Struggling to have perfect contrition

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Does anyone else here have a hard time having perfect contrition when about to confess mortal sins? I’m usually struggling to get it when I need to confess the mortal ones (which is kinda frequent now–I’m going through a tough time).

If you do have a hard time with it, how do you (personally) attain it? I guess this sounds like kind of a foolish question, but I can’t easily be sorry for having offended God and confessing only for love of Him. I usually have fear of punishment (attrition) more than love of God (perfect contrition). What I mean by “how do you attain it” is, do you (once again, personally) pray for it? Do you read Scripture? I would really appreciate responses to this…I’m really frustrated with myself. I wanna confess soon, especially for the Christmas mass. I don’t wanna sit in the pew during Communion.
 
Yes, I have had problems with it. I pray the Holy Spirit will give me the courage to get through it. It might also help to read Scripture, but one of the biggest things I do is look at the cruficix before I enter the confessional - its a powerful reminder why you should confess all of your sins, because Jesus died for them. Also, try truly examining your conscience and pray that God will help you do so. If its the embarrasement factor I’ve been there too, know that God already knows your sins, but he wants you to confess them. And the priest won’t judge you…Trust and pray that God will give you the strength and courage and enter your confession knowing that you’re trying to heal your relationship with God…and you will be fine!!🙂
 
I guess I haven’t really been all that embarrassed of this particular sin except the first time I confessed it, but I began noticing that if I really had perfect contrition for it, then I probably wouldn’t be committing it again.

Thanks Melissa:) . Those are some good ways.
 
RainDown said:
I guess I haven’t really been all that embarrassed of this particular sin except the first time I confessed it, but I began noticing that if I really had perfect contrition for it, then I probably wouldn’t be committing it again.

Thanks Melissa:) . Those are some good ways.
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Anytime…you might also find some help looking through some of the other posts on here about confession they have some good information!!
 
Let me just point out that for your sins to be forgiven (both mortal and venial), you don’t have to have a perfect contrition. That is why we go to confession. Most of the time, we have a mentality which leads us to an imperfect contrition (sorrow due to fear of hell). Might I suggest that you read Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales. I think that some of the meditations in the book might help in shifting your mindset. Pax Tecum!
 
RainDown said:
Does anyone else here have a hard time having perfect contrition when about to confess mortal sins? I’m usually struggling to get it when I need to confess the mortal ones (which is kinda frequent now–I’m going through a tough time).

If you do have a hard time with it, how do you (personally) attain it? I guess this sounds like kind of a foolish question, but I can’t easily be sorry for having offended God and confessing only for love of Him. I usually have fear of punishment (attrition) more than love of God (perfect contrition). What I mean by “how do you attain it” is, do you (once again, personally) pray for it? Do you read Scripture? I would really appreciate responses to this…I’m really frustrated with myself. I wanna confess soon, especially for the Christmas mass. I don’t wanna sit in the pew during Communion.
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I’m not sure I follow your point. Do you think that because you cannot make an act of perfect contrition that you cannot be forgiven.
Going to Confession out of fear of going to Hell rather than for having offended God is called imperfect contrition but that is still sufficient to be given absolution at Confession and let you receive Communion.
 
RainDown said:
Does anyone else here have a hard time having perfect contrition when about to confess mortal sins? I’m usually struggling to get it when I need to confess the mortal ones (which is kinda frequent now–I’m going through a tough time).

If you do have a hard time with it, how do you (personally) attain it? I guess this sounds like kind of a foolish question, but I can’t easily be sorry for having offended God and confessing only for love of Him. I usually have fear of punishment (attrition) more than love of God (perfect contrition). What I mean by “how do you attain it” is, do you (once again, personally) pray for it? Do you read Scripture? I would really appreciate responses to this…I’m really frustrated with myself. I wanna confess soon, especially for the Christmas mass. I don’t wanna sit in the pew during Communion.
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The diary of Saint Faustina helps me out a lot. Meditation on the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ is even better help.
 
