Struggling with a scrupulous friend

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I have a friend who struggles with scrupulosity. Of course she goes to confession frequently, and usually on the way there (I drive her) I end up hearing everything she wants to tell the priest. I counsel her to please keep these things between her and her confessor, but she doesn’t listen, and continues to do this over and over again. Of course I’m keeping this confidential, but it’s frustrating to me. I’m SO glad I’m not a priest!

She’s also extremely over-sensitive. I told her that this type of over-sensitivity is a form of pride. We were at Mass a few days ago and she was talking prior to Mass. I was on my knees, and trying to influence her to a quiet position. However, a woman in front of us said loudly , “Shhhhh” I could see right away that this was going to bother her greatly. I wrote down, “Don’t let her destroy your joy”; because I know her. Then the priest said something funny during the homily, and people were laughing.My friend has a loud laugh, so now the woman turns around and gives her a nasty look. After Mass, my friend, after genuflecting, made a nasty “SHHHH” back at the woman.

I realize this wasn’t a appropriate response from my friend. But this original behavior sent my friend into a 24-hour non sleeping, crying, thinking that she was worthless that people hated her. etc. etc. etc… That she would never go to Mass ever again. When I invited her the day after (we were at a 5-day mission) she went and went to confession, about “Shussing” the lady, crying the whole time. She couldn’t get over this woman’s attitude towards her.

The last time this happened she stopped going to mass for six months. I hope she gets over this …

Please pray for her that she recovers from this episode. I’m praying that she recognizes that her sensitivity is something she needs to pray for strength to overcome.

AND LORD, please help me be patient!
 
marlap2 said:
I have a friend who struggles with scrupulosity. Of course she goes to confession frequently, and usually on the way there (I drive her) I end up hearing everything she wants to tell the priest. I counsel her to please keep these things between her and her confessor, but she doesn’t listen, and continues to do this over and over again. Of course I’m keeping this confidential, but it’s frustrating to me. I’m SO glad I’m not a priest!

She’s also extremely over-sensitive. I told her that this type of over-sensitivity is a form of pride. We were at Mass a few days ago and she was talking prior to Mass. I was on my knees, and trying to influence her to a quiet position. However, a woman in front of us said loudly , “Shhhhh” I could see right away that this was going to bother her greatly. I wrote down, “Don’t let her destroy your joy”; because I know her. Then the priest said something funny during the homily, and people were laughing.My friend has a loud laugh, so now the woman turns around and gives her a nasty look. After Mass, my friend, after genuflecting, made a nasty “SHHHH” back at the woman.

I realize this wasn’t a appropriate response from my friend. But this original behavior sent my friend into a 24-hour non sleeping, crying, thinking that she was worthless that people hated her. etc. etc. etc… That she would never go to Mass ever again. When I invited her the day after (we were at a 5-day mission) she went and went to confession, about “Shussing” the lady, crying the whole time. She couldn’t get over this woman’s attitude towards her.

The last time this happened she stopped going to mass for six months. I hope she gets over this …

Please pray for her that she recovers from this episode. I’m praying that she recognizes that her sensitivity is something she needs to pray for strength to overcome.

AND LORD, please help me be patient!
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The woman in front of you and your friend had no business turning around and shussing you both. She is the one with the problem. I am not sure what to say about your friend but maybe going to Mass with her is not a good idea. Your friend needs some counseling, she has some real problems that border on some serious mental illness. Continue to pray for her but it is going to take some serious therapy to help her.
 
marlap2 said:
I have a friend who struggles with scrupulosity. Of course she goes to confession frequently, and usually on the way there (I drive her) I end up hearing everything she wants to tell the priest. I counsel her to please keep these things between her and her confessor, but she doesn’t listen, and continues to do this over and over again. Of course I’m keeping this confidential, but it’s frustrating to me. I’m SO glad I’m not a priest!

She’s also extremely over-sensitive. I told her that this type of over-sensitivity is a form of pride. We were at Mass a few days ago and she was talking prior to Mass. I was on my knees, and trying to influence her to a quiet position. However, a woman in front of us said loudly , “Shhhhh” I could see right away that this was going to bother her greatly. I wrote down, “Don’t let her destroy your joy”; because I know her. Then the priest said something funny during the homily, and people were laughing.My friend has a loud laugh, so now the woman turns around and gives her a nasty look. After Mass, my friend, after genuflecting, made a nasty “SHHHH” back at the woman.

I realize this wasn’t a appropriate response from my friend. But this original behavior sent my friend into a 24-hour non sleeping, crying, thinking that she was worthless that people hated her. etc. etc. etc… That she would never go to Mass ever again. When I invited her the day after (we were at a 5-day mission) she went and went to confession, about “Shussing” the lady, crying the whole time. She couldn’t get over this woman’s attitude towards her.

The last time this happened she stopped going to mass for six months. I hope she gets over this …

Please pray for her that she recovers from this episode. I’m praying that she recognizes that her sensitivity is something she needs to pray for strength to overcome.

AND LORD, please help me be patient!
Click to expand...
Your friend needs a regular spiritual director to help go through this. I very much doubt this is something than can be resolved with a regular Confession.
 
Your friend needs professional help. To keep from “hearing” her confession in the car, suggest that you pray the rosary together on the way over.
 
robwar said:
The woman in front of you and your friend had no business turning around and shussing you both. She is the one with the problem. I am not sure what to say about your friend but maybe going to Mass with her is not a good idea. Your friend needs some counseling, she has some real problems that border on some serious mental illness. Continue to pray for her but it is going to take some serious therapy to help her.
Click to expand...
She’s in therapy and on disability. She has social anxiety disorder and PTSD. There’s very few people she trusts, and I’m one of two people who take her to Mass. Most of the time she presents very well, but it doesn’t take much for her to start drowning in dispair.
 
marlap2 said:
She’s in therapy and on disability. She has social anxiety disorder and PTSD. There’s very few people she trusts, and I’m one of two people who take her to Mass. Most of the time she presents very well, but it doesn’t take much for her to start drowning in dispair.
Click to expand...
That diagnosis makes sense based on the behavior you describe. But she needs a spiritual director, especially if she is telling you all about her sin the car. My guess is she probably feels she has to.
 
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