Struggling immensely- please pray for me

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Augustine8

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Hello everyone,

I am struggling so greatly right now and I don’t know how to get out of this. I feel so alone and like there is no one here to help. I have no deep relationships with any males in my life. I am 16 and I probably have ruined my social skills using a phone so much. I had a 4 month streak of being free from porn and I recently relapsed. Confession doesn’t bring me relief, however, because I have scrupulosity, and have had it for as long as I’ve practiced my faith. My brother is going off to college, I feel like I’m not close with my parents at all. They love me and I love them, but we don’t talk about anything meaningful. I am struggling to believe my faith. There is no one to talk about this to either. I’m not happy, I can’t keep doing this everyday. How can I find someone to talk to? I’m too socially awkward to reach out and talk to someone in person. Will I always feel this way? Am I wasting my life?
 
I mean, maybe you could find a name from say a parish secretary or the diocese for a good name.
 
Hello,

First of all, do not despair, unless we are condemned in Hell there is hope. Remember that Jesus loves us, and wants to see us go to Heaven.

I would suggest you start by going to confession, and try to find a priest through your local parish, who might help you or point you toward someone who can.

As Jesus told Saint Faustina

I want to teach you about spiritual warfare. Never trust in yourself, but abandon yourself totally to My will. In desolation, darkness, and various doubts, have recourse to Me and to your spiritual director. He will always answer you in My name. Do not bargain with any temptation; lock yourself immediately in My Heart and, at the first opportunity, reveal the temptation to the confessor ( Diary, 1760).

The key to overcoming scrupulosity is to remember this: Man cannot save himself. Only God can do it. And he has accomplished it through the Passion and raising from the reigns of death, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

In the words of that good Doctor of the Church, Francis de Sales:
Have patience with all things but first with yourself.
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You are not wasting your life, we all have a purpose and God created each of us to fulfill a mission here on Earth, that no one else will do. However we can ruin our spiritual life when we fall into mortal sin and keep in that state.
 
I was very scrupulous for many years, beginning in my teens and continuing into my 40s. Here’s what helped me:
  1. PRAYER. It sounds trite, but it’s not. Our Lord Himself said: “Without Me, you can do nothing.” (Gospel of St. John) And He meant it.
The other side of the coin is from the Epistle of St. Paul to the Philippians: “I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4: 13)

They’re two sides of the same coin.
  1. SACRAMENTS. You posted:
Augustine8 said:
Confession doesn’t bring me relief, however, because I have scrupulosity, and have had it for as long as I’ve practiced my faith.
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I can tell you from personal experience that you will fail if you think you can overcome scrupulosity without the sacraments. I know, because I tried it that way and failed too.

I felt the same way as you did until I learned that contrition for your sins is an act of the will, not your feelings. You can cry in confession and not be truly repentant; you can be as dry as a log, not shedding a tear, and yet have true contrition.

In Scripture, the Greek word for repentance is metanoia, which comes from the Greek “meta” (to change) and nous (mind).

There are 5 steps to a good confession:

a) Examine your conscience. Talk to the priest before going to confession. Tell him that you are scrupulous and need help on how to examine your conscience. Then ask the Holy Spirit to help you know your sins, have true contrition for them, and make a firm resolution of amendment (see below).

b) Contrition. We should repent of our sins because we have offended God, Who is worthy of all our love.

c) Firm purpose of amendment. We “…must be resolved to avoid all kinds of sin, that is, not only one or the other sin, but every sin, so as to offend God no more in the future.” (My Divine Friend, p. 704)

This doesn’t mean that you won’t sin again but that with the help of God’s grace you will avoid these sins in the future.

d) Confession. Tell the priest your sins.

e) Satisfaction (penance). Example: “For your penance, read the daily Scripture readings for one week.”
  1. STUDY. Get a good Catholic Bible (I suggest RSVCE or Douay-Rheims). Read and meditate on how God created man in His Image (that means you, me and the rest of mankind).
I don’t know if they still do, but Liguori Publications used to publish books & booklets on how to overcome scrupulosity. One booklet which really helped me was called “Valuing Yourself”.

To paraphrase Churchill, overcoming scrupulosity (and all sin) takes prayer, blood, sweat and tears. Everything I posted, I went through myself.
 
Cont’d
  1. SPIRITUAL READING/MEDITATION.
    St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori who feast is Aug. 1st (today) suffered from scrupulosity as well. He wrote The Glories of Mary, Visits to the Blessed Sacrament and Our Lady. St. Francis de Sales wrote An Introduction to the Devout Life.
Spiritual reading helped me preserve my faith in my teens & college years. TAN Books 1-800-437-5876 has lots of good Catholic literature.

Finally, what is your first name so we can pray for you?
 
Op, God knows who we mean when we pray for you as Augustine8.
 
@Augustine8, remember, each one of us has struggles in life. You’re not alone. And I’m so glad to see many of our brothers and sisters here are doing their best to help you get out of your current situation. So, don’t despair and lose hope. Always pray and never give up. Faith in GOD changes everything. Know that everything is possible in him who believes. Rest assured, I’ll include you in my prayer. GOD bless you always!
 
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Wow thank you all for your gracious replies you are all so wonderful. I can’t express my gratitude for enough for you all praying for me.
 
Thank you for sharing that. Hopefully one day the Lord will free me from scrupulosity like he did you. I’ll definitely try to remain connected with the Lord through prayer even in my really dark moments.
 
I pray that God cures your loneliness and that He brings good people into your life. Amen.
 
He will. Just keep up the faith. Trust in the Lord no matter what. Please read Proverbs 3:5~6
 
Feeling as an outsider is a very normal part of teenage development.

Are you part of your Parish Youth Group or the larger Diocese Youth Ministry? Finding both peers and the Youth Ministers is important.
 
dear brother,
you are only 16, and as TheLittleLady says, feeling outside is normal for teens. I was depressed as a teen until I left home for college. praying that you will get through this dark time safely. Saying a rosary daily will help you.
you will find good friends as you get older – something to look forward to.
God bless.
 
I will send you a private message (pm) either today or sometime this weekend.
 
I am only 24 and my teenage years were the hardest years of my life. I don’t mean to invalidate the pain you are going through presently, because it is very real and debilitating, I know, but it will get better. You will not feel like this forever.

It sounds so cliche but a productive outlet can help. Perhaps something creative, like writing or drawing, reading or studying subjects you find interesting. Research topics that intrigue you. Go for a bike ride. Give yourself something to look forward to, perhaps look into what you want to do after high school. Maybe if you want to go to college, find a field of study that may interest you, or a career you want to pursue, and look into that.

God also created psychologists and therapists for a reason. You may need professional help and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I was admitted to psychiatric hospitals as a teen. Some helped, some didn’t. But I definitely needed it. It’s something to consider.

There is so much life ahead of you. I will add you to my daily prayers. But God is ultimately the one who has so much in store for you.
 
I am sorry to hear you are struggling. I am also 16 and dealing with a porn addiction and Confession is not an option for me because I can’t convert until am 18. I am glad to know I am not the only one who feels alone. I suggest talking to your priest. I talked to a priest I know about some issues I was having and it really helped. I also recommend a youtube channel called “Lizzie’s answers”. It helped me really understand the faith, and I also recommend Scott Hahn’s books. You will be in my prayers.
 
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