My father loves me.He’s worked long and hard for our family both with our finances,well being and spiritually. He’s provided for us and given us everything we’ve ever needed and more. I have wonderful memories of our long talks and of times we’ve spent together. I also have memories of the times that I have disappointed him in things that I have done and things that I’ve said. He has had to discipline me out of love for those times. Maybe at first I was fearful of his punishment when I misbehaved. But seeing his face,that sad disappointed look,cut me to the core of my being. I love my father. He has loved me regardless and unconditionally all my life. I kills me to hurt him in any way.

When I write this it is about both my father on earth and my Father in heaven.

He is our God and it is through this relationship that I find myself more saddened because I have failed Him and not that I may not enter heaven. I want so much to please Him to be good for Him that when I stumble the first thing I do is apologize to Him knowing He is there always. I don’t think so much about the punishment I have earned but that I am not good enough to be His daughter. But I also know of His mercy and His great love for me and that gladdens my heart ever so much. His mercy and love for me fills me with hope that I may someday see Him knowing when I do that I have not completely failed Him.

I have come to realize that my relationship with Him is more important to me then anything including my sins.When I sin I am choosing myself over Him. Maybe that is why “I” is in the middle of the word “sin”? He already knows my faults but loves me anyway. How great is that? To be in a relationship with God to be so open is with Him is an awesome thing.I love Him.

But as with any relationship we need to take the time to help it to grow. Through talking and listening (prayer) to Him through reading His love letters to us (Scripture) and by respecting and showing Him our love for Him through His children. He is the first person I think of when I wake and the last when I go to sleep. Doesn’t that sound like someone in love:) that is how it should be.

To love Him more then ourselves helps us make a
perfect contrition (a prayer that means I’m sorry)
 
personally, the most I manage most of the time is a rather grudging contrition, as in, well I know it is wrong because the Church teaches it is wrong, and I know full well I did it out of spite, resentment or sheer cussedness, and I am selfish enough to come and demand forgiveness, and I hope through the grace of the sacrament that I will be able to overcome the general nastiness that leads me to sin. I have found that if I confess often enough, even the same sin for years, I gradually become convicted of my own guilt and a spirit of real contrition begins to grow, and oddly enough, only then am I able to truly combat and overcome that particular sin. There is nothing that speeds the process so well as meditating on scripture, especially accounts of the passion, especially with the rosary or stations of the cross, and before the Blessed Sacrament is even better.

The perfect contrition comes after years of maturing and growing in one’s relationship to God, and after years of confronting and battling sin, and after years of seeking and accepting the grace of the sacraments. It is the resultof, not the pre-requisite for those things.
 
I think to attain perfect contrition is another level of spirituality and you’re just not there yet. And that’s ok…just go to confession and do the best you can…that is all God asks of you. And keep trying remember Christ fell 3 times and the 3rd fall symbolizes the fall into mortal sin and how hard it is to get back up. But get back up sometimes I think some of these “holy aspirations” that we have to be at a particular place spiritually in order to please God…a place that is so far beyond us is just something “the enemy” put into our mind in order to discourage us. I’m not saying don’t strive to get there…perfect contrition…but just give your all even if you think it is not that much…remember the poor woman in the Bible who only gave a little bit…but how Jesus responded she gave her all? Ask Mary to teach you about her Son…so that you may know Him, Love Him and Serve Him with your whole heart & soul and I guarentee you that a whole new world will open up for you.👍
 
thistle said:
I’m not sure I follow your point. Do you think that because you cannot make an act of perfect contrition that you cannot be forgiven.
Going to Confession out of fear of going to Hell rather than for having offended God is called imperfect contrition but that is still sufficient to be given absolution at Confession and let you receive Communion.
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The CCC says specifically that imperfect contrition is not sufficient for grave sins, but it does dispose one to later have perfect contrition.
 
