Struggling! Struggling! Struggling!

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Quaere_Verum

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I’m going through a real dry spell. I feel like my spiritual life is no more than a routine. I feel like I’m not being a very good wife or mother. Some times I just feel like sitting in a corner and withering away, but I don’t. I know it would be selfish and that God has a plan for me (but what?). I am driven by obligation/duty so I get up and start a new day.

Please pray for me. It was difficult to post these words because I don’t necessarilly know how people will view me after this. It’s nice for people to think you’re one of the spiritually strong, but some times you just have to break down and ask for help.

God Bless You,
Quaere Verum
Seek the Truth
 
You will receive many prayers from the wonderful people on these forums!
😃

Have you ever spent any time in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament? I strongly recommend it. The following link has a fairly accurate and recently updated listing of Adoration sites around the U.S. and Canada:
www.therealpresence.org

In Christ,
Michael
 
It is so good that you posted, as difficult as it may have been. These forums are fun & informative, but they are also a sort of mini-community, where we can pray for & support each other.

Hang in there! Do you think that you might need a little change in routine? Or a mini-retreat? (Even a couple hours, away by yourself in a different church might revive your spirit). We ALL go through seasons of drought & abundance in our prayer lives…it is often when we feel “driest” that God is cultivating us to receive new insights or appreciations.

I just heard Fr. Benedict Groeschel, of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, remind me of something. Blessed Theresa of Calcutta (Mother Theresa) is someone who could always be found in prayer. She’s on her way to being declared a saint…one would naturally assume that she had a spiritually fulfilling prayer life, no? Well, she didn’t. She experienced a spiritual dryness ***for thirty-five (35!) years! ***And yet she never, ever, ever gave up. She stayed close to Our Lord in the Eucharist. She prayed constantly. She did her duty, and her works of mercy.

The discipline of doing out of obligation or duty is a valid and honorable one to maintain. Keep it up. I will pray for you tonight, as I go about my household duties, as well. 🙂
 
I think pretty much all of us go through these dry spells once in awhile. Often they are a part of the road to spiritual maturity.

Our Lord wants us to be persistent even when the good feelings aren’t there. My spiritual advisor told me that when we go through these times and stay faithful, that God appreciates our prayers even more because they are being said out of love and obedience, even though we don’t feel anything.

I have also found that I hear a lot of negative “voices” in my head during these times, like “You’re pitiful; look at you just going through the motions; you talk to others of your faith and offering your sufferings, yet you’re reluctant to do so yourself, you hypocrite.” My spiritual director said these type of attacks never come from God; He will never speak to us in such a manner. So we are often under spiritual attack during these times as well. Pray the St. Michael prayer to defend you during these times:

St. Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle. Protect us from the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell satan and all evil spirits who prowl about the earth seeking the destruction of souls.

You are not alone! And your willingness to post this, even though you were unsure of other’s responses, is a big step toward humility as well! God bless you and all of us on our journies toward the Lord and His heavenly kingdom!
 
Thank you all for responding. The prayers will definately be helpful. Thanks msproule for the link.

I will remember to increase my adoration time and remember that my negative thoughts and feelings do not come from God as **DiDi ** said. Yes, it is helpful to recall that many of the great saints went through dry spells.

I guess, living in a microwave/fast food society, we want things to happen quickly; you know how it is - order it and pick it up at the next window. O.K. God, why aren’t you popping out those answers at super sonic speed? I’d love to go back to a simpler time when everything moved at a slower speed; since that’s not possible I pray that God help me to deal with life in this fast moving world. And as StephanieC so wisely has said, I will “never ever ever give up”.
 
Quaere Verum:
I’m going through a real dry spell. I feel like my spiritual life is no more than a routine. I feel like I’m not being a very good wife or mother. Some times I just feel like sitting in a corner and withering away, but I don’t. I know it would be selfish and that God has a plan for me (but what?). I am driven by obligation/duty so I get up and start a new day.

Please pray for me. It was difficult to post these words because I don’t necessarilly know how people will view me after this. It’s nice for people to think you’re one of the spiritually strong, but some times you just have to break down and ask for help.

God Bless You,
Quaere Verum
Seek the Truth
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Quaere,
After this post I think people will view you as a follower of Christ being called to holiness! This dry spell may very well be preparing you to a deeper level of holiness! I have been reading a lot lately on redemptive nature of suffering…and ALL of us need help…thats what the Body of Christ, the Communion of Saints is all about…we’re here…to encourage each other to run the race…to say “yes” to Christ even when we may be the most confused and discouraged. I will offer my rosary tomorrow for your intentions, Quaere, …never give up…the Lord is at your side.
 
