Struggling to have perfect contrition

[Joannm]

Hello,

Here’s just a quick question about confession:

If you have not gone in a while, how are you supposed to be sincerly sorry for your sins?

Personally, I feel the most sorry immediatly after commiting a sin, but it wears off after a while, so by the time I get to Confession, I really, barely, feel bad. I want to, but I can’t.

What do you think?

By the way, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I made.

I think the reason might not feel really bad by the time you go to confession is because you have aleady admitted your sin to yourself and to God, you have expressed sorrow and grief for offending God, and you start to make ammends for that sin. When you go to confession, you are sacramentally expressing what has been happening already in your spirit, you are, at this point, expressing it verbally and receiving God’s forgiveness. Now some might say, “why then do I need to go to confession if I have already expressed sorrow and don’t feel bad anymore?” Well, like any sacrament, it is an outward sign of an inner reality, your inner reality of true sorrow and contrition, and the inner reality of grace received through sacramental absolution of your sin. The Sacrament of Penance is not meant to make us feel bad. In fact, it is the recognition and guilt over our sins that make us feel bad and once we get to the confessional we know we are going to receive God’s forgiveness so we should feel happy, even before we go in. Anywhat that is just how I feel about it.

 

[Joannm]

personally, the most I manage most of the time is a rather grudging contrition, as in, well I know it is wrong because the Church teaches it is wrong, and I know full well I did it out of spite, resentment or sheer cussedness, and I am selfish enough to come and demand forgiveness, and I hope through the grace of the sacrament that I will be able to overcome the general nastiness that leads me to sin. QUOTE]

I have had the same experience. There are some things that I habitually do that I don’t think are that wrong but because the Church says they are I grudginly confess them. I have also had the experience of coming to a real understanding of of overcoming some of these type of sins. I still have a few more I am working on. What is amazing is when I finally come to the realization that, yes, the Church is right on this or that action and I can finally put that particular sin out of my life…

 

[Lainey63]

I think the reason might not feel really bad by the time you go to confession is because you have aleady admitted your sin to yourself and to God, you have expressed sorrow and grief for offending God, and you start to make ammends for that sin. When you go to confession, you are sacramentally expressing what has been happening already in your spirit, you are, at this point, expressing it verbally and receiving God’s forgiveness. Now some might say, “why then do I need to go to confession if I have already expressed sorrow and don’t feel bad anymore?” Well, like any sacrament, it is an outward sign of an inner reality, your inner reality of true sorrow and contrition, and the inner reality of grace received through sacramental absolution of your sin. The Sacrament of Penance is not meant to make us feel bad. In fact, it is the recognition and guilt over our sins that make us feel bad and once we get to the confessional we know we are going to receive God’s forgiveness so we should feel happy, even before we go in. Anywhat that is just how I feel about it.

Awesome answer!

 

[thistle]

I don’t know thistle, I think I’m starting to confuse myself…

Well, anyway, can you explain what the quote from the CCC I pasted means? Now I’m not really sure if I’m right in what I think it says.

When you are in a state of mortal sin:

Making an act of perfect contrition (which requires the intent to go to Confession as soon as possible) means that should you die before you get to Confession your sins would be forgiven and you would be saved. An act of perfect contrition is made when you are really sorry for having offended God as the main reason.

Making an act of imperfect contrition means if you die before you get to Confession your sins are not forgiven and you would not be saved. An act of imperfect contrition is when your main reason for being sorry and wanting to confess is fear of going to Hell but if you go to Confession imperfect contrition is still sufficient to receive absolution, assuming you are sincere in your confession.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

Making an act of perfect contrition (which requires the intent to go to Confession as soon as possible) means that should you die before you get to Confession your sins would be forgiven and you would be saved. An act of perfect contrition is made when you are really sorry for having offended God as the main reason.

Thistle,

Perfect contrition forgives sins and restores one to grace immediately. You are restored to a state of grace. You can perform meritorious acts.

