Struggling with anger and impatience

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I was very blessed this week in that I spent some time in Italy with family. This was a family holiday and not a pilgrimage but by God’s grace I had the brief opportunity to visit some beautiful churches and places of faith. One of which was the church in Siena with the relics of St. Catherine (her head and finger - the children were horrified and fascinated!). I bought an English translation of her letters at the church and decided to use it for my Lenten reading. The first major letter was a reflection on patience and it’s importance. I spent some time in prayer and realized that there were plenty of areas of improvement in my life regarding patience.

Well since Ash Wednesday I have been constantly getting very angry, frustrated and impatient! I am finding it very hard to understand why, simple things are triggering A LOT of anger in me and I am usually a relatively mellow person (although maybe I am deluding myself).

How do I manage my anger and impatience from a spiritual perspective? The only positive I can take from it is that it is a truly humbling experience to feel humiliated in the face of my inability to control my mood successfully. As St. Catherine says the virtue of patience is the best antidote to pride.

opps I meant to post this in Spirituality
 
Sounds like a wonderful trip!

I honestly believe Satan tries to tempt us when he knows that we’re doing something for God. Like you, I try to be civil and mild mannered and I always feel like I’m on the verge of lashing out toward others during times of prayer or fasting. The solution? Pray a little bit more and ask God to intervene. Always works for me!

God Bless,
 
I find that if I say a “Hail Mary” … it seems very calming.

Supermarket check out lines.

Traffic [grrr]

Endless boring meetings.

People who repeat themselves seven times.

Try it out and see how it works for you.
 
I suggest prayer. I do struggle with a lot of anger and impatience, especially toward a rambunctious kitten I have. Prayer helps me. I also take deep breaths.
 
I find that regular prayer for help with anger helps. I say a hail mary every night, and I’ve been a relatively mellow person. I also say a quick prayer when I notice myself getting on-edge.
 
I have terrible impatience and anger sometimes. Trying hard to change.
 
I have terrible impatience and anger sometimes. Trying hard to change. I hate the fact that I am sinning and going against all that our Dear Lord suffered for.
 
My kids and my husband are what get me going 🙂 I snap at them a lot. Trying to give it up for lent but failing sometimes 😦
 
Hello Kindness 🙂

Our parish priest told us a story one day.

There were two men, one religious/holy and one not-so-much. When people looked at those two individuals they found one evil spirit on the not-so holy guy, while ten evil spirits on the spiritual/religious guy.

Why is that, you may ask? It was so easy and unchallenging to tempt the non-religious guy and one evil spirit would have done it easily. With the religious guy, ten evil spirits were working their butts off in attempt to make him fall into temptation.

Of course the story is to be taken figuratively 🙂 My point is, you might experience more temptation because you might be closer to God more than ever and the evil ones are working their butts off to make you fall into impatience and anger?

Also, remember that anger is an emotion, it is what you do with that emotion that will cause you to sin. It’s hard to think of anything pleasant when a situation that evokes impulsive behaviour comes up! But you must start little by little, let’s say you waited an extra ten minutes on the line in a grocery store, give the person behind you your spot! Start with little exercises.

As Aristotle might say, to build your moral muscles, you need to start with light exercises first!

God bless you 😃
 
Thank you all so much for your very thoughtful replies. When I first prayed about patience the first thing that occurred to me was my relationship with my 12 year old who is currently in a major run-up to puberty. I know that her brooding and skulking around, general surliness and snarling at me is an “age and stage” and not about me really (I hope! I hope and trust in you Lord!). I realized the best way to deal was to reflect on patience and have no expectations of the sweet and polite young girl that apparently she manifests at other people’s homes at present. She knows I love her and we tell each other every day. If she’s grumpy best to take the focus off myself and know “this too shall pass” (please God!) she’s not even a teenager yet… :o
 
LaSainte said:
My kids and my husband are what get me going 🙂 I snap at them a lot. Trying to give it up for lent but failing sometimes 😦
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im so glad that this thread has been put up…

im not bad at having a bit of patience,but lately i have started to become lacking more and more of it.with this comes the anger i get with not being patient.