RainDown said:
The CCC says specifically that imperfect contrition is not sufficient for grave sins, but it does dispose one to later have perfect contrition.
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No it doesn’t. It says the act of imperfect contrition requires Confession before forgiveness but it does not say you cannot receive absolution at Confession if your motive is fear of Hell rather than offending God.
 
thistle said:
No it doesn’t. It says the act of imperfect contrition requires Confession before forgiveness but it does not say you cannot receive absolution at Confession if your motive is fear of Hell rather than offending God.
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What? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t think what you said is what I meant. I didn’t say that absolution cannot be received if the motive is attrition, unless, of course, the sin is grave.

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.

What I put in bold is basically what I’ve said, isn’t it?
 
I confessed today, and I did the best I could, for God. That seems to me to be confessing for love of God, so I guess I was alright.
 
RainDown said:
What? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t think what you said is what I meant. I didn’t say that absolution cannot be received if the motive is attrition, unless, of course, the sin is grave.

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.

What I put in bold is basically what I’ve said, isn’t it?
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We are talking at cross purposes, I think.
I thought you were implying that someone who goes to Confession cannot be forgiven (mortal sins) and receive absolution if their only or main reason for confessing was fear of going to Hell.
My apologies if I have misunderstood you.
 
thistle said:
We are talking at cross purposes, I think.
I thought you were implying that someone who goes to Confession cannot be forgiven (mortal sins) and receive absolution if their only or main reason for confessing was fear of going to Hell.
My apologies if I have misunderstood you.
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I don’t know thistle, I think I’m starting to confuse myself…😉

Well, anyway, can you explain what the quote from the CCC I pasted means? Now I’m not really sure if I’m right in what I think it says.
 
Hello,

Here’s just a quick question about confession:

If you have not gone in a while, how are you supposed to be sincerly sorry for your sins?

Personally, I feel the most sorry immediatly after commiting a sin, but it wears off after a while, so by the time I get to Confession, I really, barely, feel bad. I want to, but I can’t.

What do you think?

By the way, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I made.
 
Go to confession a lot…

I’ve been going every week for the last year, not because i want to either…because it’s necessary. Frequent confession helps is instructive with regards to personal weakness, and it helps deepen one’s relationship with God.

Eventually, it became tiring for me to rush out to confession because i was afraid of the apocalypse, it became an obsession. At that point I told the Lord “here i am with all my junk, help me because i cant do it on my own”. And you know what? When i started to do that, my outlook on sin and confession changed, almost immediately. Now I am working with Jesus, he is helping me to be better. Whereas before i was trying of my own strength to please him.

The most important is to trust in God’s mercy and forgiveness, and in time it will come as a gift. I look forward to this time of peace!

Merry Christmass
 
We pray for perfect contrition, but, sometimes, most of the time,it is difficult to achieve. However, rest assured that God always looks for a way into our hearts. He doesn’t force Himself on us. In other words, even being sorry for your sin because of the pains of hell is enough of a crack in the door for God’s grace to come into our hearts.

Remember what St. Paul says: the good that we do, we don’t always do and the evil we want to avoid is what we wind up doing. Also, remember, too, what St. Augustine said: to want to forgive is already to forgive, or, in our case, to want to have perfect contritition is already getting on the right track.
 
coolduude said:
Hello,

Here’s just a quick question about confession:

If you have not gone in a while, how are you supposed to be sincerly sorry for your sins?

Personally, I feel the most sorry immediatly after commiting a sin, but it wears off after a while, so by the time I get to Confession, I really, barely, feel bad. I want to, but I can’t.

What do you think?

By the way, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I made.
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The sacraments are not about our emotions, though emotions can be useful. Feelings come and go and we can’t always control them. Ongoing conversion cannot be based on how we feel.

We are to have sincere remorse – being sorry for having offended God, seeking His forgiveness, and having a firm purpose of amendment, meaning we resolve to try not to commit that sin again. “Being sorry” is intellectual, though feelings may be involved.

This sacrament is one of healing and of conversion, and again, is not about how we feel. We are restored in relationship with God and with the Church for having sinned against God, others, and ourselves.
 
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