It has nothing at all to do with dying. It is true you should strive to make an act of perfect contrition if you are in danger of death – but you should also strive for it as soon as you commit a mortal sin, and you should strive for it anytime you go to confession.

VC

 

[thistle]

Thistle,

Perfect contrition forgives sins and restores one to grace immediately. You are restored to a state of grace. You can perform meritorious acts.

It has nothing at all to do with dying. It is true you should strive to make an act of perfect contrition if you are in danger of death – but you should also strive for it as soon as you commit a mortal sin, and you should strive for it anytime you go to confession.

VC

An act of perfect contrition is CONDITIONAL upon the intent of getting to Confession as soon as possible. If you are in a state of mortal sin and make an act of perfect contrition you cannot receive Communion until you go to Confession. If you were unconditionally forgiven you would be able to receive Communion.

Those who think making an act of perfect contrition does not require Confession are Protestants. In other words those who think we do not need to confess to priests at all.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

An act of perfect contrition is CONDITIONAL upon the intent of getting to Confession as soon as possible.

Thistle,

Perfect contrition contains within it the intent to go to confession as soon as possible. Without that intent, you don’t have perfect contrition.

thistle:

If you are in a state of mortal sin and make an act of perfect contrition you cannot receive Communion until you go to Confession.

Normally. But in grave circumstances one can receive communion without prior sacramental confession, but after an act of perfect contrition.

thistle:

If you were unconditionally forgiven you would be able to receive Communion.

Thistle, there can be no “conditions” on forgiveness. Either you are forgiven or not. Perfect contrition isn’t like an insurance policy – whereby forgiveness springs into effect if you die before you get to confession.

If you willfully don’t go to confession at the earliest opportunity that would be a new and different sin.

Note too that perfect contrition obtains forgiveness of sins, which is distinct from absolution. You are required to submit those sins to the juridical act of absolution in the sacrament of confession – to submit them to the power of the keys, even though they are already forgiven.

Catechism 1452 states that perfect contrition

“obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.”

Note that it requires the resolution to go to confession only. There is nothing in there about forgiveness obtaining only if one* dies* before confession. The forgiveness is immediate.

VC

 

[RainDown]

Thistle,

Perfect contrition contains within it the intent to go to confession as soon as possible. Without that intent, you don’t have perfect contrition.

If you willfully don’t go to confession at the earliest opportunity that would be a new and different sin.

VC

Uh-oh… I didn’t go as soon as I possibly could…I wanted to be sure that I was truly sorry. I know I need perfect contrition for grave sins, but since I didn’t go at the earliest opportunity, was my contrition not perfect? I did confess that I didn’t go at my first opportunity though. I’m really confused. Have my mortal sins been forgiven or not? I received the Eucharist at the weekend mass, would it not be okay for me to receive it for the next mass I attend? Or would it be fine since I didn’t know that intent to go at the first opportunity was needed for perfect contrition?

 

[thistle]

Uh-oh… I didn’t go as soon as I possibly could…I wanted to be sure that I was truly sorry. I know I need perfect contrition for grave sins, but since I didn’t go at the earliest opportunity, was my contrition not perfect? I did confess that I didn’t go at my first opportunity though. I’m really confused. Have my mortal sins been forgiven or not? I received the Eucharist at the weekend mass, would it not be okay for me to receive it for the next mass I attend? Or would it be fine since I didn’t know that intent to go at the first opportunity was needed for perfect contrition?

Even if you make an act of perfect contrition, and I defy anyone to say they can be absolutely sure they have managed this, you CANNOT receive Communion before going to Confession. To do so is sacreligious and another mortal sin.

 

[thistle]

Thistle,

Perfect contrition contains within it the intent to go to confession as soon as possible. Without that intent, you don’t have perfect contrition.

Normally. But in grave circumstances one can receive communion without prior sacramental confession, but after an act of perfect contrition.

Thistle, there can be no “conditions” on forgiveness. Either you are forgiven or not. Perfect contrition isn’t like an insurance policy – whereby forgiveness springs into effect if you die before you get to confession.

