Quaere Verum:
I’m going through a real dry spell. I feel like my spiritual life is no more than a routine. I feel like I’m not being a very good wife or mother. Some times I just feel like sitting in a corner and withering away, but I don’t. I know it would be selfish and that God has a plan for me (but what?). I am driven by obligation/duty so I get up and start a new day.
Please pray for me. It was difficult to post these words because I don’t necessarilly know how people will view me after this. It’s nice for people to think you’re one of the spiritually strong, but some times you just have to break down and ask for help.
God Bless You,
Quaere Verum
Seek the Truth
a. could be hormones (never underestimate this possibility)
b. check your expectations
We set ourselves up for so much disappointment and rejection by expecting the wrong things - mostly without intending to.
You say you feel your spiritual life is no more than a routine.
What’s wrong with that? It’s a blessing, it truly is.
But, I suspect you expect your spiritual life to be aflame…at least to be able to ‘feel’ a flicker inside. So since you don’t “feel” something, you are disappointed.
You must know that God resides within you.
That he loves you.
That he is pleased with your ‘routine’ obedience, knowing that you don’t ‘feel’ a charge out of it…because that shows Him you do the things you do out of love and obedience, not out of how good it feels to you at the time.
As for not being a good wife and mother…
again, check your standards, your expectations…
if you ‘feel’ you’re falling short…what are you expecting from you?
Are you comparing yourself to your neighbor, friend, sister?
To someone on TV?
To your own mother?
Do you love your children?
Do you take care of their needs?
Do you take the time to become familiar with their unique personality traits?
Do you keep the house safe?
Do you make time to listen to your husband when he shares things with you?
If so, then you are no failure by any means.
You
know this. So where is the doubt coming from?
Fix yourself a nice cup of tea, grab a pad and pencil, then ask yourself what you think you’re supposed to be feeling…
write down on the page -
IF my spiritual life was on track this is what I would expect to see/feel/do:
and so on…keep writing, don’t stop to analyze or reflect, that’ll come later…the important thing is to identify your thoughts and feelings.
When you’re done with the list, then go down and cross off those items which you find you are experiencing or which are unrealistic. You may find that your spiritual life is quite on track even though you don’t feel like it is.
Then circle those items which you would like to improve on…share those with us and I’m sure there are many people here who could direct you to good sources to read up on that area or share some prayers with you and so on.