mental health professional for an evaluation

 

[jtavington]

If you didn’t deliberately hold anything back and the priest pronounced the words of absolution, you are forgiven. I’d suggest praying to St. Alphonsus Liguori for help believing it. Talk to your priest as well. Consider getting psychological help if the thoughts persist. Scrupulosity can be a sign of OCD.

 

[KJW5551]

These are Jesus’ direct words (speaking to his disciples): “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23).

Did your priest give you absolution for your sins? Then take comfort, because according to Jesus you are forgiven. And what else do we have to go on besides what Jesus taught?

 

[porthos11]

For the past couple of days I have been driving myself crazy. I went to confession on Saturday and admitted to homosexual acts I committed years ago. I felt relieved and happy to finally be in a state of grace.
And then it all was washed away.
I began questioning this rising fear or doubt in my stomach as if I wasn’t really forgiven by God and I needed to go back. I began saying “Am I really forgiven even though I said this?” or, “Maybe I’m not forgiven yet because I should of explained this more, I explained it poorly.”
I keep thinking, “God has forgiven you, stop worrying” but it’s all I can think about and I have fallen into this dark hole of doubt, fear, and anxiety. I feel terrible about the acts I committed and also mentioned that in confession. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I truly believe in God’s forgiveness… so why is it so hard for me to accept and why do I keep questioning what I said in confession?
I specifically stated what I did in kind and number. Many people have told me I’m forgiven and I keep thinking and telling myself I am but then a couple hours or minutes later I fall back into the hole again.
Any advice would be very helpful.

There is a sound piece of advice that should really be a rule especially for the scrupulous. And I’d say even for those of normal conscience.

Never review your confession.

 

[Magnificant]

God has forgiven you. God is a very loving God that cares for His people. You have cleansed yourself, don’t worry. Just forget about those, confessing your sin makes God forget about those sins. So you should too.

 

[TheOldColonel]

I will pray for you to not only be at peace but joyful that God is so merciful and loving towards all of us poor sinners. Easter is a time for fresh starts. May it be a beautiful season especially for you.