If you willfully don’t go to confession at the earliest opportunity that would be a new and different sin.

Note too that perfect contrition obtains forgiveness of sins, which is distinct from absolution. You are required to submit those sins to the juridical act of absolution in the sacrament of confession – to submit them to the power of the keys, even though they are already forgiven.

Catechism 1452 states that perfect contrition Note that it requires the resolution to go to confession only. There is nothing in there about forgiveness obtaining only if one dies** before confession. The forgiveness is immediate.

VC

You cannot receive Communion in a state of mortal sin. By definition therefore you are not absolved unless you live and get to Confession or you fully intended to go but died before getting there.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

Even if you make an act of perfect contrition. . . you CANNOT receive Communion before going to Confession.

Unless there is grave reason. See Canon 916…

 

[Verbum_Caro]

You cannot receive Communion in a state of mortal sin. By definition therefore you are not absolved unless you live and get to Confession or you fully intended to go but died before getting there.

Thistle,

Forgiveness of sins and restoration of the state of grace differs from sacramental absolution. Sacramental absolution does forgive sins and restore one to grace, but one may receive extra-sacramental forgiveness before going to confession.

However, if one does receive extra-sacramental forgiveness before confession one still has an obligation to go to confession (*even though those sins have already been forgiven) *in order to submit them to the power of the keys, and receive absolution, and to have complete assurance of forgiveness.

You keep stating that perfect contrition does not forgive sins and restore one to the state of grace unless you die before confession. Can you show us where you get that from? Did someone teach you this? Did you read it somewhere?

Not being admitted to communion is not the sole determinant of whether someone is in the state of grace. There can be other reasons one is not permitted to go to communion – not observing the proper fast, having already received communion that day, etc, AND in this case not confessing ones sins in the sacrament of penance (and having no grave reason to go to communion).

It doesn’t mean that perfect contrition doesn’t forgive sins and restore grace. In fact, perfect contrition by definition is incompatible with sin, and must be accompanied by the state of grace, and the supernatural virtue of charity.

See, for instance Fr. Hardon’s Catholic Dictionary definition on *Perfect Contrition:
*

Perfect contrition removes the guilt and eternal punishment due to grave sin, even before sacramental absolution. However, a Catholic is obliged to confess his or her grave sins at the earliest opportunity and may not, in normal circumstances, receive Communion before he or she has been absolved by a priest in the sacrament of penance.

Any help?
VC

 

[thistle]

Thistle,

Forgiveness of sins and restoration of the state of grace differs from sacramental absolution. Sacramental absolution does forgive sins and restore one to grace, but one may receive extra-sacramental forgiveness before going to confession.

However, if one does receive extra-sacramental forgiveness before confession one still has an obligation to go to confession (*even though those sins have already been forgiven) *in order to submit them to the power of the keys, and receive absolution, and to have complete assurance of forgiveness.

You keep stating that perfect contrition does not forgive sins and restore one to the state of grace unless you die before confession. Can you show us where you get that from? Did someone teach you this? Did you read it somewhere?

Not being admitted to communion is not the sole determinant of whether someone is in the state of grace. There can be other reasons one is not permitted to go to communion – not observing the proper fast, having already received communion that day, etc, AND in this case not confessing ones sins in the sacrament of penance (and having no grave reason to go to communion).

It doesn’t mean that perfect contrition doesn’t forgive sins and restore grace. In fact, perfect contrition by definition is incompatible with sin, and must be accompanied by the state of grace, and the supernatural virtue of charity.

See, for instance Fr. Hardon’s Catholic Dictionary definition on *Perfect Contrition:
*

Any help?
VC

Whether you are in a state of grace or a state of mortal sin is the only thing that determines if you can receive Communion. If you are in a state of grace you may receive. If you are in a state of mortal sin you can not.

Regarding bolded and undelined part I did not say that you are only forgiven if you die before going to Confession. With perfect contrition you are forgiven if you die before you get to Confession but if you do not die then absolution is only obtained by getting to Confession as soon as possible.