i do things and say things that i dont mean to say or do. instantly i regret the things that i have done and said.i get nasty with these actions…its not me one bit.but it becomes hard when you have a wife/family who seem to be demanding all the time for money/time.and after a very hard days work i(i work in the construction) dont seem to have any time to relax,i some times feel like im being taken for granted.though feelings can play with your head .im so upset this very moment because i had a row with my wife yesterday morning and i got angry and grabbed her to hard .now she is staying at her mothers,my son is still at home but the daughter is with her.

the thing is,i feel as though nobody is in the slightest bit interested in how i feel about things and if they do its only until a conversation about it is over its forgotten.

im strong enough to see my faults but people are ignorant or blind of theirs some times…

and im trying to be patient a lot more and not to get angry during lent,also to take that through into life when its over.but people seem to be testing me to the limit. i also know that some of it is the weakness within me…

had to get this of my chest…

thanks for listening…
 
Yes – I agree with the prayer being important. However – because you say that your impatience is something that has shown up recently – are you perhaps stressed out about something? Are you getting enough exercise/sleep/eating healthy? Perhaps even see a Dr. to determine that all levels are okay (get a physical). It’s just odd that it has come so recently – you may do yourself a favor to investigate a bit more.
 
I find it very hard to curb ones temper etc. Little things can annoy me. I am trying. Patience is my worst thing. Being a lack of it!
 
doormouse73 said:
im so glad that this thread has been put up…

im not bad at having a bit of patience,but lately i have started to become lacking more and more of it.with this comes the anger i get with not being patient.

i do things and say things that i dont mean to say or do. instantly i regret the things that i have done and said.i get nasty with these actions…its not me one bit.but it becomes hard when you have a wife/family who seem to be demanding all the time for money/time.and after a very hard days work i(i work in the construction) dont seem to have any time to relax,i some times feel like im being taken for granted.though feelings can play with your head .im so upset this very moment because i had a row with my wife yesterday morning and i got angry and grabbed her to hard .now she is staying at her mothers,my son is still at home but the daughter is with her.

the thing is,i feel as though nobody is in the slightest bit interested in how i feel about things and if they do its only until a conversation about it is over its forgotten.

im strong enough to see my faults but people are ignorant or blind of theirs some times…

and im trying to be patient a lot more and not to get angry during lent,also to take that through into life when its over.but people seem to be testing me to the limit. i also know that some of it is the weakness within me…

had to get this of my chest…

thanks for listening…
Click to expand...
I can relate to everything you said. Over time, we can either let all these crazy people in our lives get to us, I mean make us bitter like Ebeneezer Scrooge, or we can look at the Cross. Why should I expect to be treated any better than him? Bitterness is unforgiveness. The people in my life are sinners. That’s the reality. Why should I expect them to be saints when they deal with me? Having the wrong expectations about people made me bitter. It’s nice when they treat me right. I enjoy it when they treat me right. But I shouldn’t expect everyone in my life to always treat me right. Making a conscious effort to let go of some of the irrational expectations that I was putting on people is helping me. And I find that I’m much freer and I’m enjoying my brothers and sisters more. I just hope they’re enjoying me.
 
So glad that I have company in the “we skipped out of the patience line too soon” area. Typically I am an easy-going, get along with everyone person, but put me in my car - fasten the seat belt, and I turn into someone that I’m not too proud of. Language that I rarely if ever use can be heard in my car should some other driver carelessly do this or that; make me wait too long (depends on the day as to what’s too long - could be seconds) and this is the biggest, most inconvenient situation that could happen; this one doesn’t signal, that one came into my lane - you name it, they’re all out to get ME.

So I began playing a little game with myself. As I leave my driveway (by the way, dead end street) I make the Sign of the Cross and pray, asking God to help me be the person that he knows and expects me to be. 2 blocks later I need to enter the real world of other cars…this is where it can start to go down hill.

So I pray Our Father…Hail Mary…Glory Be…and then say some personal prayers all the way to work - we’re not talking far folks, 2 miles. Most times I make it to work now without blowing my top - coming home is a different story, but one thing at a time. Anyway, I find that it’s difficult to be offensive and short-tempered while praying. It works for me (most times), maybe it’ll work for you too!
 
ajecphotos said:
I have terrible impatience and anger sometimes. Trying hard to change.
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Me too my anger could led me to homicide any time soon don’t know if this a spiritual battle or im just bitter also im becoming racist agains white people because all of the injustices minorities go through
 
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