Struggling to pray

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LemonAndLime

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This is a problem I’ve had really since starting RCIA, just too embarasing to talk about. I’m struggling to pray.

Part of it is motivation yes, but its trying to motivate myself against my fears. I’m not sure how I’m meant to pray. I feel guilty for not praying the rosary every day so feel ashamed thinking about it. I think the problem with motivation is also that I tend to stay up really late, so by the time I go to bed I’m too tired to concentrate on much. I try to at least say the Our Father each night, which is a good start I suppose, but I do really enjoy praying the Holy Souls rosary - it’s just fighting against my shyness with praying. When I do pray earnestly I feel a real sense of peace. Things are improving slowly, but it’s still an issue for me.

I find it very difficult to pray to Jesus, for example, because I know I used to insult him a lot in the past when I was a rebellious teenager. When I was a child, Jesus was like an older brother. But then as I became a young adult I’m finding it difficult to get to know him again.

I’m scared of loosing my faith, scared of not praying properly or enough, and just to give you an idea about my general character - I do have a fear of failing. I go to Mass every Sunday, and really enjoy going.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would appreciate them greatly.
 
I honestly think their is no wrong way to pray. I usually go to my room or church kneel and just open up and talk to god, jesus, mary about what’s going on. For me it gets emotional and I let it all out. After that chat with him ill pray the rosary and some prayers and read out of my bible. They will always be their no matter what. They have already forgiven you even before you’ve asked for forgiveness.
 
Oh hon, NEVER be afraid to approach Jesus… remember how merciful He is.

My suggestion, start praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet. It only takes about 10-15 minutes at the most, and will help you realise just how much Jesus loves you and is full of forgiveness and mercy.

I think that is the start, in my opinion. To realise that Jesus hold no grudges, and gave this chaplet to all who come to Him for mercy. He’s so happy to have you back!

If the Divine Mercy Chaplet is still too much for you at this point, try just praying throughout the day “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner” and then graduate to the Divine Mercy Chaplet.
 
Loboto-Me said:
Oh hon, NEVER be afraid to approach Jesus… remember how merciful He is.

My suggestion, start praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet. It only takes about 10-15 minutes at the most, and will help you realise just how much Jesus loves you and is full of forgiveness and mercy.

I think that is the start, in my opinion. To realise that Jesus hold no grudges, and gave this chaplet to all who come to Him for mercy. He’s so happy to have you back!

If the Divine Mercy Chaplet is still too much for you at this point, try just praying throughout the day “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner” and then graduate to the Divine Mercy Chaplet.
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Thank you, I will try that certainly. I do mentally pray throughout the day often, it’s just the sitting down and saying a long prayer I find difficult. I am getting better, but my prayers are often clumsy and I just end up finishing by saying “…and yeah, all my other problems.”
 
LemonAndLime said:
This is a problem I’ve had really since starting RCIA, just too embarasing to talk about. I’m struggling to pray.

Part of it is motivation yes, but its trying to motivate myself against my fears. I’m not sure how I’m meant to pray. I feel guilty for not praying the rosary every day so feel ashamed thinking about it. I think the problem with motivation is also that I tend to stay up really late, so by the time I go to bed I’m too tired to concentrate on much. I try to at least say the Our Father each night, which is a good start I suppose, but I do really enjoy praying the Holy Souls rosary - it’s just fighting against my shyness with praying. When I do pray earnestly I feel a real sense of peace. Things are improving slowly, but it’s still an issue for me.

I find it very difficult to pray to Jesus, for example, because I know I used to insult him a lot in the past when I was a rebellious teenager. When I was a child, Jesus was like an older brother. But then as I became a young adult I’m finding it difficult to get to know him again.

I’m scared of loosing my faith, scared of not praying properly or enough, and just to give you an idea about my general character - I do have a fear of failing. I go to Mass every Sunday, and really enjoy going.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would appreciate them greatly.
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I recommend a book called Prayer For Beginners by Peter Kreeft.
 
It might sound flippant but I think its a matter of routine!
There are millions of prayers but you need to allocate time in each day to connect with God.

Every day have your ten minutes to say you chosen routine prayer (decade of the rosary if thats all you have time for). Say it on the good days and the bad. At the end of the prayer take some deep breaths and try to visualize God looking down on you. Do that for five minutes maybe.Think about being sorry for sins and for being thankful for all the blessings you have had in the day.

another good habit might be the Jewish custom of the berchot. Just bless everything in your head when you can remember to thank god for it. Thank you God for the trees or Blessed be the People who walk in the paths of the Lord. You improvise.

Anyway I think the key is to be constant, through the good and the bad. Remember Abraham and Sarah, waiting and waiting and still nothing, but never giving up…until one day.
 
Why don’t you make a commitment to spend 20 minutes in prayer in the morning?

And since you have difficulty praying, use a prayer book of some kind, or a book of good meditations, such as St. Francis de Sale’s, and similar.
 
When I came back to the Church I started small, I too found praying very difficult.
For a while I’d just say an Our Father before I went to bed, and also before mass.
Then when that came naturally I added a Hail Mary. Then a Glory Be. And then coming up with my own words started to come naturally. I also found it helped to read the Bible or a book like The Imitation of Christ before praying, it seemed to make it easier because I was more centred on God.

I don’t think God minds if your prayers are ‘clumsy’. In the end, He knows your intentions and He knows your heart - He will get the message 🙂
 
Shin said:
Why don’t you make a commitment to spend 20 minutes in prayer in the morning?

And since you have difficulty praying, use a prayer book of some kind, or a book of good meditations, such as St. Francis de Sale’s, and similar.
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Since she’s struggling to pray as it, that might be too much. Which leads to discouragement.

Taken in small bites, or however God made our different personalities—like someone else said there’s no wrong way.

Good luck, L & L!
 
Thank you for everyone’s suggestions!

PerfectTiming - I feel reassured to know someone else had the same problem. I think I will continue to say the Our Father each night before bed. I’ve made a little shrine to Our Lady in my bedroom on a shelf in my bedroom, I’m considering saying a Hail Mary each time it catches me eye to get me used to praying during the day.

As kildare says I do think it’s a matter of routine. I have recently brought myself a shawl I intend to use as a prayer shawl, and some candles. I really do want to dedicate 20 minutes or so each day (as another poster says) but it is something I’ll have to work up to - I’d like to be able to sit down, wear my shawl and light a candle. Sounds a little wierd but to try and “get me into the mood” as it were.
 
“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” Matthew 5:23,24

LemonAndLime, I share this verse with you because your story reminded me somewhat of my feelings in times past. I was having difficulty with prayer and didn’t know why. As it turned out, I needed to acknowledge, confess and repent of a sin that I was committing. After that happened, my prayer life “took off” so to speak. Just saying this may not apply to you or your situation, but I wanted to share that with you.

Lord thank you for LemonAndLime’s heart to want to pray to you. Please guide and direct him/her to find the avenue between You and him/her. In the name of Jesus Christ.
 
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