If someone makes an act of perfect contrition and later decided not to go to Confession are you suggesting that they are able to receive Communion?

With regard to Can 916 I would say that applies in cases of a general absolution to many people where a real chance of death is there and so no chance to let them individually confess to the priest but they make an act of perfect contrition with the firm intent to go to Confession as soon as possible thereafter.

Can. 916 Anyone who is conscious of grave sin may not celebrate Mass or receive the Body of the Lord without previously having been to sacramental confession, unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, which includes the resolve to go to confession as soon as possible.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

Uh-oh… I didn’t go as soon as I possibly could…I wanted to be sure that I was truly sorry. I know I need perfect contrition for grave sins, but since I didn’t go at the earliest opportunity, was my contrition not perfect? I did confess that I didn’t go at my first opportunity though. I’m really confused. Have my mortal sins been forgiven or not? I received the Eucharist at the weekend mass, would it not be okay for me to receive it for the next mass I attend? Or would it be fine since I didn’t know that intent to go at the first opportunity was needed for perfect contrition?

RainDown,

Apologies, because I have not been addressing your questions or your circumstances in this thread. I have been concerned only with the definition and results of perfect contrition in the abstract.

In reviewing the whole thread it seems to me that you might not have a firm grasp on what perfect contrition and imperfect contrition (or attrition) mean specifically. The first half of this thread seems to be discussing “perfect” contrition in some sort of devotional context, i.e. having the greatest sorrow possible for sin. But that is not what perfect contrition means in the technical and narrow sense.

Perfect contrition means that one has sorrow for sin out of love of God, whom is loved above all things. Imperfect contrition means sorrow for sin out of lesser (although still supernatural) motives – for instance fear of hell, sadness at loss of heaven, sorrow at lost merit and grace, etc.

Either type of contrition is sufficient to receive sacramental absolution and forgiveness in the sacrament of penance.

You do not have to “wait” until you cultivate perfect contrition before going to confession. Quite the contrary! One may approach the sacrament with imperfect contrition.

The talk in this thread about “the earliest opportunity” doesn’t apply to you. The phrase “the earliest opportunity” is used to denote that if someone commits a grave sin, and **if **that person has perfect contrition, then as part of that perfect contrition the person would resolve to go to confession as soon as possible.

Rain Down, it sounds to me (I don’t have all the details) that you are just going to confession in the normal, everyday Catholic manner. Keep doing it. You don’t need perfect contrition to go to confession. If you have committed a grave sin, just go to confession before going to communion.

Best to talk to your priest about the whole thing.

Any help?
VC

 

[Verbum_Caro]

Whether you are in a state of grace or a state of mortal sin is the only thing that determines if you can receive Communion. If you are in a state of grace you may receive. If you are in a state of mortal sin you can not.

Thistle, those are distinct considerations. One may be prohibited from going to communion because of disciplinary considerations, even though one is in the state of grace. Children could be in the state of grace, but not yet admitted to communion. Non-Catholics might be in the state of grace but prohibited from communion. You might be in the state of grace but have not fasted for an hour prior and so may not receive communion. Likewise it is the rule of the Church that all mortal sins of which one is aware must be confessed before receiving communion (unless there is a grave reason).

But receiving forgiveness and being restored to grace, although normatively received through the confession and absolution, may happen in other ways.

One such way is extra-sacramentally through perfect contrition.

I did not say that you are only forgiven if you die before going to Confession. With perfect contrition you are forgiven if you die before you get to Confession but if you do not die then absolution is only obtained by getting to Confession as soon as possible.

(my emphasis)
Thistle, absolution is only obtained through confession anyway. But forgiveness is obtained through perfect contrition immediately. You aren’t in a state of mortal sin until you die (and then are forgiven) or you aren’t in a state of mortal sin until you can get to confession. Perfect contrition is not an insurance policy in case you die or until you get to confession. It actually forgives sins, because the supernatural virtue of Charity (which perfect contrition is akin to) is incompatible with mortal sin. It restores grace.