byHisGrace Quaere,
After this post I think people will view you as a follower of Christ being called to holiness! This dry spell may very well be preparing you to a deeper level of holiness!
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Thank you for these heart felt words. I never thought that anybody would view me in a positive light because of my post. To think that God may be calling me to deeper holiness is so very humbling. I appreciate the rosary HisGrace; you are so kind God Bless You,
Quaere Verum
Seek the Truth
 
I will keep you in my prayres too, I agree that we all go through this at one time or another, sometimes often. I remember my Mother when I was growing up, she was a very faithful, devout Catholic, always in prayer, offering up her day to God. When she would “lose it” she would call her sister and cry.
My Aunt was even more awesome, as after she calmed my Mother down, she would go to Adoration and Mass and Holy Communion and pray for my Mother to go on.
Those two were great friends and great for one another’s spirituality and could always bring one another back around. We all needs friends and family like that, that is one of the things I like about this site, it does seem like a family brought together by prayer for one another.
I have read about St. Terese (the little flower) and other great Saints that have gone through the same thing, and as mentioned above about Blessed Mother Therese. Fight the good fight, keep moving forward and know that you are surrounded by prayer, Sometimes you can feel the prayers working in your life.
A very good Priest told me one time that when we go through that to look out, because coming out the other side is going to blow you away with how great God is. (It’s just His way of calling us to a closer walk with Him.)
 
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allhers:
I have read about St. Terese (the little flower) and other great Saints that have gone through the same thing, and as mentioned above about Blessed Mother Therese. Fight the good fight, keep moving forward and know that you are surrounded by prayer, Sometimes you can feel the prayers working in your life.

A very good Priest told me one time that when we go through that to look out, because coming out the other side is going to blow you away with how great God is. (It’s just His way of calling us to a closer walk with Him.)
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What a beautiful story of your mother and aunt allhers. I will keep fighting the good fight.

Everybody’s kind words are really uplifting. I’m feeling better already just knowing that God’s faithful ones are lifting me up in prayer.
 
Quaere Verum:
I’m going through a real dry spell. I feel like my spiritual life is no more than a routine. I feel like I’m not being a very good wife or mother. Some times I just feel like sitting in a corner and withering away, but I don’t. I know it would be selfish and that God has a plan for me (but what?). I am driven by obligation/duty so I get up and start a new day.

Please pray for me. It was difficult to post these words because I don’t necessarilly know how people will view me after this. It’s nice for people to think you’re one of the spiritually strong, but some times you just have to break down and ask for help.

God Bless You,
Quaere Verum
Seek the Truth
Click to expand...
a. could be hormones (never underestimate this possibility)

b. check your expectations

We set ourselves up for so much disappointment and rejection by expecting the wrong things - mostly without intending to.

You say you feel your spiritual life is no more than a routine.
What’s wrong with that? It’s a blessing, it truly is.
But, I suspect you expect your spiritual life to be aflame…at least to be able to ‘feel’ a flicker inside. So since you don’t “feel” something, you are disappointed.

You must know that God resides within you.
That he loves you.
That he is pleased with your ‘routine’ obedience, knowing that you don’t ‘feel’ a charge out of it…because that shows Him you do the things you do out of love and obedience, not out of how good it feels to you at the time.

As for not being a good wife and mother…
again, check your standards, your expectations…
if you ‘feel’ you’re falling short…what are you expecting from you?
Are you comparing yourself to your neighbor, friend, sister?
To someone on TV?
To your own mother?

Do you love your children?
Do you take care of their needs?
Do you take the time to become familiar with their unique personality traits?
Do you keep the house safe?
Do you make time to listen to your husband when he shares things with you?

If so, then you are no failure by any means.
You know this. So where is the doubt coming from?

Fix yourself a nice cup of tea, grab a pad and pencil, then ask yourself what you think you’re supposed to be feeling…
write down on the page -

IF my spiritual life was on track this is what I would expect to see/feel/do:
and so on…keep writing, don’t stop to analyze or reflect, that’ll come later…the important thing is to identify your thoughts and feelings.

When you’re done with the list, then go down and cross off those items which you find you are experiencing or which are unrealistic. You may find that your spiritual life is quite on track even though you don’t feel like it is.

Then circle those items which you would like to improve on…share those with us and I’m sure there are many people here who could direct you to good sources to read up on that area or share some prayers with you and so on.
 
I think it can be a sign of faith to persevere through such times! If you think about it, you will probably find that you have had a steady perserverance. Is this not a gift of the Holy Spirit?

You have the power!
 
Quaere Verum:
Thank you for these heart felt words. I never thought that anybody would view me in a positive light because of my post. To think that God may be calling me to deeper holiness is so very humbling. I appreciate the rosary HisGrace; you are so kind God Bless You,
Quaere Verum
Seek the Truth
Click to expand...
There is nothing wrong with you spiritually at all, IMO - far from it!!🙂
All the saints went through periods of darkness - Saint Therese said that in her last 18 months it seemed to her that there was a wall as high as heaven itself between her and God, and during that time she made more acts of faith than in the rest of her life put together.

You are clearly genuinely humble and receptive to His grace - just continue to trust and hope and “go through the motions” (but it is more than that, in reality, even if you can’t see it!) and He can and will lead you to a deeper relationship with Him.
Your “tree” is being pruned - it may be unpleasant but it is ultimately going to be beneficial.👍
 
Quaere Verum:

In one retreat, the priest said as Catholics we are called to BEGIN AGAIN and then BEGIN AGAIN everyday every hour. Even though it feels like routine, we are called to do it with more love with each repetition until the consolations have gone out so that it will become virtue not novelty or sentimentality. I see this mostly with mothers. No wonder the pope has such a high regard re Mulieris Dignitatem. He further added that virtue is formed when the natural human motivations are taken away. So, as with every one else here, let’s RISE AND BE ON THE WAY once more.

in XT.
 
Quaere Verum, I was just about to post a similar thread. But it has been said, the truth is that we need to go through these trials. For many reasons:

1 Peter 1:6
“So be truley glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necesary for you to endure many trials for a while.
These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by feiry trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

These trials keep us humbled before God. In times of spiritual uncertainty, we are before the God more often, more sincerley and it is from the desire of our heart, to draw closer to Him, know Him and grow in Him and His will. I hope these words are encouraging, know that your brethren throughout the world are going through the same thing! I will pray for you!

1 Peter 5:6
"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you.

Be careful! Watch out for attacks fromt he Devil, your great enemy. he prwols around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Take a firm stand against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.

In His kindness God called you to His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. After you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation. All power is His forever and ever. Amen."

2 Corinthians 1:3
“All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Father of every mercy and the god who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

These are some of the most encouraging words to me. I hope they help you…

As a result of your suffeirng, you will be better equipped with empathy and compassion for others and will be able to relate and help others in their sufferings, and encourage them in their faith walk. Praise God for He is mighty and works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace, peace and mercy.

Yours In Him
~Matt
 
Thank you everyone. You have been most helpful. I will pray for you all as you face our own special set of challenges.
 
Struggling! Struggling! Struggling! Good! Good! Good!

I have struggled for over ten years and am onlyjust coming out of a place of darkness and aridity. Yes, it is a hard place to be but you will be better equipped to be a Christian when you come out the other end. According to the Journal of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta she was in that place for 35 years or more. Never a day when she didn’t question her faith and what she was doing.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Teresa of Avila. In her great classic book The Interior Castle she is quite honest about her period of spiritual darkness which lasted almost from the day she went into the Convent (age 15), until past her 40th birthday. She devotes much discussion to the place of dark and aridity in prayer in her other great book, The Way of Perfection. As does her fellow Carmelite Saint and contemporary of Teresa, Saint John of the Cross. His ‘The Ascent to the Cross’ is almost wholly devoted to the difficulty of the journey due to the ‘darkness of the Soul’

Doubt and severe anxiety of Soul are not just for Saints, nor even just for the faithful. Our Lord Jesus ‘began to be distressed and agitated’ [Mk 14:33]. ‘In his anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat became like great drops of blood’ [Lk 22:44].

Prayer life is better treated as ‘routine’ sometimes. That is why I took up the Daily Office and make myself do it, especially on days when I am down and depressed. It is also why any serious religious community has a daily timetable - more ‘routine’. Our religious brothers and sisters set great store by such routine. One of the best things you can do for a depressive is to organise their day and week for them. Give them a timetable of chores and tasks to do and they will be grateful to you.

If you show me a fully engaged, fully praying Christian who claims not to know what you are going through Quaere Verum, then I will show you a shallow Christian. Give thanks for God for his great gift to you, for gift it most assuredly is even if you cannot see it as such. It will strengthen your faith and it will make of you a better person and a better Christian. Believe one who wears the T-Shirt! There will come a day when you will just shrug the darkness off, and what a day that will be for then your eyes will be wide-open to the greatness of God. May God be always with you.
 
This interior struggle is a very necessary part of our Spiritual development.

have you ever taught your children to ride a bicycle?
You hold then at first and then as time goes on you let go, they wobble and fall. They have a choice now: to give up or to try again. if they give up they will never learn to ride the bicycle. So you encourage them to begin again.

Again and Again you keep holding and letting go until they remain upright. Success!! They have learned a skill that will never leave them.

God as our Father treats us in a similar manner helping us develop an interior life of prayer and presence of God.

He hold us at first and then He lets go, we wobble; we get nervous and we really see how we simply cannot depend on ourselves then we fall into self pity and despair.

Eventually after wobbling and falling many times we will begin to notice strength and confidence even in moments of dryness and spiritual desolation.

We must always begin again. Perseverance is the key.

Perseverance in times of difficulty will pay massive spiritual dividends.
 
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