If someone makes an act of perfect contrition and later decided not to go to Confession are you suggesting that they are able to receive Communion?

No of course not. If they have perfect contrition (which includes the resolve to go to confession as soon as possible) then they are restored to grace. They still must go to confession before receiving communion (unless there is a grave reason to allow them to go to communion before going to confession). If the decide not to go to confession they can’t go to communion (in normal circumstances).

With regard to Can 916 I would say that applies in cases of a general absolution to many people where a real chance of death is there and so no chance to let them individually confess to the priest but they make an act of perfect contrition with the firm intent to go to Confession as soon as possible thereafter.

No, it doesn’t apply to general absolution. In those cases a priest actually administers absolution. Canon 916 is for cases when someone (a priest or laity) **cannot **receive absolution from a priest and there is grave reason to go to communion before doing so. For instance, if a lone priest is in mortal sin and must celebrate mass, he makes an act of perfect contrition and then celebrates Mass and receives the Body of Christ.

VC

 

[LordNecro]

Don’t think about hell. Think about God’s goodness and the gift of purgatory. If you don’t think about eternal punishment, and rather cleansing discipline, you’ll probably realise that you can either go through the pain of trying to rectify yourself in this life, or in the next. It’s necessary, and once you focus on that and not on the threat of punishment, you might find it easier.

Also, if you stop thinking about eternal punishment, you’ll come to see the punishment for sin in this world. Without hell, about the worst thing that can happen is going to mass, watching the sacrifice and being unable to receive the Eucharist. And trust me, this isn’t pleasant!

And if the worst punishment is your inability to communicate, then you might be closer to perfect contrition. If the fear is punishment of hell then it’s imperfect contrition. If it’s fear of being cut off from Jesus, it might be a bit closer to being perfect contrition, because it’s focusing on your relationship with God?

I’m sure some people will disagree with me, sorry about that. Felt I should post anyway.

 

[RainDown]

RainDown,

In reviewing the whole thread it seems to me that you might not have a firm grasp on what perfect contrition and imperfect contrition (or attrition) mean specifically. The first half of this thread seems to be discussing “perfect” contrition in some sort of devotional context, i.e. having the greatest sorrow possible for sin. But that is not what perfect contrition means in the technical and narrow sense.

Perfect contrition means that one has sorrow for sin out of love of God, whom is loved above all things. Imperfect contrition means sorrow for sin out of lesser (although still supernatural) motives – for instance fear of hell, sadness at loss of heaven, sorrow at lost merit and grace, etc.

Either type of contrition is sufficient to receive sacramental absolution and forgiveness in the sacrament of penance.

You do not have to “wait” until you cultivate perfect contrition before going to confession. Quite the contrary! One may approach the sacrament with imperfect contrition.

The talk in this thread about “the earliest opportunity” doesn’t apply to you. The phrase “the earliest opportunity” is used to denote that if someone commits a grave sin, and **if **that person has perfect contrition, then as part of that perfect contrition the person would resolve to go to confession as soon as possible.

Best to talk to your priest about the whole thing.

Any help?
VC

Hm, I think I kinda get it, but there’s still some problems. What does para. 1453 from the CCC mean then?

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.

What I’ve underlined–does this mean that it cannot obtain forgiveness for grave sins outside of confession, but it can along with it?

Is that what you’re saying? I heard my priest say all I needed for my grave sins at least in confession was a fear of hell or a disgust at the ugliness of sins. I thought “What? Doesn’t that go against the CCC?” But I think I get it now… I think what caused this whole thing was a misinterpretation of the Catechism.

 

[Verbum_Caro]

What I’ve underlined–does this mean that it cannot obtain forgiveness for grave sins outside of confession, but it can along with it?

Yes, exactly. You’ve got it.

VC

 

[RainDown]

Thank you so much! I feel MUCH better now!

Merry Christmas!

 

[RainDown]

Hm, I have another question.

The CCC says this:

1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.

Does this mean mortal sins are forgiven with perfect contrition but we need to go to confession to have them absolved?